The Sacrifice
by ElCullen
Summary: “Ahh, Isabella” he said and I found my self looking straight into Lord Voldemort’s red eyes… Edward left, Bella was changed but what if things took a turn towards the ultimate distruction? Bella and Edward OOC.First ff, plz give it a shot! Canon Pairings
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer****: I don't own anything!!! No copyright infringement here…**

**This is my first fanfiction, so please forgive any mistakes…**

**Prologue**

**Bella Pov**

Recently someone told me that a life without love is no life at all…

I believed him… That is why now I am standing here ready to sacrifice my life for the sake of those I love…

I never thought that I Bella Swan, the fragile little human would ever be this brave!

But things change, the one you love leaves you, your family abandons you and your heart stops beating…

I will die today, but I am not sorry. I've lived a full life… I loved and was loved in return. The only hole in my heart is him leaving me, is my family leaving me… I guess I wasn't good enough… I guess some things are not meant to be…

But now as darkness closes in and death approaches I can only think of him, I can only whisper his name and hope that my soul will touch his for once after all this time we've been apart.

I know that my sacrifice won't be in vain… I know that now I'm the only one left that can give Harry this chance to defeat the evil forever and I don't regret this.

_Edward, Edward, Edward…._

The only thing I regret is that my name will be forgotten… It will fade away like the whisper of the wind and he won't have a chance to know what happened to me. I don't know if he cares but I would like him to know that I've tried… I've tried to make a difference in the world, I have fought against the darkness…

_Edward, Edward, Edward…._

So many things I have not said to you… So many moments I could have shared with you… Lost…

"I love you, Edward Cullen" I whispered into the wind

I walked towards the circle. They were already there, figures with long black cloaks and masks in their faces. He was standing in the middle waiting as I was making my way towards him. I didn't put on my mask it was hopeless… He knew everything…

I walked into the circle and stood in front if him.

"Ahh,Isabella" he said and I found my self looking straight into Lord Voldemort's red eyes…

**AN:**

**Well that's the prologue! I know it's short but I just wanted to give you a taste so you could te****ll me if you like this and if you want me to continue this story!! So please be very nice and kind with me and review!!!!!!!!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer**: **I own nothing indeed! So no copy infringement here…**

**I just wanted to say that I got the idea of writing this crossover because I was a bit tired by all those stories about Bella being changed and joining the Volturi. I just wanted to read something different. I just hope I wasn't the only one! Anyway, here is chapter 1… Please enjoy!!! **

**Chapter 1**

**Bella Pov**

_17 years earlier_

I was running. I was running as fast as my legs would carry me, as hard as this new body of mine could take. But still it wasn't enough… I couldn't get rid of the guilt that I was carrying.

Charlie, Renee, Jacob… My family. They had lost me. All I ever did was causing them pain because now I couldn't go back. I could never go back again…

Was I surprised?

No, of course not! That's how my life had always been! Being a vampire was all I ever wanted, but then he left me and I was depressed. If I had a chance to get over my depression and stop paining my family I had lost it forever…

Because now I was a vampire!

Now that he didn't want me anymore, now that they had abandoned me forever I was doomed in a life of immortality…

_Of all the rotten luck in this unfair world!!!_I thought to myself.

I was unconditionally and irrevocably all alone in this earth for the rest of my pitiful existence which was FOREVER!!!

Anger was starting to blaze in me… Hatred for those who left me… They knew very well I was a magnet for trouble and look in what state I was now! I hated them; I had never hated anyone so much in my life…

I stopped running as a glorious scent hit my delicate senses. I was deep in the forest now so what could this possibly be?

I was following it for a while when I came across a small clearing. There were two hikers there, a man and a woman. I could see that they were really intimate with each other. And suddenly I was the woman; I was in a different clearing bigger and brighter with a bronze haired angel talking the same way the two in front of me did…

_He left you, he left you, HE LEFT YOU__!!! _A mocking voice chanted in my head.

My anger boiled now and all I could see was red. The monster I had become rose inside me and then I snapped…

I was beside them in an instant and I had drained the man in front of her. I didn't care though; my fury was stronger than anything else at the time.

I turned myself to her. She was afraid, but I still couldn't care. She was in love and she smelled great. She had to die. I had to kill her. That was all I could think. So I did. I launched myself at her and drained her dead.

Once my thirst was quenched I sat by their bodies. I felt strong, I felt free. Love was overrated after all. Now power, that was something. That was everything. And thirst, why resist it? I could not understand. It was who I was now.

Bella Swan was dead.

Isabella Marie Swan was alive.

And she was free, because she loved no one. She was strong because she could decide whether she would let somebody live or die. Isabella was not fragile; she didn't need anyone to save her… She could save herself.

I could save myself… A smile crept on my lips after all this time. Yes, things were different now, I was different now…

So, I pulled myself up and walked away from the first into a sere of many crimes.

************************************************************************************************************

_Canada, 2 months later_

The man was following me into the dark alley. He was… dazzled… Oh, yes… This body had its conveniences… I was beautiful now. I could lure a human into come after me, exactly like this idiot now. He didn't stand a chance…

Once we got deeper into the alley I launched myself at him. He was dead before his body hit the ground and I was full for the time being.

Since that day in the forest I had been living like this. I was 2 months in this city. I didn't mind as long as I could feed but I didn't want too much attention on me. If I stayed here too long the humans would notice.

Still, I was gifted. it's only been 2 months since I was changed but I could control my thirst when I had to. I would have to move soon though; the problem was I didn't know where to go. I had no purpose in life now.

I was knocked out of my reverie as my delicate senses caught a slight movement into the dark. I caught a strange sent, it was neither human nor animal.

_What the hell?_

I stared intently into the shadows until a man came in sight. He was very pale, almost as I was, and he had ruby red eyes. He looked a lot like a vampire but his features resembled more to a certain animal. A snake.

_Well, he certainly doesn't smell like a vampire!_ I thought to myself.

"Your name, young one" he said with a low voice.

I didn't answer.

"Tell me your name"

I kept looking at him still not answering.

He was looking back at me with an intent look on his face, but whatever he was looking for it wasn't there because he screamed in frustration.

I took my time to observe him. He was wearing long sleeved black robes and he was holding a stick in his long fingered hand.

_What the hell did he want that anyway? Oh, please tell me he doesn't think he can use it against me!!! _

I was ready to burst out laughing when he raised it against me.

"Are you foolish enough to try and fight me off?" I told him, still on the verge of laughter.

He just mumbled something and next thing I knew I was laying flat on my back screaming from the pain. I had never felt this way before. I was being stabbed with a thousand knifes. No pain had ever been like this one, not even the one of the transformation. I was dying, I must have been dying. But as I was waiting for the end to come, the pain had stopped.

"Your name" was the only thing he said

"Isabella" I stuttered

"Well, Isabella, tell me. Before you were changed were you a witch?"

"What do you mean a witch?"

"I mean magical" he said

"There are no such things as witches!" I answered

"But there are vampires? If you hadn't been a witch in your previous life and you know nothing of my world, then how can you block me?"

I didn't know what he meant exactly when he said "witch" and "his world" but I understood that question.

"You can read minds?" it was all I could think.

"In a way… But you, it's like you're not even there!!" he answered

"I know" I told him "It's happened before"

"What do you mean?"

I didn't answer though. Those days were not something I wanted to remember and they definitely weren't something I wanted to share. So I stayed silent, looking at him.

And then the pain was back… Worst than before…

"Please stop! I'll tell you! I'll tell you anything you want to know!!!"

The pain was gone momentarily as if someone lifted it from me. And then I understood.

If there was a case that magic existed he would be a… wizard? Ugh!

So he was holding a… wand?

And he was casting a…. spell??

On me????

Great! Just great!! My bad luck was getting worse!!!!

"Tell me what's happened before" he ordered me simply

"I knew this vampire that could read minds but he couldn't read mine." I answered quickly

"You can block mental powers! You have a gift, Isabella. A powerful gift. Very good. Very good indeed…"

_I had a gift? _

_Well, some vampires do!!!_ a voice in my head replied

"So now what?" I asked and he laughed

"You are coming with me!"

Me? With him? Where? And why?

"Magic is very real, Isabella. And the magical world is about to gain a new leader! Me!" he said as if he sensed my wonder

"I still don't understand why that has anything to do with me"

"My leadership will change the way things are in my world. And those changes involve magical creatures, which includes you in as one of them."

"I still don't see why I need to follow you anywhere!" I said and I screamed in the agonizing pain that followed my statement.

"You will follow me, because you are a vampire which is lower than any wizard. You will follow me because now I am your new master. You will follow me because those who don't follow me oppose to me and those who oppose to me will be hunted and eliminated! I am powerful, Isabella and everyone is with me because everyone wants to be powerful. Power is everything in this world!!!" he was telling as I was seething in pain.

I understood. I really did. Power was everything. Power was safety. Even I could see that. And then I saw Ed…. _his_ face clearly in my mind and the anger inside me boiled with fury.

_Love is overrated…_ I thought

"Love is overrated!!" I said through my screams and the pain stopped.

He was looking at me with a funny look on his face, almost like surprise.

"Exactly" he said quietly "Love is overrated!! No one needs love!!!"

I nodded to show him my agreement.

"Very good" he said

"You learn quickly and you share one of my most basic opinions. I believe you will make an excellent death eater!!"

"Just one last question" I said in fear. He nodded.

"What is your name?" I asked

"I am the Dark Lord. I am Lord Voldemort!" he answered me simply

"And now, come young one I want to leave!" he ordered

"Yes, master" was the only answer I could give…

**AN:**** Yes, Bella is bad now… I fell like I should warn you though; it's only going to get worse!! Anyway, constructive criticism is always more than welcome, so please review!!!!!!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer:**** I own nothing…**

**Problem!!! You don't review, people!!!!! Not even to tell me that you hate this story!! So, now I don't have a clue if you like this story or not and I really don't know if I should continue writing it… However, I have decided to give you the second chapter… But I need feedback! That's why, after this I won't update unless I get 12 reviews… I'm really sorry I'm breaking it to you, but I'm desperate here!! I need to know if you like this story and if you want me to go on with it or write something different… So, please review even if it is to tell me you hate this… **

Chapter 2 **(continues from the previous chapter)**

_2 years later_

The forest was silent. However, I was crouched in a defensive position in front of our team's leader, Bellatrix Lestreing. She knew I didn't feel comfortable with this meeting still she insisted I should join them.

_Makes sense… The woman absolutely hates you!!!_ I thought

It's been two years since I was half offered and half forced to join the deatheaters by the Dark Lord himself. And ever since day one, Bellatrix hated me with passion… I perfectly understood where she was coming from though…

Before me, there was noone lower than a wizard admitted to the classes of the deatheaters. I was a vampire; dangerous and lethal but not descended from wizards. That was my greatest flow because according to the deatheaters beliefs creatures like me were inferior to wizards. In a normal situation, I should be the slave not the master…

I never really understood why He made me a deatheater… I was dangerous, yes… When I gave in to my instincts, I was hard to control. That's why over the years I gained the rumor of the cruelest bloodthirsty deatheater. The Dark Lord was very proud of me and he insisted that he had foreseen this since he first met me.

The other deatheaters would believe him.

I would not.

It didn't make sense. If he wanted a bloodthirsty beast Fenrir Greyback would suite better for the role.

Honestly, the mutt was taking vicious in a hole new level!! It's not that I was any better but at least I wasn't sadistic about it.

Well, not anymore…

I had to feed and I had to survive; if I didn't kill I would be killed either by our enemies or my "friends"… I really had no other choice; and I wanted to live…

Bellatrix knew all this and like me she too would not fall for the strength explanation. She knew that it was something else about me…

Pity, neither of the two of us could grasp it…

My ears caught the sound of approaching footsteps; there was no full moon tonight. Greyback and his rumble came out of the darkness and approached us. Once he saw me, he started growling and Bellatrix smiled; of all the deatheaters she was the only one who liked him. Probably I would too if the choice was between him and someone I hated his guts; me.

I growled back intensely as Lucius Malfoy came forth.

"Now, now Greyback, we don't need any fighting, tell us what do you know?" Malfoy said calmly

"You should not have brought the bloodsucking leech with you!! I don't like her!!" he said

"Who cares what you like, mongrel?" I said mockingly

"Enough" said Bellatrix "tell me what you know, Fenrir"

"The ministry is planning something. The minister went to Hogwarts three days ago and he's still there." He answered her

"Our spies in the ministry haven't informed us of a visit in Hogwarts" Malfoy said "Are you sure about this?"

"Yes, I had two of my people stationed in Hogsmide and they heard the caretaker talking about it in the local pub. It's supposed to be very secret and all that" Greyback said with certainty

"Well, Fenrir your services are once again valuable!" answered Bellatrix

"Yes, good job Greyback. We must inform the Dark Lord of this!!" said Malfoy

"What do you suppose it is?" asked Greyback

"Anything involving the old lizard can't be good…" I answered calmly

"Indeed" said Narcissa Malfoy

"Enough" said Bellatrix "We must tell our master"

"Very well" answered Greyback

"We'll keep in touch in case you find out something new" said Malfoy and turned to leave…

************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************

It had been a week since we informed the Dark Lord of the enemy's deeds.

Needless to say, he was furious because we couldn't tell him more…

Since that day we stopped going to elimination missions. Personally, I couldn't care less and I didn't even have to worry about that! The fact that my mind was immune to any kind of assaults like legilimensy had a lot to do with it.

Having for your master a wizard that could always tell when you were lying to him, therefore being able to half read your thoughts made it very dangerous to think freely… However, I never had to worry about that because of my special gift…

Mackner, a deatheater with great passion for all magical creatures told me that the Volturi, the rulers of the vampire world would kill to have someone with my talent in their guard. Especially, since I could extend it to others as well.

_And with great regard to the fact that I was the only vampire alive who had huge knowledge over the wizarding world__!!_ I thought sarcastically.

I have never met the Volturi though… Actually since my transformation, I have never met anyone like me…

The Dark Lord had ordered the vampires and the werewolves to help him a year ago. The werewolves obeyed, the vampires didn't. For some crazy reason they only knew, the Volturi had denied to bow down to the Dark Lord…

They thought they were being brave, I thought they were being idiots… They couldn't fight us of and now they would all die…

_What a waste!!_

There was only one exception to the whole vampire world…

Only one vampire who did the exact opposite from the others…

Me…

I was the traitor… I was the one who not only helped but also joined the deatheaters…

And they knew…

They didn't know my name or how I looked but they knew someone had betrayed them… And that was the reason I had never met another vampire… I was too precious to endanger myself like this…

Again I didn't know why…

Again I didn't really care…

That was how my life really was… I fed from humans, I killed wizards and I was indifferent about everything else…

The anger that consumed me two years ago was gone… Now, I couldn't feel anything… I was… bored.

My human life was mostly a blur except for the last year before my change. Those moments with him, with my family were the happiest time in my long life… Although it was something that I rarely gave any thought now…

I had moved on brutally, unwillingly… I had moved on… And I understood better now…

Vampires were pets to wizards as humans were pets to vampires. That's the way it's supposed to be… He couldn't love me because I wasn't good enough for him… I had been a challenge because of my blood's scent; when he overcame that obstacle, he lost his interest.

I could not forgive, but I could understand…

I was pulled out of my reverie when someone called my name. I turned around to find a house elf.

"What do you want?" I growled and it took a step back

"The Dark Lord wishes to speak to you, mistress"

I turned around and walked away without saying thank you. I was stronger, I didn't have to.

As I walked into the dining room of the Malfoy manor everyone's eyes turned on me.

He was standing to the other side of the room eyeing me carefully as I bowed to him

"You asked for me, master?"

"Yes, Isabella. I asked for you." He said with tension

_Was he nervous?__ What the hell???_

"Tell me what would you do for your master?" he asked

"Anything, my lord!" I answered alarm ringing in my head

He looked at me half pleased and half angry as if he was trying to reach a decision.

"Yes" he said puzzled

"Is there anything troubling you, master?" I asked carefully

He looked at me one last time and his eyes became a darker shade of red; whatever it was, he had made a decision.

"I have a new task for you, Isabella"

**AN**: **That's it… Not a great chapter but it will help with the plot… Please review…**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer****: I own nothing. No copy infringement in this story…**

**I want to thank very much all those people who reviewed and added this story into their favorites list! It means so much to me!!! Now, I know I said I won't update till I get 12 reviews but I feel bad having all you who like this story waiting… Especially since I already have the next chapter! Anyway, in last chapter I haven't written it's from Bella's Pov because this story will be mostly Bella… I'll definitely make Edward's Pov but it will be long since he's in the story…**

**Enjoy!!**

Chapter 3

I was walking slowly towards the big gates. And I thought this couldn't get worse…

_Damn it!!!_

_You have a new task, Isabella!!!_ I thought mockingly

Of course I had a new task!!! To get myself killed!!! As if I wasn't the unluckiest person in the world, as if I wasn't doing crazy things on my own!!!! Now I had a task!!!

_The task!!!!! _

The Dark Lord and his bunch of crap!!!

_Grrrr!!!_

What the hell was his problem?? I was supposed to be one of his most precious servants!! Why was he trying to get me killed???

_Duh!!!_

_Alright, Isabella! You need to control your anger now!!! Snapping someone's neck here wouldn't be of any help!_ I tried to calm myself down.

Everyone thought that I was the bloodthirsty vampire deatheater. I knew that I wasn't bloodthirsty- alright, maybe a little- mostly I had serious anger issues… Not that I would ever admit that…

This wasn't helping really… All I wanted to do was go back and snap the Dark Lord's neck for even thinking of asking me this!!!

_Rebellious! Disrespectful! Disobedient!!!__ He is your master!!!!_

Yes, and he was sending me on a suicide mission!!! Maybe I was rebellious and disrespectful and disobedient, but I wasn't an idiot… If things turned ugly it was my head that would be lost…

_I guess this means, I'm on my own!!!_ I thought

I was never loyal to the deatheaters or their master… I had to obey because some of them were stronger than me. That's the law of the jungle and since I first joined them I was in the middle of that jungle with every kind of beast lurking in the shadows to have my head on the first wrong footstep I would take…

But this new task… I wasn't a witch, I was a monster… I couldn't pull this trough and they knew it too!!

So the deatheaters had betrayed me… I knew that eventually this would happen; I just never thought it would be this soon… Then again time had a very different meaning to them….

I had to survive… So I would have to play my cards very carefully from now on, take one step at a time, not let my anger consume me…

_Ha!! Easier said than done!!!_

The newborn's strength was fading away but the cruel instincts and the difficulty to control myself were very present… The prudence that would come to any other newborn after two years of existence would not come for me. I lived in an atmosphere of constant fighting and hatred; obviously I was unique again.

Wasn't that just great? Even as a vampire I just couldn't stand to be normal!! I was the freak among the other freaks!!!

"_We need to do something about your self-esteem, Bella!!"_ the memory of the pixie-like vampire that used to be my best friend once caught me completely out of guard…

_What the hell??__ Am I going crazy here??_

I was probably going to die and all I thought was A… Alice??? Oh, men!! There's something seriously wrong with this vampire!! Seeing someone who all that she cared was to play with me because she had no other way to make time pass!!!

"I think you're going crazy, Bells" I heard a voice in my head that I couldn't exactly place although I've heard it before. Could it be Jacob???

_Enough, enough, Isabella!!_ A cold voice in my head commanded

_You have no reason to open the door to the past! You are not Bella anymore, you don't need anyone now!! We are here for a reason!! Let's do it and get over with it!!!_

"Right" I said to myself "The task"

I knocked the great door and waited. A man opened it and looked at me with astonishment.

I didn't waste any time; I had no such luxury. A moment of hesitation could cost my life here…

"I want to talk to professor Dumbledore" I said loud and clear

He kept looking at me like an idiot. I saw a movement behind him and a severe voice asked

"Who is it, Mr. Filts?"

The man kept looking at me panic clouding his eyes. Then he replied

"It's… it's a… a…." he had lost his words again

Seriously, I was starting to get older here!!!!

"A what, Mr. Filts??" replied the voice with an edge of impatience

"A… a vampire!!!" he said and then he fainted

**AN:**** It's kind of short I know… I really hope you liked it… Tell me what you think of Bella! This time I'll answer to all those who review and I'll give them a short sneak peek of the next chapter!! So review, please!!! **


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer:**** I own nothing!!!!!**

**First of all, a big thanks to all those who reviewed and those who added this story into their favorites and into their alerts list!!! I can't tell you all how happy I am that you like this story!!! I won't stall any longer!!! Enjoy!!!!!!!!**

Chapter 4

I looked up from the idiot lying on the floor to face a woman with a severe expression and her wand at hand.

_Makes sense!_

"Professor McGonagall, I suppose?" I asked

My knowing who she is didn't affect her composure. Obviously she was one of those people that no one wants to mess with; not even me…

"Yes, that's me. And you might be?" she replied coolly

"I'm Isabella Swan." I answered and expected for the attack to come

A minute passed but still nothing happened. I looked at her curiously

"Won't you attack me?" I asked before I could stop myself

"And why would I do that?"

"Hello!!! I'm the bloodthirsty-vampire-deatheater!!!"

"And you are in Hogwarts. Except if you're suicidal you have a reason to be here, correct?" she was behaving as if we were in class and I was the student who forgot to do her homework.

"Well, Miss Swan?" she insisted

_Is she on something???_

I tried to compose myself but my voice still came out croaked

"I want to see professor Dumbledore" I said slowly

"Very well" she answered "Follow me"

We crossed the big castle until we reached a gargoyle. Obviously, Hogwarts was designed to protect the headmaster. Professor McGonagall stood in front of me and said "chocolate frogs"

Chocolate frogs? Chocolate frogs??????? What kind of person chooses that to be the password in Hogwart's headmaster's office??????

_That would be the headmaster__, smart-one!!!!_

We were standing in front of a big door while professor McGonagall was knocking. A deep voice answered and she turned the handle.

The room was pretty interesting. There were portraits hanging in the walls and a big desk in the middle. I have never met Albus Dumbledore before; I've only heard descriptions.

He was standing behind his office and he was looking at me with a piercing blue gaze and a small smile on his lips.

_What's so funny?_ I thought

"Miss Swan would like a word with you professor" McGonagall said

His smile widened

_Huh?_

"Thank you, professor McGonagall. Could you please go and help Mr. Filts to wake up?" he asked politely

She looked at him then she looked at me then back at him. In the end she sighed.

"Very well" she said and turned to leave

No one moved until the door was shut behind her.

_Now what?_

"Well, Isabella I'm glad to finally meet you. Please have a seat." He told me while he was sitting in his chair.

_Have a seat? Have a seat???_

I was one of his most dangerous enemies and all he would do was to offer me a seat???

"I don't want to sit" I said fiercely. My anger was starting to boil again; was everyone in this earth mocking me?

"My dear girl, standing is not good for the feet!" Dumbledore said still smiling

"Well, since I'm the vampire my feet will be just fine, thank you!"

"Very well, so Isabella what can I do for you?" he asked

_Good question!_ I thought

_But what's the answer??_

"I have some information for you" I answered carefully

"And that would concern?" he asked curiously

"The deatheaters" I answered shortly

"Why do you want to give me this information, Isabella?"

Oh, no!!! No, no, no!!! The old lizard would have to be satisfied only by the facts.

"My reasons are my own! Do you want my help or not?" I asked with confidence evident in my voice

Dumbledore studied me very carefully and then he nodded. A smug smile crept on my lips.

"But I can't risk anyone's safety so you'll have to accept some terms, Isabella." He said seriously

_Grrr!!!!!_

I had no choice really! I was the weakest in this game; I'd do anything to survive!

"Name the terms" I said through gritted teeth

"First, you'll join the Order of the Phoenix"

I nodded

"Second, you'll stay with someone from the order for a period of time until we can fully trust you"

I nodded again. I had to, really; If I told him no, I'd die. If I went back to the Dark Lord empty handed, I'd die. If I tried to escape I'd die… I intended to survive this war at any cost and that was what I would do!

"And third" he said "You'll change your diet"

I looked at him like he was crazy. The last request had done it. I was furious again.

"You want me to do what????" I shouted

"I want you to change your diet" Dumbledore replied quietly

"Look I think you haven't noticed-probably it's the old age- but I'm a vampire!!!! I need blood!!!"

"Not necessarily humans blood though"

"Really? And what do you suggest oh-bearded one??" I asked mockingly

Dumbledore smiled

"You'll feed on animals, of course!"

_Of course!!_ I thought and opened my mouth to disagree but a knock in the door cut me of

"Oh!" Dumbledore's smile widened even more as he turned to face the door

"Now be nice Isabella, it's your new teacher!!"

I looked at the door as it opened and faced no other than Remus Lupin.

Wonderful, just wonderful! He had hired a werewolf to teach me how to feed on animals!!! I crouched defensively

Lupin looked from me to Dumbledore and then back again with astonishment written all over his face.

"Remus I want you to meet our latest add to the Order, Isabella!" said Dumbledore with joy as if nothing had happened

The mutt composed himself pretty fast and asked

"What can I do for you, professor?"

"I want you to teach Isabella how to feed on animals" he answered

_Was he crazy?_

"Sure he will!" I said and they both looked at me

"Isabella" Dumbledore said "No one will attack you. The members of the Order protect each other"

"He's a werewolf! I'm a vampire!! You don't expect me to trust him!!!!" I screamed in frustration. Why were they trying to mess with my head?? Fenrir Greyback was in the same side as I was for two years but he wouldn't lose a chance to attack me. Why should this one be any different?

"I won't hurt you" the mutt said sincerity ringing in his voice "Not as long as we are in the same side"

"Yeah, yeah I've heard this crap before!!"

"Look" he said "I have no reason to attack you if you don't attack me first. I am a werewolf but I' not sadistic about it and I don't enjoy other peoples pain. I have better things to do!"

He did? What better things? He was a monster just like me!!!!

"Isabella…" Dumbledore warned

This was my life and obviously I would lose it if I didn't trust the mutt. But the way things looked right now I would probably die anyway; so I guess I could only try and extend my existence even if that meant trusting the enemy!! I sighed internally; the overage lizard and his puppy had won the fight… For now…

"Fine, mongrel but you better not try anything because I swear I'll hurt you!!" I said growling

He nodded acknowledging the fact that I had just agreed to a coexistence with him.

"Remus lives in the Headquarters of the Order" Dumbledore said

"I think it would be wise if you resided there for a while, Isabella. There are other wizards as well and they will make you feel more comfortable than living just with Remus."

"And what if I loose control and kill one of your precious allies?? I know that it is not easy to sustain from human blood. Especially when you live with humans!!" I answered

"You won't loose control. And if you do, I'll stop you before you hurt anyone" the dog said

"You seem pretty sure that you'll be able to stop me!" I snapped

"I am" he answered calmly

"Isabella, you don't need to worry. We will take care of you. And it is a good thing that you already know this won't be easy. Actually for a vampire who's only fed on humans it's surprising how certain you sounded when you said that you know this won't be easy…" said Dumbledore eyeing me curiously

_Damn it!! Me and my big mouth!! _

I was actually thinking the catastrophe in my eighteenth birthday party; not that I would tell any of it to them!! I'd better kiss Greyback in the mouth!!!

"I can figure out a few things myself, you know!!" I said trying to sound annoyed

It worked because Dumbledore smiled and asked

"Don't you report to Lord Voldemort where you are and what you do?"

If my heart was beating I would probably have an episode right there and then! But it didn't. Thank God….

I gasped loudly and said

"You said the name…."

Dumbledore cut me of

"Yes I did. And you should do that too. Always speak things with their names, Isabella! You'll have less to be afraid of!" he said heatedly and Lupin smiled

_Right__!_

"There won't be a problem with that. He trusts me not to betray him." I finally answered

Lupin seemed concerned but Dumbledore smiled wider

"Excellent! You two can be on your way then! And Remus you can prepare her for her first animal hunting experience!!!" Dumbledore said delighted

_Joy!_

"One last question" I said

"Yes?" he answered

"How did you know I would come? I walked in and you were very ready for me! You even had my teacher ready!" I asked

Dumbledore sighed comically and the dog's smile widened

"Isabella, in my age now is the only thing that's left so I'm usually prepared for anything that may come!!" he answered

"Anything?" I insisted "Even me?"

"Well yes! And if you must know I always enjoy a good surprise!!" he said airily

"But not more than chocolate frogs, huh??" I asked mockingly and the mutt burst out laughing

Dumbledore looked at me with his piercing blue gaze sparkling with amusement

"No, not more than chocolate frogs!!"

**AN:**** Finally, I thought this chapter would never end!!!! So I have one thing to say before I leave you to get some rest… Many people asked me when the Cullens will come in the story. Possibly if I were in your place I would ask the same question!!! So, the answer is **_**not yet**_**… And I have a good excuse (at least in my opinion!! Ha ha!!) I want Bella to be emotionally independent, which means that I want her to have friends who she loves and most important to learn how to love herself and her new life. I want her to be able to live without Edward but to CHOOSE to live with him!! And that will take some time! Do I make sense? I hope I am!!! Please review!! I'll answer, I promise!!!!!!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer:**** I own nothing!!!**

**So, a big thanks to all those who reviewed and added my story into their alerts and favorites lists!!!! You guys are the reason I keep writing this story!!!!!!! Anyway, just something I wanted to explain because I've been asked about it… Dumbledore doesn't trust Bella easily; the thing is he doesn't trust her yet, he just gives her a chance to be good! He has a very specific reason for wanting Bella on his side so when the chance appears, he grabs it!!!!! You'll find out why later!!! And yes, he knows about Bella's gift too!!!!!Oh and I've decided to title my chapters from now on!! I know it's kind of messed up to do that in the middle of the story but that's me!!! LOL!!!!!!!! Ha ha ha!! Enough with bubbling!!!!**

**Enjoy!!!**

Chapter 5 – Meetings

It had been a month; A long, painful month. I couldn't go out of course, because it would be too tempting for my control. Or at least, that's what the mutt thought!

_Hate to admit it but he's right!!!_ A voice in my head said

Alright, alright!!! He was right! If I got near to a crowd right now I'd probably be responsible for the biggest mass murder of all times in both wizard's and vampire's history!!! But I wouldn't… My guardian would make sure of it…

My effort to sustain was harder than it would be to any other vampire. The reason was simple; I wanted to be a monster. Not because I was sadistic about it like Fenrir Greyback, no… My thirst was something I knew I could rule if I wanted to. My problem was that I didn't want to be good…

If I were a good vampire I would both physically and mentally resemble to them; to the… the Cullens. The golden eyes and the constant fight over the blood thirst; it just pained me greatly… Two years of my existence I've been trying to move ahead… Two years of my existence I've been failing dismally to forget what I had within my arms reach and I lost so viciously… A family…

_My family…_ I thought sadly

Never in these two years I gave them much thought but my dead heart was silently suffering over their treason… Things had only gotten worst since I was forced to adopt their diet because now I thought them consciously and my depression was even bigger…

The werewolf, he was a… revelation… There was no other word to describe his behavior towards me. He was patient and insistent as a rock when it came to my diet. He kept trying to help me hunt even though I denied his help every time. For a reason he only knew he was acting as if he cared for me…

He had sensed my depression but instead of asking me right away what my problem was, he left me alone to think. He acted as if he understood me; and in a way I knew he did… He was a monster too but he tried to control and fight against his instincts to attack people since day one…. We were so different and yet so similar in a way…

Remus Lupin was the only member of the order that I saw daily. He and I lived alone in the headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix right now. However, there was just one more member that would visit us very often except Dumbledore; Hagrid.

He had come one day and startled me to death, metaphorically of course! Lupin found me crouched and ready to pounce on the giant and he smiled. Then he had hugged him and they had started laughing and telling jokes; I was… stunned, the very least!!

Hagrid took an immediate liking on me and he did everything in his power to make me comfortable and happy in my new home. My feelings towards him were mixed…

I felt amazed at how much he liked me although I had killed so many people; Hagrid was more of a teddy bear than the vicious half giant he appeared so he definitely had nothing to do with the monster I was. I felt grateful that someone in this world liked me for who I was. I felt scared when I thought that one day I would have to betray him to the Dark Lord to save my own skin. And last, I felt very, very pained when he was close to me… He reminded me too much of my long lost brother…. Emmet. He too was very frightening to look at but sweet and caring when it came to the ones he loved; or the ones I thought he loved… He loved his family… I wasn't a part of it or else he wouldn't have left me so easily, right?

_Right!_ I thought to myself

And then there was Dumbledore… He was always so kind with me and ready to teach me things. He would come once a week with Hagrid, ask me and not Lupin how I was doing and then discuss with me any kind of subject I would ask him to.

Although, I never showed it to him I was very grateful for our conversations. He explained me more of my gift and encouraged me to work with it. He and Lupin always discussed the current situation in England and I listened closely. Dumbledore's views over the wizarding world and especially over the magical creatures like me had given me many things to ponder.

He thought that any creature with feelings and thoughts should be free and equal to any wizard. I wasn't sure about that; the whole wizarding history proved that the wizarding world was built upon the suffering of lower magical creatures especially like house elves.

I even got to a heated argument with him in order to prove my point. Hagrid was very surprised with the way I thought about myself; Lupin was not. Ever since, I had that discussion very often with Dumbledore. He would always try to explain me that I wasn't lower to anyone, Hagrid would get very pissed at me and he would tell me that I was being silly; Lupin would just sit there and stare at me sadly.

And I would just listen to them but still keep my distance from them. Because I could see clearly what they were trying to do. With their very special abilities each one; they had figured out that I was seriously hurt in my past, so they wanted me to open up to them.

Changing my life already made me feel very vulnerable and weak. I had started to think more often the love I once felt for him and for my family. And after that I had faced depression, anguish, hurt, conflicts, hatred and oblivion. Yes, oblivion… The last two years I had forgotten who I was… Bella Swan had died a vicious death and I had survived becoming a monster… But now that my life was changing again the conscience I thought I had lost for good had started to wake up and slowly condemn me for all my crimes…

That was exactly why I didn't want to be good at the first place! It was fine as long as I was being bad and people were scared of me! Now I had three idiots trying to approach me and become my friends… I didn't want friends, I didn't need friends… Friends left and got hurt and died… I was pained enough already!!!

And still I hadn't learned my lesson… I was beginning to soften with them; especially with Hagrid. Lupin I could try and intimidate and Dumbledore I could mock around but Hagrid….. I just couldn't… The first time I ever tried he looked at me like a heartbroken and disappointed child. They were approaching me slowly but steadily… I was trying to drown myself in depression and self hatred but they just wouldn't let me… I couldn't hope again but surprisingly they didn't ask me to hope; they just hoped for me…

This was a very dangerous game because if I started having feelings for them how would I ever betray them to the Dark Lord? I wanted to live but what kind of life would that be if it was based on the deaths of people I loved?

I just had to keep my control intact! I had to not let them get in to me… I just hoped they would do the same because really killing people who love you but you don't love them doesn't seem any better to me…

_Don't worry yourself over that, Isabella!!! No one loves you!!! You are a monster!!!! Remember?? _A voice mocked me in my head

I remembered… Lately that was all I could think of… Maybe it was the animal's blood that messed with my head…

I sighed and got off of my bedroom. The mutt wasn't around and Dumbledore with Hagrid wouldn't come until tomorrow. Thankfully we were living in a big house near the woods into a secluded area so I really didn't need to worry about coming across humans or worst deatheaters…

The Dark Lord had kept his silence since the day he ordered me to join the Order and become Dumbledore's confidant. Like that was easy… The old weasel was very smart and although we would discuss very often what was going on he would never slip any information worth having! Even though he wasn't very patient; the Dark Lord showed extreme control in this case and gave me space to figure out Dumbledore's plans…

What could I say? That I had started liking the old fool better than my master? Well it was true! I would prefer not to betray Dumbledore or any of them for that case… At the moment, I tried hard to forget that that day would come…

I opened the door and headed to the woods; I needed to hunt.

****************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************

Three hours later I was walking into the house from the front door when I heard laughter from the living room. Normally I would have caught the several scents that were filing the air but I was so deep in thought that I lost it.

I moved carefully closer to figure out who it was but Lupin's sharp senses caught me and he shouted

"Isabella, why don't you come inside and introduce yourself?"

_Stupid dog!!!_ I huffed and walked fast to the living room. There was a tall handsome man leaning in the fireplace's frame, another one sitting in the armchair in front of it and the mutt was sitting in the couch with a strikingly beautiful red-haired woman who was in a state of very advanced pregnancy.

_What the hell?_ I thought

They all turned around to look at me and she smiled. She got up from her seat with difficulty and she approached me; both of the men tensed at this but Lupin didn't. He just stared at us very amused. Honestly, the mutt was getting on my nerves.

She extended her hand to me while saying

"Hello, it's finally nice to meet you! I'm Lily Potter."

"I… You're pregnant" was all I could answer back

Lupin's smile widened as if he was expecting me to throw a fit… Was he mocking me??

_Grrrrrrrr!!!_

The man that was sitting in the armchair got up and came forth

"I'm James Potter and yes she's pregnant" he said simply hugging his wife from the back

I didn't have to ask much, really… Everyone knew who James and Lily Potter were; famous aurors who opposed to the Dark Lord since they were still in school.

_How the hell did the mutt met them?_

"Right" I said and tried to compose my self. Her scent was of no help to me.

_Simply mouthwatering…_ I thought and winced at the pain of the memory

She noticed and reached out an arm to touch me

"Are you ok?"

Why the hell did she care anyway?

"If I'm not, you're not helping" I said holding my breath

Her husband caught the meaning of my words immediately and drove her away from me

"Can you handle it?" Remus asked

I nodded not daring to breathe

"Well, this definitely complicates things" said James Potter

I looked at him confused

"You see the deatheaters are on the loose and they're after James and Lily so Dumbledore proposed that they stay here with us" said Lupin calmly

"And what did you tell him?" I asked having a terrible suspicion

"I told him you can handle it" he replied still calm

"You Did What?" I asked through gritted teeth. I had forgotten about my thirst; I was absolutely furious. They would impose and I would have to deal with their blood being in an arms reach!! And he thought I wouldn't slip?? Stupid mutt!!!!!!!!!

"I told you it wasn't a good idea, Remus!!! Bloodthirsty vampire deatheaters are not suitable roommates for someone in Lily's condition!!" the man in front of the fire place said

"Finally someone in this Order with a bit of reason!!!!!!!!" I shouted frustrated

Lily Potter giggled and James smiled adoringly at his wife. Sadness took over me again but I was too furious to notice. The tall man crossed his arms in his chest and looked at the others half mad and half amused. Lily giggled again.

"What's so funny?" I asked growling

"Just the fact that you think Sirius is reasonable!!!" Lily said and this time they all burst out laughing

"Sirius? As in Sirius Black?" I asked stunned. His brother was a deatheater. His whole family were deatheaters. No, wonder they were all so ashamed of him. He had betrayed them. He too was a famous auror and James's Potter dearest friend; or at least that was what the rumors said.

He bowed to me and said

"In person!" and the others laughed again

I looked at him frustrated. Were they all crazy? Here they were laughing their heads out in front of a vampire famous for giving in to her instincts and whose only been sustaining from humans blood for about a month. And even worst they were planning to live in the same house with me; a pregnant woman with breathtaking scent!

_Can this get any worst???_

The front door slammed hard and I heard Hagrid's heavy footsteps in the hallway.

Honestly, why was the universe plotting against me?

Hagrid came in with Dumbledore following close behind.

_The old lizard!!!!_

I growled and Dumbledore exchanged a very amused look with Lupin.

_Grrrrrrrrrr!!!_

"Belly, is everything alright?" Hagrid asked while crushing James and Sirius in a hug

Yes, Hagrid was calling me Belly! He thought that it suited me more!! I had tried to scare him out of it once but he just paid no attention!! Maybe I should attack him after all!!!!!!

"No everything's not alright" I said through gritted teeth looked from Lupin to Dumbledore and then back again

They both smiled at this and Lily came forth. I took two steps back.

"Isabella, I' m really sorry for imposing I know you're trying hard and our presence is not make things easier but you don't need to worry!!" she said passionately

_No need to worry???_

I laughed

"No really! If you try and attack any of us the others will stop you!!"

"Let me guess, you put yourself in that too?"

"No way" said James

"Of course" Lily replied at the same time

"I thought so" I said looking at James

"Isabella" Dumbledore finally said "You can do this"

"And if I can't?? I suppose you won't mind me killing her??" I asked mockingly

The next minute Lily was behind James and Sirius stood in front of me his wand at hand. Wow!! That was fast!!!

"You wouldn't dare" James said

"Oh, don't worry!! She would die before she even tried!!!" said Sirius

"Enough" said Remus and he came over to my side

He was siding up with me???

"She won't do anything!!" he said with confidence and I opened my mouth to protest

He me cut of

"Isabella, I've been watching you for a whole month now. You have amazing self control, you can do this!!!"

Wow!!! Maybe he and I should form a U.F.M.!!! United Front of the Monsters!!!

"You really shouldn't trust me!!!" I said calmly

"No, he shouldn't" said James and Sirius together

"Yes, he should" said Hagrid and Lily

"Children" said Dumbledore smiling and we all looked at him

"Let's all calm down, shall we?" he asked and the tension was instantly gone

"Lily dear, I don't want you to worry about anything!! James I only want you to worry about your wife! And Sirius, you could always help Isabella adjusting in this new life." He continued

"I don't need his help" I said my anger boiling again

Lupin smiled at this

"What?" I said

"You're throwing a fit again" he answered and Dumbledore giggled

"Oh, come on!! Stop messing with Belly, Remus!!!" said Hagrid seriously and everyone burst out laughing

If I were a human, I would be blushing furiously right now. What could I possibly say to them all?? Obviously, these people were completely nuts!!!!!!

"I'm going hunting" I said and quickly turned around and walked to the hallway

I slammed the front door and walked away their laughter ringing in my ears.

_Let's all mock, Isabella!!! _I thought while running towards the woods.

If I were lucky, I wouldn't have to deal with this for long….

**AN:**** That's it!!! I hope you liked it!!! It's not much but it will help with the plot!!! Reviews are my feedback!!! Without them I can't write!!!! So please review, and you'll get a great answer from moi (yes, I speak French very fluently!!!) ha ha ha ha!!! Plus, a sneak peak of the next chapter!!!! So hit the green button!!!! **


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer:**** I own nothing, just my imagination!!! So no copy infringement here, only for entertaining reasons…**

**I know I'm becoming tiring but honestly I need to thank all those who reviewed, added this story into their favorites and alerts list and those who added me in their favorite author's lists!!!! Some of your mails really made me blush!!! I'll tell, seeing my inbox packed from your mails really makes my day, guys!!!!!!! So a big thanks to all of you who support me through this process!!!!!!! Here is chapter 6!!! Enjoy!!**

Chapter 6 – Story

I was standing in the middle of the forest completely stunned. The huge werewolf was coming towards me with great speed but I still couldn't move.

I was supposed to fight back, but I just couldn't… Why didn't any of us think about the full moon? I couldn't really remember… This was Remus Lupin in his wolf form and he was attacking me. The same Remus Lupin who has been struggling for the past month and a half to make me a better person.

I just… I couldn't kill him… I wouldn't fight him. I owed him. Right now he was the only one who had faith in me, the only one who thought I could try and fight the monster inside me just like he had. Personally, I thought that me being good was a long lost dream but even if I believed that, I couldn't do this to him. I couldn't stand to disappoint him…

He was very close to me now. That was it I was going to die. This was the end…

_Edward…_ I thought and closed my eyes

I waited for the impact of his attack but nothing happened; somewhere in front of me I heard struggle noises.

I opened my eyes and almost had a heart attack! There was Remus but he was held down by the biggest dog I had ever seen along with a stag.

What the hell was going on here??

Before I had a chance to move Lily emerged from the shadows and she came to me

"Isabella, we need to leave now!" she said with an urgent tone

"But what about…" I started saying but she cut me of

"Don't worry! Remus is going to be fine! Sirius and James can handle him!!"

S… Sirius and J… James?????

"What are you…" I stuttered

"Not now, Izzie!!! Please listen to me!! We need to go now!!!" she said quickly

_Izzie? Trust her?_ I thought as I was taking in our surroundings. James and Sirius… Ugh!!... were still holding Remus down and I was standing a few meters away looking dazed while Lily Potter was trying to pull me away with all her strength.

_Lily Potter… Lily Potter??? _

The same Lily Potter who was eight months pregnant?

_Damn it!!!! _

I lifted her from the ground and placed her in my back

"Hold on to me" I told her and sped of the woods

We reached the house in a few minutes.

_Boy__!! That was fast even for me!!_ I thought and then I scowled at her

"What were you possibly thinking coming out there in your state??? You could have died!!!" I shouted

"But I didn't" she replied

"Walking around in the woods with bloodthirsty vampires and werewolves out of control is not good for your health, Lily!!!! Or the baby's" I said still angry

She smiled

"Finally"

"And you didn't think… Huh?"

"I said finally!!! I thought it would take forever to call me with my name, Izzie!!! She said and her smile widened

_Here we go again!!!!_

"My name is Isabella, thank you very much!!! And your problem shouldn't be how I call you!!!! You could have been hurt!!!" I shouted and then a new thought occurred to me

"Wait a minute, are you hurt??" I asked almost frantic. I couldn't smell blood but who knew with this crazy woman

Her smile widened even more

"You're worried about me!!! Oh Izzie!!! how sweet of you!!!"

I screamed in frustration. She really was crazy!!!

"I'm not worried about you!!!! You're just pregnant!!! And I…" I whispered incoherently

"That is worrying, Izzie dear!!!" she said smiling like a maniac

"I… You're completely insane!!! Has anyone told you that before?" I told her frustrated

"As a matter of fact James was always very happy to remind me that when we were in school!! But that's not the point!!" she said heatedly

"Oh, really? What exactly is the point? And what do you mean James was always happy to remind you?"

"The point is that you care for me and my baby, which means that you are a good person even if you're trying to convince everyone for the opposite!!" she said confidently

"And" she continued "James and I used to hate each other when we were in school!!"

"I am not a good person!! And you don't hate each other! You're married with each other!!" I said through gritted teeth

She smiled

"Oh, yes you care!! I used to think James was a big idiot back in school!!"

"No I don't!! Then why did you marry him? I mean if you want my opinion he still is a big idiot!!" I answered

"I love him, Izzie!!! Even if he was an idiot, which is not the case here…" said Lily dangerously "I still wouldn't care!! Have you never felt this way before?" she asked innocently and I flinched at the pain that her simple question caused me

Oh, I had felt that way before… I had given my heart and my life and my soul but still it wasn't enough; still I had gained nothing but an immense amount of pain for the rest of my pitiful existence…

Lily saw the pain flicker across my face and instantly stood up from the couch where she was sitting

"Izzie…? Are you ok?" she asked concerned

Oh, no!! I was not going to talk about this!!! No way!!

"Can you stop calling me that stupid name? My name is Isabella, the bloodthirsty vampire deatheater!" I said angrily

"No!!" she said firmly "Your name is Izzie and you are my friend!! I don't know what caused you to become a deatheater at the first place- and that obviously is a big story- but I can tell a bad person when I see it and you are not a bad person!!!" she said passionately

"No, I'm worst than a bad person!!! I am a monster!!! And you shouldn't trust me, Lily!!!" I said sternly and then turned around and walked away.

I heard her voice calling me to come back but I couldn't… I had already wallowed in self hatred… She couldn't change that… No one could change that; not one… Not even him… If he ever found out what I have become, he would have been ashamed that he once was in a "relationship" with me… He would hate me and deny he was ever related to me in any way; I was sure… Then again, even if he met me, how would he ever recognize me?

_He wouldn't…_ I thought sadly

_Damn it!!!! _

This was definitely not helping… I had to survive!! Being distracted by my past and making friends with Lily Potter was not going to help me do that!!! On the contrary, it would make it more painful when I would have to betray them all…

Why had I spared Lupin's life and why had I gotten Lily out of the forest? Why did I care at the first place??

_Yes, you care!!! You are not a bad person!!! _I heard Lily's words repeat themselves in my head

_I'm a monster and you shouldn't trust me, Lily!!!_ I had answered her

I was a monster… All I had to do was to remember that when the time came to save myself… But for a strange reason I found it more difficult by the hour to think of all these people and especially Lily Potter dead…

I hadn't move for a long time… It didn't really mattered though… I didn't know how long it had been since Lily and I had that fight; I didn't care really… I was drowning myself in depression…

I should have died… The night I was changed, I should have died… At least I wouldn't have become this… I wouldn't have become a murderer… I shouldn't be around good people, like Lily and Hagrid because I was infected. I was infected by hatred and revenge and the Dark Lord. I didn't deserve Lily's and Hagrid's friendship…

I sighed. I really hated myself. Now, that I could see the extent of the damage that my behavior had caused to other creatures lives, I hated myself more than anything else… Now that I could compare myself to Remus and understand that I had a choice which he didn't but he would still try and fight against his nature, I saw myself clearly for the first time in two years…

I really was a monster… A vicious terrible monster… But not because I didn't have a choice like I kept claiming for the past two years; it was because I wanted to be a monster….

_Carlisle…_ I thought

He truly would have been ashamed of me… He wasn't the father I once thought that I could have but still for a stupid reason his opinion mattered to me…

I knew I couldn't fix this… I couldn't fix my past… And I wasn't sure I could fix my future either… Maybe I should die after all… Maybe I should go to the Dark Lord and ask him to kill me…

A knock on the door pulled me from my suicidal thoughts. Still, I didn't answer it.

The door opened but I didn't lift my head to look who it was

"Can we come in?" James asked

"Whatever" I whispered and saw him and Sirius coming in my bedroom and sitting on the couch

"So, what's going on?" asked Sirius

What was going on?

_Seriously??_

"Nothing" I answered

"Right" he said sarcastically "That's why you've been hiding in this hellhole for the past three days!"

I growled at him and James smiled

"Don't go too hard on her, Padfoot old friend!!! I'm not sure she can take it!!" he said mockingly

I growled again and Sirius giggled

"What's wrong with you two? Except of course the fact, that you can turn into animals!!!" I asked frustrated

"It's called animagus" Sirius said seriously and I looked at him puzzled

"When a wizard can shape shift into an animal; he's an animagus" he explained

I huffed

They looked at each other and then they looked at me. James spoke

"Do you want to hear our stories, Isabella? Do you want to learn why we decided to become animagi?" he asked me

I nodded and shifted my body so I could face them from my place on the floor

"The reason was Remus" James said seriously

_Huh?_

"We were all classmates in Hogwarts" Sirius continued "Remus was one of our best friends."

"Once a month he would disappear at night and come back very ill" James said looking at me straight in the eye

"We weren't idiots!" Sirius said getting up from the couch and pacing in the room

They were angry at Lupin for not telling them? Maybe they should be; but if he had told them they wouldn't be his friends, right? He was a monster after all…

"Eventually we figured out what was going on and where he was going" James kept on

"To transform" I whispered

"Yes" he told me "to transform"

"And you were angry at him for not telling you" I said. It was not a question.

"Damn right we were angry at him for not telling us!!! We were his friends!!!" Sirius said angrily

"And he was the monster" I guessed

At this Sirius stopped pacing and looked at me frustrated

"No, he was our friend!" he insisted

I couldn't tell the difference

"The thing is Isabella that we really didn't care what he was!" said James

"Whether he transformed into a giant wolf or not, in the end of the day he was still our friend; he was still Remus Lupin" he continued heatedly

"There is no cure from a werewolf's bite. Nothing, that anyone can do about those people. At least that's what we were told; but words never really stopped us" Sirius said half smiling

"We couldn't cure him, but we could help him through it." Said James

"All we had to do was to figure out a way"

"And after lots of study; we did" Sirius continued "The only creatures that were not affected by a werewolf's bite were animagi"

"It took three very painful years to learn how to do it" James told me

"But we managed"

"Yes, and when we did we finally helped Remus" Sirius agreed smiling

I was… stunned, the very least. My jaw was hanging open and my mind was trying hard to process what I had just heard.

They had become animagi for the sake of Lupin?

_No, they became animagi for the sake of their friend…_ a voice told me

"Isabella?" James asked

"How?" I asked back

"You mean how we helped him?" Sirius asked me and I nodded

"We went with him. Every time he had to transform, we would sneak out of our dormitory and go find him"

"We stayed with him through the whole thing. He was less aggressive when we were there… He wasn't hurting himself anymore" James said seriously and I could see what he meant.

Hadn't I thought a while ago how to kill myself?

_You deserve that…_

Yes, I did. I deserved that… I deserved every moment of it… But Remus… He was kind and caring. And he did for me something that the ones I once loved as a family had denied me; he had been there for me… I couldn't just ignore that… It was the reason I hadn't attacked him on the forest a few days ago.

He was the good monster… He deserved being around the good people… If it was possible, now I felt even worst…

"Isabella" Sirius and James were looking at me seriously

"We will do it for you too, if you let us" James said sincerely

"I'm not worth it" I whispered

"Let us be the judges of that!" Sirius insisted

"You need to go hunting." He continued

"Will you let us go with you?" James asked

"Will you let us help you, Isabella?" he asked me again and reached out a hand for me to take

I didn't speak.

I didn't do anything.

I just looked at them.

A minute passed.

Two minutes passed.

I extended my hand and took his.

And for the first time in two years, I felt a long forgotten feeling stir inside me.

Hope…

**AN: ****So that's it!!! I hope you guys like it!!!! I feel a bit anxious because this is the point that Bella makes the big turn to the good side!! So just a little tiny request to all of you who had been so very great and added me to your lists… Please from now on leave me a tinny little review!!! It's really important for me to know what you like and don't like about this story or my writing, so I can fix it or at least explain why it is the way it is… I hope I make sense!!!! I need reviews to go on!!!!! I'll answer to any review as usual and you'll get the sneak peak of the next chapter also!!!!! I know; I'm fast!!! Ha ha ha!!!!! Anyway, hit the green button!!!!!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer:** **I own absolutely nothing. No copy infringement, only for entertaining reasons… **

**All those who reviewed, added this story into their favorites and alerts lists and also added me to their favorites authors lists; a big thank you!!! Your support is really important!!!! It's the reason I keep writing!!! So, I've been asked if Sirius and Bella are going to end up together. The answer is no! I'm sorry to disappoint those who hoped for an ending like that but I like Edward too much to put him out of the story!!!!! So it's going to take some time to bring him in the story but be patient with me!! I promise their reunion is going to worth every minute of your waiting… So, enough with my bubbling!!! Enjoy!!!!**

Chapter 7 – Surprise

Almost a month had passed since the day James and Sirius told me their stories and asked me to let them help me.

At first it was awkward; they went hunting with me and I was very afraid that I would attack them instead of other animals. The problem was that they didn't smell like animals even when they were in that form. Obviously animagi couldn't turn their blood into animal's blood; so, the pull of their blood was the same to me even when James and Sirius were in the forms of the stag and the dog.

It was dangerous… It was a risk they never should have taken with me… When I hunt my most dark instincts rule me and with them smelling like humans it's really hard for me not to attack them. The good thing is that James and Sirius are not that helpless like ordinary animals. Obviously they cannot use a wand when they're in their animal form but their magic flows in them and makes them stronger.

I couldn't understand that until Sirius pinned me on the ground one day after a whole week with me winning about them being stupid and me ending up killing them… I stopped complaining but I didn't stop worrying…

Lily and Remus on the other hand couldn't be happier with the present situation. Lily was twirling around the house all day- as much as a pregnant woman can twirl- and she was telling us all how happy she was that I would finally be able to control myself and get out of my gloomy state. She was absolutely certain that everything was going to work out in the end and that I would turn out to be a great person…

_Ridiculous!!_ I thought with a smile

Remus was more difficult. He was happy that I finally took someone's help and he scowled at Sirius every night telling him not to play me pranks when we were out hunting, leaving James on the verge of tears from laughter…

Poor Remus!! He had apologized for attacking me in the forest over two hundred times and although I told him I wasn't holding any grudges he just wouldn't stop.

He kept apologizing to me about five times the day until I snapped and told him that if he didn't shut his mouth I would drink him dry even if his blood smelled to me like dirt! My words and Remus's surprised expression had James and Sirius rolling in the floor with laughter and Lily chasing them around the living room for waking her up….

In my opinion they were all completely crazy!!!!

Dumbledore had no idea about our little activities. He didn't know that Sirius and James were animagi. They had never told him because Remus always felt ashamed of himself for betraying Dumbledore's trust when he was a student. No other headmaster would have accepted him in the school and all he did in return was to walk around in Hogwart's grounds in his werewolf form with his animagi friends endangering every student in the school.

I could see what he meant although I thought he shouldn't go too harsh on himself; he was a good person, that couldn't really change. And he never bit anyone…. But it was important to him and he felt bad about it so I promised him I wouldn't say anything about it… It would be many years from that moment that I would realize what a serious mistake I had done by promising that…

I hadn't seen Dumbledore and Hagrid for about two weeks. Things had gotten pretty bad out there. The Dark Lord was becoming more dangerous by the minute. I could tell he was looking for something; I just didn't know what and no one would tell me…

I guess that was the reason I had gotten the order to be present in the next deatheaters meeting. Back at the Order's Headquarters everyone had taken the news of my departure patiently. I had gotten ready that morning in a very silent house as Lily's voice and the others laughs had stopped since the previous night that my dark mark burned with fury in my hand. I explained them it meant he wanted to see me too along with the others.

They were gathered in the living room and they said nothing as I was putting on my dark cloak. The atmosphere in the room was burning with everyone's tension and suddenly I was aware that something was very wrong. What was it that they knew and I didn't?

I really had no time to ask them. I had to go; I had marched to the front door but before I could open it Lily had stormed upon me and had me enveloped into a big hug. I hugged her back without stopping to think what I was doing or what was she doing; and then I left….

*************************************************************************************************************

I stood in the perfect circle while absolute silence was reigning. He was angry today; I could tell. Something was very wrong.

He looked up and screamed in frustration and pulled out his wand. We all took a step back. No one was stupid enough to stay close to the Dark Lord while he was in that kind of mood. Mackner was not that fast though; he fell on the ground screaming from the pain the cruciatus curse had caused him.

I tried to avert my eyes from the sight in front of me but I couldn't. Mackner was tossing around with agony but it was not Mackner anymore. It was Lily and then Remus and then James; all my newly made friends were being tortured in front of my eyes.

I could handle that. What I couldn't handle was the pain that the thought of any of them being in that position brought to me…

It stopped.

I came back to present and I saw Mackner lying on the ground again.

The Dark Lord looked at us.

"I want to know where they are!!!"

Where was who??

"Lucius" he said

"My Lord I'm doing my best and I swear I will find out!!" Malfoy said confidently

"That's not good enough!!! I want to know now!!!" he screamed

"Master" said Bellatrix and looked at me evilly

Alarm raised in my head

"Isabella is in the Order of the Phoenix. Maybe she would know!" she continued smiling smugly

_Damn it!!!_

The Dark Lord looked at me

He smiled

"Yes Bella my dear!!" he said an I flinched at the sound of that name

"You are indeed right!! Isabella can help us!!!" he continued coming towards my direction

Sure I could help!!!

He stopped right in front of me and looked deeply into my eyes.

What the hell was this about anyway??

"Isabella, tell me! Do you know where Lily and James Potter are?"

So that's what's been going on! And James and Lily knew!

Meaning that this morning they were tense because they knew he was going to ask me and they thought that I would betray them…

_You will betray them if you know what's best for you!!!! _

I would!! Of course I would!!!!! The problem was that the words just couldn't come out of my mouth… I tried again but I stopped abruptly when a flash of images runned through my mind

_Lily hugging me_

_James offering me his hand_

_Sirius scaring me of in the forest_

_Remus smiling at me_

_Hagrid crushing me in a hug and calling me Belly_

_Dumbledore telling me that I was as good as any other creature in this world_

_Edward smiling his crooked smile at me_

Edward… I just couldn't do this… Lily and James shared a true love; the one couldn't survive without the other…

Exactly the way I thought it was for Edward and me…. Exactly the way it wasn't….

I lifted my gaze of the ground and looked the Dark Lord straight in the eye

_Save yourself!!! Don't think about the others, just save yourself!!!!_ A voice in my head screamed but I shut it out

"No" I replied hard and coldly

"What do you mean no??" he asked angrily and all the other deatheaters took another step back

I held my ground

"No, I don't know where Lily and James Potter are" I answered harshly

The next moment I was lying flat on my back screaming from the agonizing pain…

*************************************************************************************************************

I opened the door with difficulty. I had spent all afternoon being subjected to the cruciatus curse.

_Definitely not good for the bones!!! _

The Headquarters were silent. Were was everyone??

_Maybe they thought you betrayed them and they runned away!!!_ A voice mocked me

_But I didn't….._ I thought

_No, you didn't!!! You idiot!!!!_ Was the answer

A muffled cry got me out of my distraction. It was coming from the basement. What the hell was down there anyway??

I moved forward and started descending the stairs. Lily's scent got stronger there.

I pushed the door open

"Lily?" I asked curiously

"Over here!!" she said and I stepped into the room

"What are you doing?" I asked facing her back

"I'm checking out our supplies" she answered in front of a pile of boxes

"Oh" I said

She didn't answer

"So, where are the others?" I tried again

"They've gone out. Is there something you need?"

"No, just asking" I answered sadly. She really thought I had betrayed them

_Get a grip on yourself!!! You deserve it!!!!_

I turned around to leave. Obviously, my presence was not required. I couldn't help but wonder if James and Sirius were going hunting with me again…

_Probably not…_ I thought

"Izzie?" Lily asked concern lacing in her voice

I turned around

"What?" I asked

"What happened to you?" she asked

"What do you mean?" I asked trying to look oblivious to the fact that I could barely drag my feet to walk.

_Danm!! She noticed!!!!!!_

"You can't walk!!" she said

"Don't be ridiculous!!! Of course I can walk!!!" I answered defensively

I had been the vulnerable one in my human life… There was no way I would put myself in that position ever again!!

"No, you can't!!" she said rushing to my aid as my knees started to give out under my weight

I sat on a counter looking at her stubbornly

"Yes, I can!! I just need some time, that's all!!"

"What happened?"

This time I was the one who gave no answer

"Who did this to you??" she asked again very angrily

"No one did anything to me, Lily!! Calm down!!!"

"No, I won't calm down!!! Tell me what happened!!"

"Alright, alright!!! The Dark Lord was angry and he burst out his anger on me!!! Are you satisfied now??" I snapped angrily

She looked at me on the verge of tears

"Why was he angry?" she whispered

"I don't know" I said and she started crying

What the hell??

"Oh my God, Izzie!!! I'm so sorry!!! It's because of us isn't it?? He asked you where I and James are and you didn't tell him!!!"

"Don't be ridiculous!" I told her

"Admit it!!!" she said through her tears

"Fine!!! I didn't tell him!!! Happy now??" I snapped while aloud bang was heard from the front

The basement's door was shut firmly. Obviously there was some kind of breeze down here.

"Damn it!!" I said "Lily we need to get you out of here!! It's too cold for you!!!"

She wiped her tears and stood the same time I did

"Thank you" she said smiling

I wasn't sure what she was thanking me for…

I marched towards the door and pushed it.

Nothing

I pushed harder

Nothing again

I put all my strength but it just wouldn't open

"What the hell is this?? I'm supposed to be powerful!!!" I complained angrily

"I think the door is magical, Izzie!!!"

"You remembered that now?" I asked her frustrated

"Well, yes!!" she said giggling

"Well?" I said

"Well what?" she asked

"Are you going to hex us out of here sometime today?? I'm only getting older here!!!!" I answered sarcastically

"Yes" she said "About that…"

"About that, what??" I asked suspiciously

What had she done this time??

"I might have forgotten my wand upstairs…" she said with a pleading smirk

I closed my eyes and counted to ten.

"Look at the bright side" she said

"Enlighten me" I answered

"We have chocolate frogs!!" she answered happily

"Lily, I'm sorry to break it to you but I don't eat chocolate frogs" I said grinning and she started laughing so hard

Right then, I caught a very strange sound and looked at Lily who stood frozen.

"What??" I yelled "What is it????"

"Izzie, I think my water's broken" she whispered

"What?" I yelled frantically "What does that mean???"

"I'm going into labor, that's what it means"

_Oh, crap!!!!_

**AN:**** I know!!! Poor Bella!!! Ha ha ha!!! I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it!!! Please review and you'll get the usual sneak peak!!!!!!! Review!!!!!!!!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer:**** I own nothing!!! Only for entertaining reasons so no copy infringement here!!!!!**

**I can't thank you enough, guys!!!! I got sixteen reviews for the last chapter; leave out all of those who added my story in their alerts and favorites lists!!!! I really can't believe you liked it so much!!!! I've never gotten so many reviews before, so I'm really exited about this!!!! So thank you!!!!! Thanks for hanging in there with me!!! I won't keep it longer!!! Here's the next chapter!!! Enjoy!!!**

Chapter 8 – Harry

Lily was lying on the cold floor wrapped in a small blanket. There was nothing else down here.

I had no idea when James and the others would be back. I had no idea how to deliver a baby.

No school ever taught this kind of stuff. No vampire ever birthed a human before.

After many years of emotional coldness and denial, I was absolutely terrified; for Lily, for the baby and for me…

I was good at fighting. I could protect her if the deatheaters attacked her. But how could I ever fight against the small life she had raised inside her for the past nine months??

I had no idea what I was supposed to do…

Lily screamed loud. This was happening the past hour; she would scream, then calm down for a few minutes and then scream painfully again… This time she started tossing around in agony. That couldn't be good for the baby.

Helpless.

She was helpless.

I was helpless.

I did the only thing I thought that would comfort her. The only thing I remembered that comforted me as a human. I smoothed her hair and hummed a tone.

I tried Beethoven

She didn't respond

I tried Mozart

She didn't move

I tried Tchaikovsky

Nothing

I tried more. Paganini, Chopin, Bach…

She kept screaming in pain

I even tried Debussy

The same

I was desperate the very least. What else could I do for her???

_Make her happy…._

I sighed. I closed my eyes and hummed a very familiar tone.

My lullaby… The lullaby that he wrote for me when I was still human… I had no idea I could even remember the tune; I hadn't heard it for over three years… When he left me, he took everything with him… My presents, my music and my heart…

Not that any of it mattered to him!! Not that I would ever try and remember my lullaby, even worst sing it, unless there was a very important reason!!!

Lily was calm. She wasn't tossing around anymore. That was good.

_Now, all I have to do is try and figure out a way to let the others know about this!!_

Right at that moment a breathtaking scent hit my delicate senses.

My eyes turned black and a fire burst on the back of my throat.

Blood.

Human's blood.

Lily's blood.

I couldn't really grasp the latest. All I knew was that I was locked in the basement with a human with amazing scent.

My dark side started to take the lead.

I had saved this woman from the deatheaters just to kill her myself…

I moved closer to her. There was no hurry. She couldn't go anywhere. She couldn't defend herself.

She screamed in agony again.

I was standing in front of her

Her eyes opened and she looked at me. She took in my pitch black eyes and my tensed body almost above her ready to attack. And then she smiled

"I've told you before, Izzie!! You are a good person!!" she said trying to catch her breath from the pain

"No, I'm not" I answered shocked

How could she say this?? I was ready to kill her!!!

"Yes, you are!!! And I trust you to do the right thing!!!" she insisted

_Meaning to kill you!!!_ I thought and took her wrist

"Mouthwatering" I said

"Izzie, you are a better person!!" she said panic evident in her voice

"No, I'm not!!! I told you not to trust me!!!" I answered harshly

She was foolish to trust someone like me; the same way I was foolish to trust someone like him…

_Stupid humans!!!!_

Her eyes widened and then flooded with tears. She looked at me sadly

"You'll really take my baby's life away?? Have you never wanted a family when you were human, Izzie??" she whispered looking at me straight in the eyes

And then it hit me. A very strong image flashed in my mind.

_Rosalie Hale._

Yes, Rosalie Hale. Her perfect face looked at me harshly through my memories.

_Rosalie is jealous of you because you are a human… Because you can have the only thing she never will and she'll always want; a family…._ I heard a velvety voice in my head

I wasn't a human anymore. I couldn't have a family.

It had been too late for Rosalie…

It was too late for me…

But it wasn't too late for Lily…

I snapped out of it.

I left Lily's arm and I tried to support her back.

She smiled

"I told you so!!!" she giggled

I groaned

Her smile widened

"Lily, you need to tell me what to do!" I said worriedly

"And you also need to stop mocking me!!!" I told her angrily

She tried to smile but she couldn't. The pain was getting stronger.

"First of all, get me out of my jeans" she whispered

I held my breath and did quickly as she said

"Now what?"

"Now, I'm not sure!! The healer said we're supposed to count how many minutes pass since the last time I was in pain" she stated calmly

"Minutes?" I asked "Aren't you supposed to be permanently in pain??" I asked confused

Lily giggled

"No, silly!!! When the pain gets permanent and impossible to bear the baby will come!"

"Umm, ok…" I said scared

I hadn't understood a thing she said

Lily screamed harder this time

I spent the next three hours rubbing her back trying to south her pain.

Where the hell were those idiots??? They left a pregnant woman alone to go God knows where!!!!

_Grrrrr!!!!!_

When I got James in my hands he would regret making Lily and I go through this torture!!!

Things had changed the last fifteen minutes. The pain had become permanent and Lily was tossing around in agony. Which meant only one thing; the baby was coming!!!

_Damn it!!!!! Am I the unluckiest person in the world or what???_

Lily was bleeding hard now and my thirst was almost impossible to control. I was trying not to breathe but she was so scared that I couldn't just ignore her. I murmured soothing words trying hard to forget her blood's scent.

"Come on Lily you can do this!!!!" I told her

"Where is James?" she screamed

"He's on his way!!! He'll be here any moment!!! Just hold on!!!" I lied convincingly

_Yeah, hold on, Lily!!!! The baby will definitely need his mother because when his father gets here I'm going to KILL him!!!!!!!!!!!!_

"I don't want to give birth without him!!! I want him to be here!!!" she said with agony

"He will be here!!! Just do as I say and this will be over, Lily!!!" I said panicking again

What was I supposed to do??? Except of course killing those boneheads when they got here!!!!!

She was screaming hard now and the bleeding was getting stronger. The baby was definitely coming.

"Lily, tell me, do you know if it's a boy or a girl??" I asked trying to distract her

"I don't know" she answered with difficulty "I wanted it to be a surprise!!! Is James here??" she asked again

"He'll be here any moment" I lied again

"Now Lily, I want you to push"

"No, no, no!!! I want James first!!!" she screamed

"Lily, the baby is coming!!! You need to push!!!" I told her scared

"No!!!" she screamed again

"Listen to me!! You love this baby!!! Don't you want it to come into this world without being in pain???" I asked

Actually I had no idea if the baby was in pain but I had to make her cooperate and I really couldn't think of anything else!!!!

"Yes" she whispered

"James is on his way, I promise!!! Please Lily push!!!!" I begged

She pushed and screamed in agony. I could see the head.

"Again" I ordered

She pushed again and the baby's little body was out too.

There was a loud bang on the door.

"Come on, Lily!!! You've almost done it!!! One last time!! Push!!!" I said and the baby was on my hands as a frantic James was running towards us

I gave Lily the baby

"You have a son" I told her

The next second Remus had me pinned on the ground.

That wasn't necessary. Not once I thought about my thirst while I delivered the baby.

I had delivered a baby. I had actually delivered a baby!!!

_Owwwww!!!_

James was frantic from happiness; he was hugging his wife apologizing for not being there, he was looking the baby like a fool and he was looking at me stunned.

"Remus, can you get of me before I send you flying to the other side of the room???" I growled at him

Sirius was grinning like an idiot.

Remus looked at me with his eyes wide.

"You're not supposed to be able to take this" he said awed

"Well, I am!" I answered

"I told you all before, Remus!!! Lily is a good person!!!" Lily said tiredly from her spot on the floor

"Wait 'till I get your beloved husband in my hands and you'll see how great of person I am!!!!" I answered angrily

James smiled

"I'm sorry, Izzie!!! I should have been here" he apologized

"If you think you're getting away with an "I'm sorry" you're really wrong James Potter!!!" I answered and Sirius grinned even more

"I'll definitely take the match!!!!" he said

"Enough with your fights!!!" said Remus

"Have you thought a name about your son??" he asked smiling tenderly to Lily

"Yes, we have" she answered

"If it was a girl we would name her Emma, but now that it's a boy we'll name him Harry!!" Lily told us happily

"Harry" James said and Sirius smile widened

_Harry…._

**AN:**** I'm sorry if the birth part is not very realistic!!! I'm really clueless on the matter!!! SO, Harry's in the story!!! Yey!!! I'm happy I got here!!! It will get very interesting from now on!!!!! Anyway, reviews always make me happy!!! And it makes you happy also 'cause you get to have the next chapters sneak peak!!! So please, review!!!!!!!**


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer:**** I own nothing just my imagination!!! No copy infringement; only for entertaining reasons!!!**

**Thanks again for your support, you guys!!!! So, I've set up a poll for you in my profile!!! See, I decided that I afford the time to write a new story so there are two summaries and you get to choose which story you would like better!!!! So, please visit my profile page and vote!!!! And now… on with the next chapter!!!! Enjoy!!!**

Chapter 9 – The oldest story in the world

I was looking out the window as rain was falling hard on the ground. Weather was always gloomy in the English countryside but this was the rainiest summer that the whole country had ever seen in the past fifty years, according always to Dumbledore.

It had been a difficult summer. I had lost a master and I had found some friends. I had lost my faith in love but now I was starting to believe again…

I really had no other option… The sight of Lily and James along with their little son was formidable. Lily was glowing from happiness, James seemed more relaxed now and little Harry…

Little Harry….

Never in my immortal life I thought I could ever feel this dedication and love towards another creature like little Harry. But I did. I loved that kid with every ounce of my existence and that said a lot considering how long I could exist…

He was perfect and I was in an emotional state that I swore I would never be in again. Dazzled. Absolutely and irrevocably dazzled by that little man!

I would die willingly for him. I would always protect him. I would do anything for him….

Had I gone crazy??

Possibly…

Did I care?

Not at all….

Remus, Sirius and Hagrid were in a better state than I was. They were going crazy all over Harry too but not as much as I did…

I had delivered him into this world and that had created a bond between us that I had no way to break. So, I fully intended to live with it…

Dumbledore was very happy with the way things evolved. He was happy for Lily and James, he was hopeful for me and he was completely in love with Harry just like the rest of us!!!

Currently, the little miracle was sleeping peacefully and we were all relaxing in the living room. James and Lily were cuddling in the sofa while Remus and Sirius were playing wizard's chess. Needless to say, Remus was winning; again!

"So, what's the news?" Lily asked

"Two deatheaters attacks. Voldemort is nowhere to be seen" answered James silently

"He's around here somewhere!! I mean where else could the scumbug be?" Sirius answered

"He doesn't necessarily stays in one place" I said

"What do you mean?" James asked

"Well, he travels… He never says when and where but he does" I replied

"How often?" Remus asked seriously

"Two maybe three times a year. But he stays away for some time." I said to him

"Where could he be?" Lily said

"Honestly, Lily, I have no idea!!! For all I know he could be anywhere!!!"

"But how do you know that he goes out of country when he's not there?" Remus asked curiously

"Well, I know cause I kind of met him in one of those trips" I replied quietly

"What do you mean? Where?" Lily asked stunned

"In Canada"

"Huh?" Sirius said

"I met him in Canada and he forced me to go with him when he figured he couldn't use legilimensy on me" I told them quickly

They were all looking at me with wide eyes.

"I'm not lying" I told them

"Of course not!" Lily said reassuringly

"But why on earth was he there?" Remus asked stunned

"I don't know. I don't remember much; just the pain" I answered

"So what were you doing there?" Sirius asked

"My old home was close by" I told them sadly

"You know, Izzie, now that you can control yourself you could go back" said Remus

"I could but I don't want to" I declared firmly

Lily sighed and James rubbed her back soothingly

"What?" I asked

"Well, Iz it's just that you never told us anything about your past!" Sirius answered my question

The others looked at him angrily

"What?" he said

"Oh, pady!!! You are tactless!!!" Lily said desperately and I smiled

"It's true" I said

"I haven't told you anything about my past because for the past two years I've been trying hard not to think about it!!!"

"So, there was something wrong!!!" Sirius shouted again and the others sighed

"Yes, there was!!" I answered

"So will you tell us??" Sirius asked eagerly

Lily slapped him on his arm

"What now??" he asked confused

"Maybe she doesn't want to tell us, mate!!!" answered Remus exasperated

"No, but maybe she should" said James silently

"James Potter!!!" Lily said angrily

"Izzie, I owe you, I really do!!!" he said looking only at me

"We are friends I think?" he continued

"Yes" I answered immediately

"You know our stories" he said again

"Yes" I answered

"I want to know your story now!" he told me silently

I looked at the others; they were all very silent.

This was important. They had helped me, I had heard their stories and saved their lives but I had never trusted them with my biggest secret; my past. They knew this; the next words that would come out of my mouth would define what kind of relationship we would have….

"Alright" I said

They all smiled reassuringly. I went and took a seat in the armchair across the sofa.

"When I was a human I lived in Phoenix" I said

"But that's not close to Canada" Sirius told me. This time both Lily and Remus slapped him on his arms

"What?" he said

"Shut up!!!" Remus, James and Lily told him

I smiled and continued

"My parents were divorced. When I turned seventeen my mother remarried. Phil was a nice guy and she was happy with him except the fact that he travelled a lot. My mum couldn't go with him…"

"Because you were still in school" Remus guessed and I nodded

"I decided I was a burden and that I needed to spend some quality time with my father before going to college. So, I moved in with him in Forks, Washington."

"You left?" Lily asked stunned and I nodded again

"And your mother accepted it?" she asked again

"It was my decision. She really couldn't do anything. And she was never the type of mother that really knew how to take care of her child." I answered and she sighed

"So you moved in with your father." Remus said

"Yes and I enrolled in the local high school. I guess you can say that was when the downfall started."

"What do you mean?" James asked

"I'll explain myself. The first day I got to the school everyone's attention was on me. I wasn't happy at all…" I answered

"Yeah, we figured that ourselves!" Sirius said chuckling

I smiled and continued

"I was being drugged in every class by a possible admirer. Even in lunch there was a crowd around me."

Sirius guffawed at this and Remus smiled

"That was when I met them." I said my good mood suddenly gone

"Met who?" James asked seriously

"The… The Cullens" I stuttered

"Who are the Cullens?" Sirius asked curiously

"Let me go on with the story and you'll understand" I replied quietly

"Alright" they said all together

"They were sitting in a table across the hall with trays with untouched food inside them. They were pale and they all had golden eyes."

At this everyone tensed

"They were the foster kids of Doctor Carlisle and Mrs. Esme Cullen; Jasper and Rosalie Hale, Emmet Cullen, A… Alice Cullen and…."

"And?" Lily asked

"And Edward Cullen" I answered quickly

"So what happened?" Sirius asked carefully

"He and I had biology together. He acted as if he hated me although he never knew me. When the class was over he tried to switch classes but he couldn't so he run away."

"What do you mean?" James asked

"He didn't show up in school for a respectful amount of days"

"But he came back" Lily said; it was not a question

"Yes, he came back. There was an accident." I told them

"What kind of accident?" Remus said

"A van almost crashed me in the parking lot. He knocked me out of the way."

"So what was the problem?" Lily asked and I was surprised again with how well she knew me

"He stopped the van with his hand" I replied quietly

"Wonderful!" said Sirius sarcastically

"Yeah, well I figured there was something wrong but he just wouldn't talk to me anymore."

"Until?" Lily asked

"Until one day he told me he shouldn't be my friend but he just couldn't stay away." I told her and James hissed

"Anyway, we started hanging out together"

"You must have been crazy!!!" Remus told me angrily

"I didn't know what he was!" I stated simply

"You knew he was dangerous!!!" he told me again

"Remus!" Lily told him "Go on, Izzie!!"

"I had a friend in the La Push reservation. Jacob Black. His tribe was supposed to be descended from wolves." I said and Remus looked taken aback

"He told me what the Cullens were."

"And?" Sirius asked

"And I decided I didn't care!"

"What?" Remus said and James sighed; he seemed to understand what I was talking about

"We got together"

"You got together with a vampire!! Izzie, you were human you were supposed to be normal!!!" Remus shouted

"You know you sound just like him!!!" I answered angrily

_I'm no good for you, Bella…._

"Of course he does!!! He always had low self esteem…" Sirius said and then he asked me

"Did he tell you why he acted like that when he first met you?"

"Yes, it was my scent. It was stronger for him than any other human's!" I answered

"Jesus Christ!!!!" said Remus furiously

"Go on" James told me seriously

"We went to play baseball with his family and…"

"How did his family took it?" Lily asked

"His parents Carlisle and Esme were happy for him. Emmet and Alice liked me; we became friends. Jasper… Well, he was the latest add in their diet so he kept his distance from me. And Rosalie…. She was reasonable, I guess. She wasn't happy at all with my presence; she thought I didn't belong there. I couldn't appreciate her opinion until now, really." I told them

"Why…" Sirius asked but Lily cut him

"Go on"

"We went to play baseball. Three other vampires found us. James, Laurent and Victoria; needless to say they weren't vegetarians. James was their leader, ironic isn't it? He decided to kill me just to disturb Edward." I said

"What happened?" James asked

"A chase began with me as a prize. Anyway, the thing is that he almost killed me but the Cullens got to me the last minute and they killed James. He had bitten me however."

"So that's how you became a vampire?" Sirius asked curiously

"No" I answered

"But he bit you" Remus said

"Yes, and he, Edward sucked the venom out!"

"Oh, my God!!! But you were his singer, Izzie!!" Lily shouted amazed

"Yeah, I know…"

"So what went wrong?" James asked

"Everything" I answered

"What do you mean?" Remus asked

"There had been about three months since that fight. It was my birthday."

"Shouldn't that be a festive occasion?" Sirius asked

"It was at first. I was in their house opening my presents."

"And?" they all asked

"And I slid my hand with the paper" I replied simply

"Oh, crap!!" Sirius shouted

"What happened?" Remus asked worried

"Jasper attacked me"

Lily gasped

"Edward protected me. But I fell and cut my arm. Anyway, Carlisle tended me and sent me home."

"So no harm done, right?" Sirius asked again

"No harm done? She could have died!!!" Remus said

"I wish I had" I told them silently

"Don't say that, Izzie!" Lily said with wide eyes

"Go on" James asked

"A few days after that he asked to go for a walk."

"And?" Remus asked me as if knowing what he would hear

"And he told me that he was leaving."

_Bella, we're leaving._

_When you say we…?_

_I mean my family and I…._

"He could have waited until you finished school!" Lily observed quietly and I looked at her surprised

"No, he couldn't. I wasn't supposed to go with them." I told her

"What Do You Mean?" she said anger evident in her voice

"I mean that he and his family were leaving!" I answered

"Without you?" Sirius asked me stunned and I nodded

"What exactly did he say to you?" he asked

"He said that he was tired of pretending to be a human because he was not and that he didn't want me to go with him."

_You don't want me?_

_No._

"Are you sure you understood correctly?" Sirius asked incredulity lacing in his voice

_It will be as if I never existed._

"Yes" I answered

"What about the others?" James asked

"They were already gone." I answered

"Without saying goodbye?" Sirius asked wide eyed; I nodded and then the explosion happened

"How dare they??? How dare he???? After everything you went through to be with him???? How dare he leave you like this????" Lily was on her feet her red hair going to all directions shouting to the top of her lungs!!

"Hush, Lily you'll wake the baby!!" I said

"No, I won't hush!!! Wait until I get him in my hands!!!!!!!" she screamed

"Lily calm down!!! It was three years ago!!!!" I told her

"I don't care!!! He deserves to be tortured until the next century!!!!"

"Lily" James said quietly "Calm down!! Izzie hasn't told us yet how she became a vampire!" he told her hugging her from the back and placing her on his lap

I sighed and continued

"For four months I was depressed. My parents were in the verge of locking me in an asylum."

"But you came around?" Remus asked

"Yes, I did. Jacob was a good friend he helped through it. Of course he had no idea that the legend he once told me in the beach about the Cold Ones was true. He just thought I was recovering from a bad break up." I told them sadly

"So what lead to this?" asked Sirius pointing at me

"For a reason I couldn't comprehend back then Jacob suddenly stopped talking to me. At the time we were searching for a meadow that Edward and I used to go. Of course Jacob didn't know that. I wasn't talking about Edward Cullen to anyone; I was broken beyond repair…"

"So Jacob stopped talking to you before you found the meadow?" James asked

"Yes, but I didn't quit. I was determined to find it." I replied

"Let me guess!!! You found it in the end!!" Remus stated

"Yes, I did. I stepped in and I knew I couldn't take another step so I turned around to leave."

"But you didn't" Lily said

"No. I met someone."

"Who? Edward? The Cullens?" Sirius asked smiling

"Laurent" I answered quietly and everyone gasped

"Oh, my God!!! What did he want, Izzie???" Lily asked scared

"He was looking for me as a favor to Victoria. You see, James was her mate and Edward killed him so she decided it was more fair if she killed me."

"How is that possible?" Sirius asked completely stunned

"Isn't it obvious, padfoot? A mate for a mate…" James replied

"Yes, that was what she thought too. What she didn't count was that Laurent was very thirsty when he found me in the woods."

"He attacked you" Remus said

"Yes"

"You could have died" Lily whispered

"She should have died!!" Remus told her

"What happened?" James asked

"Remember the tribe's legend I told you about?" I asked and they all nodded

"Well, it was true"

"You mean your friend Jacob was a werewolf?" Remus asked

"Not exactly Remus. You see he could transform in the middle of the day which makes me assume he was more of a shape shifter than a real werewolf."

"Well, Dumbledore would be interested!!!" he said

"I bet!" I answered

"So what happened?" James asked

"They killed Laurent but it was too late for me, I was already bitten!"

I sighed

"They sat in a circle around me for three days waiting for the transformation to complete. They believed they had an obligation towards my father. When I woke up after three days of burning they told me that I was banned forthwith from Forks for eternity. I was not allowed to go anywhere near my father again even if I learned how to control myself. In their opinion and especially Jacob's, I brought this all on myself because I just couldn't be normal!"

I looked at the empty fire place

"So, I left. You know the rest."

Silence was reigning in the room. No one was talking. Lily was crying silently in James's chest. Both James and Sirius looked angry and disappointed. Remus was sad.

"Izzie, have you ever thought that maybe he left because he wanted you to have a normal life?" Remus asked suddenly

"What?" I asked stunned

"Maybe he felt guilty about taking away from you all your connections with the human world. Maybe the incident at the party reminded him how difficult things were for you two and that he was putting you in constant danger."

"Remus..." I said while Sirius was saying "And he run away? Very mature!!!"

"But think about it!! It makes sense" Remus insisted

"No, it doesn't!!!" I snapped

"I had made my choice. I would leave everything behind willingly because HE was the very best part of my life!!!"

"Nothing went as it was supposed to go…" James sighed sadly

"Izzie, being bitten doesn't necessarily show he didn't care for her!! Possibly he didn't consider the aspect of Laurent and Victoria coming back!!" Remus shouted

"Why are you siding up with him??" I asked angrily

"Because in a situation like the one you just described, Izzie, he would do exactly the same!" Sirius said

"Of course I would!!!" he snapped angrily

"No, human deserves a monster!!!"

Lily got up quickly and went over to him

"You are not a monster and neither is Izzie!!!! You are both good people who deserve to be happy!! As for Edward Cullen and his family they better not get anywhere near you again!!!!" she said furiously

I sighed

"I'm sorry to upset you, Izzie" said Remus

"That's ok!" I answered

"Tell us about you life with the deatheaters" he said

I explained them how things have been with Dark Lord and the other deatheaters. I explained them that me being bad was only for my survival and not because I shared the vision of a world conquered by my old master.

By the end of the conversation it was almost morning. Harry would wake up soon.

"You should go to bed!! You need your rest" I told Lily and James

Lily smiled and she looked at James; he nodded

"You know, Izzie, I've been meaning to ask you something for the past days!" she said exited

"Shoot" I told her

"Well, Harry is growing up!!" she started

Did she think I was blind?

"Obviously!" I answered

"And he needs people to take care of him!" she continued

"More than they already do?" I asked curiously

Weren't we enough? I mean he was only a baby after all!!!

"Yes!! I mean no!!!" she said

"What Lily is trying to ask you for the past century…" James intervened mockingly and she huffed

"…Is that if you want to be our son's godmother!!" he continued

What???????

"Huh??" was the only thing I said

"Oh, Izzie!!! You delivered him!!!! You love him!!! Please you are perfect for the job!!!!!" Lily said anxiously

"I'm also a vampire in case you two haven't noticed!!!" I told them

"Since when did that stopped them??" Remus asked sarcastically

"Oh, come on, Izzie!!! Sirius already said yes!!!!" Lily begged

"You're going to be the godfather?" I asked

"Yeap!!! Someone's got to teach that kid a couple of useful things to know!!!" he answered with a goofy grin and I narrowed my eyes at him

Honestly, Sirius??? Couldn't they find someone quiter??? He would turn little Harry into a gangster!!!!!

"Alright!!!" I said "Someone's got to teach the kid some manners!!!" I complied and Lily shrieked crashing me into a hug

"Didn't I just said that, Swan?" Sirius asked me

"Didn't you mean me by that, Black?" I teased back and Lily giggled

"Oh, great!!! Now they won't stop fighting!!!" James whined and we all laughed

I was happy. After three depressing years I was happy; maybe not whole but definitely happy!!!

I looked at the faces of my family as they stood there laughing and I knew I was home….

**AN: ****Ok, that was it!!!!!! Huge chapter!!! I hope you liked it!!! Review and you'll get the usual preview of the next chapter!!!! Oh, and don't forget the poll in my profile about my next story!!! Hit the green button!!!!!!!!**


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer:**** I own nothing. No copy infringement just for entertaining reasons……**

**I watched new moon's sneak peak!!!! Yey!!!! I loved it!!! New moon is by far my favorite book so I'm really happy!!!!! **

**Anyway, thanks for the support, you guys!!! I wasn't going to update so soon but I got the feeling that you would probably hate me if I didn't!!!! I feel like I should warn you though, I love this chapter which probably means you'll hate it!!!! Ha ha ha!!! Enjoy!!!!**

Chapter 10 – The end

Autumn had come with the rain. It had been over than a year that my life had changed dramatically. James and Lily were currently hiding in their home in Godric's hollow under the protection of the fidelius charm. Dumbledore had discovered this rather strange spell in one of his precious books.

_I swear the man will get overloaded from too much reading__…._

I hadn't read for four years. I felt no such need. All the books I had read until I turned seventeen were talking about the greatness of love.

_Bullshit._

Remus on the other hand thought no such thing. He was trying hard to cure me from my "problem" as he liked to call it for the past year. He was gathering piles of books for me to read.

No need to say, I was not happy. However, I never said no to him. He was too happy thinking he could help me so I really couldn't spoil it for him.

Eventually, I had figured out that it was about him too. Remus felt better than a monster when I was around. He had found someone that could understand how he felt about himself better than anyone. In me, Remus had found a friend.

In him, I had found my mentor. He would help me, guide me, listen to me and understand me. He was there for me in every way that mattered. In a way he was like Carlisle; kind and caring. The difference was that Remus was there for me at a time that no one else would be while my long lost father had abandoned me in the first test of his love for me.

I sighed and tried to think of something else.

Peter Pettigrew was the last of the gang that I had met. He didn't talk much. He just looked at me with fear. Who could blame the poor man, really? Any reasonable person would be afraid of me with the rumors that were spread around my name. Of course Sirius found it very funny to tell me that if I stayed in the same room with Peter for a little more he would probably wet his pants…

His observation had quite an impact. Peter blushed ashamed, James went into hysterics and Sirius earned a glare from Remus and a slap in the arm from Lily. Needless to say, afterwards he asked what he had done this time.

I was very amused. Sirius was like my big brother. He loved me in his own special way and I loved him back. To him everything was about getting us in trouble; something, I must admit, that I really enjoyed doing. On the other hand, Remus was not at all happy when he had to look for his wand in the entire house just to find it inside the jar filled with Lily's favorite jam.

Sirius was more like Emmet. Hagrid had a resemblance in his character with Emmet's but not as much as Sirius. That didn't make me feel better. On the contrary, I felt nervous.

Was it a good thing that I had started replacing my old family with a new one?

For four years I've been keeping them alive in my memory because I knew that if they existed somewhere out there, he would too. And that meant there was hope. Hope that I would see him once again, even from afar, just to believe again he once existed into my life.

I was scared. Scared to let go. Let them go. Let him go.

But maybe I had no choice. There were new people in my life now. People who loved me and cared for me. People who deserved to love them back. A family. But most of all, I had Harry….

That little guy was the centre of my universe. Nothing was right when Harry was sad. So I had made it the purpose of my existence to make him happy. And he really had me there; he could make me do practically everything he wanted if that meant I would see him smile. James was in no better fate than mine; he was enchanted. Lily on the other hand, was pouting all the time telling us how we would make her baby a very bad spoiled kid when he grew up if we kept this up.

Ha!!! As if Harry could ever be anything but the perfect child he already was!!!

Yeah, I really had it bad!!

Hey, I loved him!! I could never have children of my own so he had simply become my child. I never really thought I had it in me; loving a kid so much… We celebrated his birthday last July; I was amazed and scared at the same time. He had become one year old. To me though, it had only seemed like a moment had passed since his birth; he was growing up so fast!

He was a little miracle!!

So that's how life had been until today; full of Harry.

The Dark Lord had kept up the search for the Potters. Each time I could not help him. Each time he attacked me. I didn't mind though; they deserved it. Harry deserved it….

I was not worried. The fidelius charm was powerful. Nobody could break it. Nobody except Sirius who kept it. But honestly, Sirius would never do something like that to his friends.

_Let the Dark Lord search forever_, I thought and chuckled

Bellatrix looked at me curiously

"What's so funny?" she asked

"Nothing, I was just wondering where is it that you have your haircut. You certainly seem a little taken by the wind!!!" I snickered

"Why you little…" she started pulling out her wand but Malfoy stopped her.

"Does anyone know why we haven't started yet?" I asked

"The Dark Lord left" Narcissa Malfoy answered my question

"Oh" I said and Bellatrix smiled smugly at me.

What was it this time?

"What?" I asked confused

"Obviously, you don't know!!" she told me

"Know what?" I asked again

"Why the Dark Lord left" she replied

"Why don't you enlighten me then, bitch?" I told her angrily

"One day…" she said threat evident in her voice

"Bellatrix, we don't need more of your fights!!!!" Malfoy snapped

"So will anyone tell me why he left?" I insisted. Something was wrong he had never left a meeting before.

"Well, Isabella, the Dark Lord received certain information!" Malfoy told me

"About what?" I asked dreading the answer

"The Potters" he replied simply

"What about them?" I asked

"You know how he' been trying to find out where they're hiding" he answered

"Yes" I whispered

"Well, he found out" Malfoy told me calmly

I tried to speak but no sound came out as I was processing his words. He knew. The Dark Lord had found out how to get to Lily and James. He was heading there. He was heading to Lily and James's house. He would find them there. He would find Harry there.

"Are you sure?" was all I managed to whisper

"Yes" said Malfoy eyeing me curiously

With that I was out the door.

************************************************************************************************************

_Please, don't make it too late!!!!!!!!!_ I thought while running as fast as I could

_Please, don't make it too late!!_

_Please, don't make it too late!!_

_Please, don't make it too late!!_

_Please, don't make it too late!!_

Lily was holding a giggling Harry.

James and I were fighting over Harry about who was going to feed him.

Sirius was tickling Harry.

Remus was reading him to sleep.

I was holding Harry in my hands as he was watching in genuine curiosity my sparkling skin.

James and Lily were kissing over Harry's birthday cake.

_Oh, my God!!! Oh, my God!!!!_

The memories were flashing fast in my mind. This just couldn't happen!! Not to them, not again!!! I couldn't loose my family again!!!

I was just outside Godric's hollow now. I would get there in time to get them out. Everything would be fine. I could do this. They saved me; now I would save them!

Too late….

It had been too late….

That was my only thought as I stood outside of what was once a home. Their home. My home.

There was nothing. Nothing but ruins….

But James and Lily were smart; of course they would have left before he could get to them. This was just a house; we could make a new one…

Right?

I walked in, sure that I would find nothing.

I was wrong…

Wrong again, because here in front of me was laying no other than my brother, James Potter.

No. No, no, no!!! This couldn't be happening!! James couldn't die!!!

"James?" I whispered

No answer…

Why wasn't he answering to me??

Where was Lily?

Of course she wasn't here…. She had left with Harry… He had only gotten to James… He had saved them….

I heard a muffled cry and turned myself towards the sound. It was a baby's cry…

Harry?

I run to the other side of the ruins and found him clutching desperately his mother's hand.

His dead mother's hand…

No way!!! She was just faking!!!! There was no other explanation!!!

Yes!!! Lily and James were faking to be dead!!!

I lifted Harry to my embrace and shushed him while I was kneeling beside her.

"Lily?" I told her

She didn't answer

"Lily??" I asked louder

Nothing.

"Lily???" I screamed next to her

She wouldn't answer to me…

"You can't die!!! You can't leave me!!! You said you wouldn't leave me!!!" I was screaming in the top of my lungs and Harry started crying harder in my arms.

I felt a hand in my shoulder.

"She can't hear you, Bella…" Hagrid told me. He always called me Bella when he wanted to say something serious.

"No!!!" I told him

"She can hear me!!! She will answer to me!!!" I shouted

"Bella, she's dead" Hagrid told me his voice breaking

"No!!!"

"She can't die!!! She can't leave me!!!!" I screamed clutching Harry tighter to my chest

"Bella, please let me take Harry" Hagrid said

Take Harry??? No, not Harry too!!!

"No!!!" I growled

"Izzie" another voice whispered

"Let Hagrid take Harry, you're hurting him" Remus told me

"No!!!" I said again

_Please Izzie, let them have him…._ a voice whispered to me

My hands fell to my sides as Hagrid was removing the baby from my grasp

_Thank you, Izzie…._ She told me

_You're welcome, Lily_… I thought as waves of pain shot through me pulling me down with them in darkness….

I knew this time I would not resurface….

**AN:**** It's sad, I know… So I won't say much… Please review and you'll get the usual sneak peak… Don't forget to vote in the poll in my page… Tell me what you think….**


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author of this fan fiction is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended, ****only for entertaining reasons… This story is rated T.**

**Thanks a million, to all of those who supported this story so far!!!! It means a lot to me to know that you like it so much!!! Your reviews are really a great motivation for me to write!!! I also want to thank all those who voted in the poll for my next story!!! Thanks guys!!!! Those of you who haven't voted yet please do!!!! I won't keep you any longer!!! Here's chapter 11… Enjoy!!!**

Chapter 11 – Goodbye

The world had stopped spinning. Time had stopped moving. And they should have. It was the only fair thing that could happen, because Lily and James Potter were no longer alive.

That was the truth. A truth that my heart kept screaming at me but my mind couldn't accept; because if it did it would mean that I would never get to see them again…. My brother…. My sister… My family….

How could they be gone forever?

How could I ever manage without them?

How would Harry manage without his parents?

I couldn't handle it. I couldn't process anything I had been told after the night I found them. I was useless.

Hagrid had dragged me in the funeral. Remus was too much of a wreck to do anything himself. I stood there motionless looking at their bodies and hearing useless speeches about how great people Lily and James were.

As if I didn't know, as if I could ever forget…

There was one thing though that I had noticed even in my daze.

He wasn't there.

Sirius Black was not there.

If there was a person filled with hatred towards another person that would be me. How could he?? How dared he?? He was their friend!! He was my friend!!! He was Harry's godfather!!!!

All this time they were afraid I would betray them!!

I was afraid I would betray them!!!

I was subjected to constant torture just for him to kill them by saying two little words; Godric's hollow.

I would have killed him but I thought of Harry; wasn't it enough when he would learn about his godfather's treason over his parents? Adding a murder of my own in the equation would definitely not help things….

The thing was that my anger was not at all gone but I felt slightly better at the thought that for the time being he was locked up in Azkaban.

_I hope he enjoys the stay__!!! The dementors will definitely help!!!!_ I thought evilly

The rest of the funeral had gone by without me noticing; I was too lost in my half bitter and half crazed thoughts. I had lost a family again but this time it was even worst because my loved ones were ripped apart from me against their wills. I knew they loved me and they knew I loved them but that really gave me no comfort; if possible, I felt even worst…

A week had passed since the day the funeral was held and I still couldn't think clearly. All I knew was that I resided in Hogwarts. Where Harry was and how he had been without his parents I did not know; although I hoped that Remus was in a little better state than mine and that he could take care of him.

It was funny… Everyone was surprised with Harry's achievement; I wasn't. He was a special kid; of course he would do great things… My need to see my godson was growing. My worry for his welfare was shadowing my grief. Dumbledore had asked to see me in his office; after that I could attempt a visit to Harry….

I knocked the door steadily and waited.

"Come in" came the answer and I turned the handle

Dumbledore was sitting in his office studying me with his piercing blue gaze.

"Good afternoon, Bella" he said formally. He had never called me Bella before

"Please have a seat" he asked politely

I nodded my head in response.

"How are you feeling today?" he asked

"Same" I answered back

He sighed

"Bella, you can't keep doing this to yourself!!!" he told me decisively

"I have never heard of a vampire being sick before but I swear you're in the verge of both mental and physical breakdown!" he continued

"I'm fine" I whispered

"No, you're not!!" he replied

"This won't bring them back to us!!" he continued

"What will?" I asked sadly

"Bella, they're dead! Noone not even you can defeat death!" he told me his voice laced with exhaustion

"I'm not dying though… I'm not even aging…" I told him silently

"That's different"

"Because I'm a monster?" I asked him broken

"You are not a monster!!!!" Dumbledore said loudly

"If nothing else you have proved to everyone who ever doubted that vampires are not bloodthirsty killers but creatures with the ability to love and suffer just as any ordinary human!!!" he continued heatedly

I sighed

"Bella" he said "You are not the monster in this story!"

"Why do you call me that?" I asked him curious

"Call you what?" he asked surprised

"B… Bella" I replied

"Well, Isabella is your deatheater name. Izzie… well you know…." He said his voice breaking

"Anyway, I prefer Bella. It suits you." he told me silently

"It's my human name" I whispered

"Yes, I know" he said looking down

"You know?" I asked confused

"I know" he answered

"James explained me everything about your past and how you became a deatheater" he finished

"Oh" was the only thing I could say

"He wanted to make sure that someone would look after you, if he and Lily…." his voice faded

I nodded my head to acknowledge his words but I couldn't look up. I couldn't say anything to this….

"Bella, I really don't know what to say to you!" Dumbledore sighed

"You don't need to say anything" I told him

"When you first came into this office I thought that maybe just maybe I could have you on my side- and you have no idea how important that was at the time – but not for once I thought that things could turn out this way for you." He said sadly

"It's not your fault" I told him

It wasn't his fault. It was mine. I tried to have a family again although I should have known by then that that was impossible for me. My first family was torn apart when I was a baby, my second family left me and my third was taken away from me in the most vicious way.

I should have known….

"It was not my fault that you made friends and you loved them, Bella; but it was my fault that I didn't insist on being the keeper of the fidelius charm. None of this would have happened." He answered sadly

I nodded my head

"We need to talk. I need to explain you some things and you need to make some decisions" he said regaining his composure

"I suppose you mean Harry" I told him

"Yes" he said eyeing me worriedly

"Is there something wrong with him?" I asked panicking

"Harry is fine. You need to understand, Bella I will do anything in my power to protect that child" he told me

"Why are you saying this to me?" I asked not understanding what he meant

"Because you know as well as I do this is not over" he answered

"Voldemort will come back one day" he continued

"Yes" I said

"You know how his mind works, Bella. When he comes back he will go after Harry" he told me

"I will stop him" I stated

"No!!" he said "It is great need that you keep up your deatheater disguise" he told me

"And leave Harry unprotected?" I asked him angrily

"Harry is not unprotected" he declared

"What the hell are you talking about, Dumbledore? Where is Harry?" I shouted jumping on my feet

"Bella, calm down" he said

"No, I won't calm down!!! Where is my godson???" I screamed

"He is with the only family he is left" he replied

"I am the only family he is left!!!" I told him snarling

"Family by blood, Bella" he answered calmly

_Family by blood??? What the hell?? _I thought and then my eyes widened

"You didn't, old man!!!" I growled

"Bella…" he said worriedly

"You didn't gave Lily's son to that woman!!!" I told him again

"That woman is his aunt, Bella!" he insisted

"Who hated his mother's guts!!!" I replied

"Bella please…" he said

"Lily told me all about her! She is cruel and she hates anything that is not normal!"

"Bella, Harry needs to stay away from all of this mess until he is ready!!!

"You are asking me to leave my godson in her filthy hands for the first eleven years of his life???" I growled again

"Yes" was the only reply I got

"Why, Dumbledore? Tell me why I should leave the only reason for my existence to be treated unfairly and live unhappily while I can offer him a home that he will not be raised as a burden!!!! Give me a good reason why I shouldn't get him out of there right this instant!!!!" I screamed at him frustrated

"Because I've cast a spell" he said sighing

"You've cast a spell. You've cast a spell??? And how will that stop me???" I asked angrily

"Bella, please sit down and let me explain" he said tiredly

"You better explain!!" I snarled

He sighed

"You need to understand that whatever I do it's for Harry's sake" he started

"In that case we have a very different opinion as to what is Harry's sake!" I cut him

"Bella, I know you're hurting but you need to listen to me" he said frustrated

I motioned him to continue. I really didn't trust myself to speak right now…

"Bella, do you know how Lily died?" he asked me

What kind of question was that??

"Of course I know Dumbledore!!! I was there!!!!" I answered angrily

"You misunderstood me" was the only thing he said

"I meant to ask you if you are aware of the circumstances under which she died?"

"You're asking me if I can describe you the way she was murdered?" I asked stunned.

"Yes"

"I seriously have no idea!!! And I'm not sure I want to know either!!!" I answered

What was his problem??? Was he trying to torture me??

"It is important for you to know because Lily's death is the key to everything!" he answered calmly

"Enlighten me, oh-great one!!!!" I answered sarcastically

He sighed

"She didn't fight, Bella" he told me seriously

"What do you mean??" I asked afraid of the answer

"She didn't battle against Lord Voldemort" he said again

I was frozen. How could he say that so lightly?? How could he stand there and tell me that she had thrown her life away???

"I don't believe you!!!!!" I shouted

"I won't believe you!!! She loved Harry, she would have fought for him, she would have fought for her life!!!!"

"Bella, she didn't do anything!!" he insisted. I tried to answer but he cut me of

"Let me finish!! She didn't put up a fight and that was what saved little Harry at the first place!" he said

"I don't understand" I whispered

"Lily gave away her life to save her son, Bella. That kind of sacrifice leaves a mark." I cut him of

"You mean the one in his forehead?" I asked him

"That is the visible, Bella! I'm talking about the one that cannot be seen. You have a few of those yourself…" he smiled at me

"I don't understand" I told him confused

"It's love, Bella. Love. Lily loved her son and that very love saved him. That's the only kind of love that leaves a mark, the very mark that now exists in Harry's blood! The same mark that exists in you, because Lily loved you too! The same mark that exists in your Edward because of your love for him!" he told me quietly

I put my head in my hands. The pain was consuming me. Lily always believed in love. Lily saved her only son because of her love; the love that flowed in his blood. That kind of love left a mark. A more important mark than the one on his forehead… The same mark that Edward would always carry upon him because of my love, because I would have died for him with no second thought, because when Laurent asked me where he was I didn't betray him…

"Bella" said Dumbledore "To love is to be vulnerable. I think you know that better than anyone because regardless how many times love have failed you, you keep embracing it!" my head snapped at his direction

"You are capable for great love and that is a gift. Do not waste it." He told me affectionately

"I can love and I can be happy. But I will never be whole again, old man…" I told him calmly

"Life is a strange thing, Bella. You never know how things will turn out" he replied just as calmly

I nodded

"Tell me about the spell; it has to do with the blood, right?" I asked finally starting to understand

"Yes, Lily's blood is flowing in her sister's veins as well. She took him in, Bella. That means that as long as she offers him her roof Voldemort cannot harm him there." He explained

"How long?" I asked

"It will stop working when he turns seventeen, but until then if he goes back where his mother's blood is, even once a year, he will be safe." he said

"He needs to stay there until he comes of age" I said. It wasn't a question

"Yes" he only said

I couldn't do it. I couldn't endanger him by taking him away from the spells protection.

_Harry…._

I nodded my agreement

"Thank you, Bella!" he answered relieved

I nodded again looking at my feet

"I have another topic to discuss with you" he sighed

"What topic?" I asked

"Bella, do you know why Lord Voldemort offered you a place as a deatheater?" he asked the question I've been asking myself for all this time

"He was intrigued by my shield" I answered carefully

What did Dumbledore know about that??

"Yes, your shield" he sighed "But you know, Bella I can master occlumensy so well that I have a mind shielded as well as yours…" he said expecting me to understand the double meaning of his words

"You mean to say that any wizard mastering occlumensy perfectly, could replace me." I told him

"No, I mean to say that Lord Voldemort was very capable on protecting his mind from any kind of assault. Why did he need a shield??" he asked me

He had a point; that was clear. I just couldn't grasp what Dumbledore was trying to tell me.

"I've been wondering for a long time why he would offer me a place in the deatheaters; especially since I was a lower creature, in his opinion…" I answered sincerely

"Have you found an answer?" he asked curiously

"No, I really didn't! But then again Bellatrix Lestreing wondered the same thing about me and she didn't found an answer either!" I replied simply

"Of course not. Neither of the two of you had all the facts." He said

"And you do?" I asked half heartedly. If it was any other time I would die to know, but now I really couldn't bring myself to care…

He looked at me for a moment as if trying to decide whether he could trust me with this.

"Yes" he said making up his mind

"I know and by what I'm intending to reveal to you will be judged everyone's future!" he continued steadily

What have I gotten myself into this time???

***********************************************************************

The cemetery was very quiet as I was making my way through the tombs. I was holding a bouquet of flowers; white lilies rounding a single red rose in the middle. I had no idea what each flower stood for in reality but when I picked them lilies seemed to be the right choice; she had their name and I wanted them to be white because they reminded me of innocence. The red rose was the symbol of their love.

_Love,_ I thought as I stood in front of their grave.

I hadn't been able to say a proper goodbye to them in their funeral. I wasn't sure I could say goodbye now… After my conversation with Dumbledore last night I understood I had to do this because I wouldn't be able to concentrate in the difficult task he had given me. So, here I was a sparkling vampire in the daylight standing in front of two graves not knowing what to do…

I placed the bouquet upon the grave and caressed the cold marble.

_James Potter_

My big brother, the man who offered me his help without even knowing me, without asking me anything. He had given me his hand and never abandoned me ever since.

"I will miss you so much!" I told him and I felt my heart shattering at the thought he no longer existed in this world.

I looked at the other name that was engraved on the stone.

_Lily Potter_

She was really lost to me forever. There were no words in the whole word that could describe the pain of my loss. Lily… She had loved me without boundaries, without conditions… She believed in me with every ounce of her existence until her last breath… And that kind of act leaves a mark and that mark cannot be seen but I would carry it with me forever; because Lily Potter's love had marked me and had made me become a better person…. Everything was clear to me now…

"You saved me. I didn't save you back. But I will save your son for you, Lily. I promise that with my life or death I will save your son" I told her with all the strength I could master.

My eyes wondered to the inscription under their names

_The last enemy that shall be destroyed is death._

Resolve hit me hard. I had to leave. I had come to say goodbye and as difficult as it was to leave them behind, I had to go…. I had one more thing to do before I started the wild goose hunt in which Dumbledore had sent me.

I turned my back and walked away leaving a piece of my heart sleeping under the ground with James and Lily Potter….

*********************************************************************

I was standing in the dark road in front of the house in number 4, Privet drive. People were moving inside the house but all I could concentrate on was a very familiar heartbeat.

I could tell where Harry was lying in the living room fast asleep. His heartbeat was the most distinctive sound of my universe; yet somehow I had to manage to live without it until he would grow up. Time had not the same meaning to humans as it had to me… So until Harry was ready, I would try and make easier the difficult path that he had ahead of him….

"Take care of yourself, Harry. I will come back for you." I whispered and then walked away into the darkness….

**AN:**** I thought I should give her a proper goodbye with them… I'll try and write less depressing things from now on! Anyway, I liked this chapter I hope you did too… Please leave me a review and I'll give you the next chapter's sneak peak… And don't forget the poll in my profile...**

**Take care, **

**El**


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, songs etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of each author. The author of this fan fiction is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended, only for entertaining purposes. This story is rated T.**

**A very big thank you to all of you who support this story with your love! Also, I would like to thank all those who voted for my next story to the poll in my profile page. Thank you!!! Those of you, who haven't, please do!!! I am quite certain this chapter is not at all what you've been expecting; still I hope you like it!!! Enjoy!!!**

Chapter 12 – Return

The forest's scent was filling my senses. I had missed it. I had missed being home. The English countryside was starting to blossom; spring had come quickly. It was the end of March. I had spent many springs all over the world but nothing felt like this. Nothing could compare to these woods in which I first learned how to hunt.

My golden eyes wondered around melancholically. This was it. This was the spot that Remus had attacked me that night. This was the spot that I had been saved. This was the very spot that my life had started to change. I used to come here to think back then and right now I could use some thinking.

It had been twelve years, five months and seven days since the night my dead heart was torn apart. It had been twelve years, five months and seven days since Lily and James left this world. My depression never really faded away over the years; I simply ignored it. I've been ignoring myself really; the only thing I cared was to keep my promise to her.

I wouldn't have come back. The quest that Dumbledore had set me out to do was like trying to catch smoke but I was determined. If catching smoke was what it took to protect Harry then I would catch smoke! All these years I was committed a hundred per cent in the task I had been given and that was why it gave results; slowly, but still it was working. Any other in my place would have dropped out of it, or at least that was what Dumbledore told me when he came to find me and I showed him what I had found out.

Like I said, I wouldn't have come back. But now there was something I couldn't ignore and that something had a name.

Sirius Black.

When Dumbledore first told me that he had escaped Azkaban I was so angered that I swore I would dump everything just to come back and get him!! But Albus thought otherwise. I was to stay put until further notice. Obviously, the ministry had trouble handling things but he didn't; he would protect Harry with his life, he told me, but I had to go on with what I had started to do. However, lately things had gotten out of control in Hogwarts. That murderer had found his way in the school twice and Dumbledore suspected that Harry had found out the truth about his parents deaths. He was wondering around in the corridors full of anger and pain.

I should have told Albus about Sirius's little secret but James had asked me all those years ago not to tell because Remus felt very bad about it. Back then, I had promised I wouldn't speak a word. Right now, I was seriously thinking of breaking that promise. After all, Harry's safety was more important than my promise. Remus would just have to deal with Dumbledore's disappointment. Of course, I could just find Black and snap his neck. That would definitely solve a lot of problems!

_Very mature, Bella!!!! Harry will be very eager to meet you if he finds out that you __killed someone!!! Like it's not enough that he will have to deal with the fact that his godmother is a bloody monster, __without taking into consideration the deatheater thing__!!!! _a voice mocked me in my head.

Ah, Harry…. He was thirteen years old. He had grown up. Yet I couldn't find myself imagining how he had turned out. For twelve years I've been running around the world while he was living in a hostile environment. How I had wished that I was there to help and comfort him! It was impossible though, I could do nothing but take greedily every new that Dumbledore told me about him and wish the day that I would be reunited with my godson to finally come. Until then, I was distracting myself with my task but being a vampire my mind was not working like a human's. I could try and concentrate to the mission but that was not enough; Harry was always present in the back of my head.

I had started to believe that the day I would meet him would never really come, so when Foks came with a letter from Dumbledore in which he explained that things were getting out of hand and that it was time for me to come back my feelings were out of control. At first, I was absolutely thrilled that I would get to finally meet my little miracle but then I remembered that he wasn't a one year old anymore. He had grown up. He was a teenager now. How could he ever accept that his godmother was a monster? Well, his parents did because they were kind and caring and if I believed Albus, Harry was just like them.

I sighed.

Even if that was the case, how was I supposed to explain why I wasn't there for him all these years? He wasn't supposed to know about the spell; not yet anyway. And how could I ever explain him my deatheater past?? Albus was so sure that he would accept me.

Well, I wasn't…

Noone in his right mind would ever accept me as a family! Hell, not even when I was a simple girl noone would accept me as a family!!!

I looked around me eagerly.

If only I could stay hidden forever…

_Doesn't do any good to think about it!_ I thought. After all Dumbledore was expecting me to go to Hogwarts as soon as I arrived.

_Well, I'm here now!!!_

I wanted to think before I got there and this place was the first one that jumped into my head. And I had made up my mind; all that was left was to make it known…

_Not easy!!!!_

_Well, easy or not g__et it over with!!!_ a voice scolded me in my head

Right. I had to go. Harry's safety was above everything; the rest were just unimportant!

With that thought I turned around and started running…

************************************************************************************************************

I knocked on the heavy wooden door. I felt funny. Both times I was here my life seemed to just get out of control.

I drifted away from my thoughts when a soft voice told me to come in.

He was standing in front of his office with a smile playing on his lips while I approached him.

"My dearest, Bella!!" he said happily and before I had a chance to do anything he had me enveloped in a big hug.

"What…" I tried to ask but he cut me of

"Welcome home, child!!" Dumbledore said tenderly pulling away and looking at me the smile never leaving his face.

If I could have blushed, I would have. Still, it felt good. It felt good to be cared. Over the years Albus and I had formed quite a bond; he still liked to keep his thoughts to himself but so did I so it was working. I had started loving this crazy grandpa, not that I would ever admit that to him!!

"What's up, old man?" I asked casually "Can't handle a little trouble?" I continued sarcastically. We both knew Black was far more than little trouble.

"Oh, Bella!! I missed you!!!!" he said his smile getting bigger

"You can say that and I can pretend to believe it but we both know that if the choice was between me and your chocolate frogs, you would definitely choose the second!!!" I told him and he laughed

"It's good to have you back!! You always keep me on track!!" he said

"Yeah, just don't tell that to professor McGonagall!" I muttered and he smiled again

"Minerva will be glad to see you!!!" he said "And it's not only Minerva!!!" he finished

"What do you mean?" I asked

"You'll see" he told me and then looked at me carefully

"How are you, Bella?" he asked

"I'm fine!" I answered and he just stared at me

"What? I _am_ fine!!" I told him

"Not at all nervous?" he asked the corners of his lips twitching up

"I don't do such thing as being nervous!!" I replied sternly

"So, you're completely ready to meet him?" he asked curiously

"Yes" I replied collected

"Bella…" he said

"What?"

"Don't I at least get to know what you're up to?" he asked worriedly

"I'm not up to anything!" I replied quickly. A little too quickly.

"Let me see, you're not up to anything and you are completely calm that you will meet your godson after twelve years??" he asked trying to figure me out.

_Wrong move!!!_

"Exactly" I answered

"Why?" he asked as if he knew my answer would get him in trouble

"Because I will know he is my godson." I replied calmly

"You will know he is…" Dumbledore mumbled to himself trying to understand the meaning of my words. And then his eyes widened.

_Finally._

"You used to get things faster than this" I told him simply

"You will know he is your godson but he won't??" he asked me stunned

"Of course!" I told him as if it was obvious

"Bella, you can't be serious!!" he told me

"Why not?" I asked

"This child needs someone and that someone is you!!" he said heatedly

"You were the one who took him away from me though" I answered still calm

"For his safety!" he answered me "And honestly at the time I never thought he would have to suffer everything that his uncle and aunt made him go through!" he told me sadness lacing his voice

"Are you telling me this to make me feel better? Cause if you do, I should tell you: it's not working!!!!" I told him

"I'm telling you this because I want you to understand that Harry needs you!" he answered

"Sure he does!! Not only he has a godfather that's after him to kill him but he also has a godmother who is a vampire!! Don't you think it's a little too much for a thirteen year old??" I asked him sarcastically

"Bella, Harry will love you for who you are not for what you look like!" he told me exasperated

"Look, Albus, I never said we won't tell him!! But he has a lot to deal with at the moment and he needs his time; especially if your suspicions about him learning the truth for Sirius Black are true!" I told him

"Exactly! If he knows the truth like I think he does, he will need someone to be there for him!" he said heatedly

"I will be there for him!" I answered with the same heat

"But he won't know who you are, Bella!!" he insisted

"Listen to me!! We won't rush into anything! I will meet him, talk to him and protect him! He will know I'm Bella, a friend." I said and he tried to speak

"Let me finish!" I told him raising my hand

"Like I said he has enough to deal with at the moment. Even if he doesn't know who Sirius is, eventually he will find out and I will be there for him. But give him time; give him time to get used to me and trust me, give me time to get to know him again. I don't even know what he looks like!" I told him reasonably

"Very well, Bella! You're right as usual! I will give both of you time. But when the time is right we will tell Harry!" he declared

"When the time is right." I agreed. When the time was right, I would tell him, if that was the best for him, if he wanted to hear…

Dumbledore was eyeing me suspiciously.

_Better change the subject!!!_

"So, what's the news around here?? Except for the dementors and the murderer on the loose??" I asked casually and Albus chuckled

"I think you'll find the news pretty interesting!!" he told me with an indifferent smile that didn't convince me at all.

"What do you mean?" I asked

"You'll see!" he said smiling

"What will I see?"

"It's a surprise!!" he told me

What was the old lizard up to???

"You know I hate surprises!" I replied

"You'll just have to deal with this one, now won't you?" he said half smiling half laughing

I huffed.

"Come on, Bella!! Don't be like that!!!" he said still smiling "Care for a walk?" he continued

"Right now?" I asked nervously. What if we bumped into Harry???

"Tired?" he asked amused

"Very funny! Lets go!!" I said huffing and he laughed

"I really did miss you!!!" he said happily

_Missed you too, grandpa!_I thought and motioned him out the door.

Here we go….

**AUTHORS NOTE PLEASE READ**

**Well that was it! I know it wasn't big but believe me if I had made it bigger it would have lost its interest!!! Anyway, before you all start asking me I want to let you know that yes the Cullens will be in the story after a few chapters!!!! Yey!!!! **

**Now I have two announcements to make:**

**I'm staring exams in the university this week. You can definitely count on updates but obviously it will take more time than usual! **

**For those of you who don't know the Bellies and the ****Indie Twific Awards are up****!!!!! Aren't you happy??? I know I am!!! **

**Now, the link to the Bellies is **

**http : // www . thecatt . net / tw / Nomination . aspx**

**You can nominate your favourite stories there!!! The nominations close at June 24****th ****so hurry** **and vote!!!**

**The link to the ****Indie Twific Awards**** is**

**http : // theindietwificawards . com / nominations . aspx**

**You can also vote your favorite stories there!!! I think we all should!! Some people have really great stories out there!!! **

**If I have the time, I might post a list of recommendations in my profile page but I can't promise you that because I really have a lot of studying to do!!!! **** If any of you know any other awards that we can vote, please let me know!!!**

**So, I guess that's it!!! Please leave me a review and I'll give you the next chapter's sneak peak!! It's really important for me to hear what you think about this chapter!!!! Please review!!!!**

**Take care, **

**El**


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, songs etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of each author. The author of this fan fiction is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended, only for entertaining purposes. This story is rated T.**

**YES!! I'm updating!!!! Aren't you happy?? I know I am!!! My exams are pretty hard but I found some time to do so!!! Don't you love me for that?? Ha ha ha!!! So, thank you!!!! Thanks for reviewing and for supporting this story!!!! I'm so glad you liked last chapter!!!! To EVERYONE: The CULLENS will be in the story, you just have to be patient for a few more chapters I don't want to ruin the story by putting them earlier than they should be!!!! Anyway, enjoy!!!**

Chapter 13 – Surprise

The long corridor was empty. I wondered why Albus wanted to go for a walk so badly!!! The old weasel!! He was up to something, I could tell!!!

I felt really nervous at the thought that I was walking around without hiding as usual; of course, Albus figured.

"You don't need to feel nervous!" he told me smiling smugly

"You wouldn't say that if you knew about my last encounter with a human" I told him and he smiled

"You know how I'm always thirsty for knowledge" he answered lightly

_You went __looking for it!!!!_ I thought

"I was in a mugle bar in Egypt. A guy walks in, he looks at me and he says: Tell me sugar was your father a thief? Because if he was, he has stolen the stars that are now shining in your eyes!!!"

Albus looked at me trying hard not to laugh

"And that is not the end of it!!" I continued "He spent the next three hours explaining to me how he believed that vampires existed and how his grandfather had repelled one with garlic!!!"

"Bella…" Dumbledore said still trying to stay serious

"You know what the worst part is?" I told him and he shook his head

"He was trying to give me some garlic too, to keep me safe from vampires!!!!" I said and he started laughing hard

"Bella…. your luck…. Garlic!!!" were the only things I figured before he started crying from the laughs.

Two students approached us from the other side of the corridor. A boy and a girl. I tensed next to Albus but he just couldn't stop laughing.

"Professor Dumbledore, are you alright?" asked the girl worriedly while the boy looked very amused.

"I'm very well! Thank you for asking!!!" he answered between laughs

"Oh! Ok then!" she said and she looked at me uncomfortably.

Poor kid! I could tell she had figured what I was and she wasn't happy around me! Who would be?? Scratch that last! Who normal person would be? Noone really; and my appearance didn't help at all!!! Since Lily's and James's deaths, I had been wearing black. I had no reason to wear anything different; the mourn was endless to me…

Right now, my clothing was consisted by black tight jeans, a black blouse and black flat leather boots. My clothes were the mirror of my personality! I was dark, mysterious and very, very dangerous!!! Obviously, the girl was smart enough to take in all that with just one look, which was exactly what made her more anxious. Damn!! I should do something! I wasn't here to scare children!!

Dumbledore had finally come of his laughing state and was looking at the kids with great interest. I winked to the boy and he giggled

"So, children! What are you doing out? Don't you have transfiguration right now?" he asked them

"Yes, but professor McGonagall had to go and convince Fred and George not to let Mr. Filts fall from the astronomy tower!!!" said the boy

"Your brothers have a funny sense of humor, Ronald!!" he said smiling and then he noticed the girl starring at me

"Dear!! Where are my good manners?? I didn't even introduce you!!!!" he said theatrically and I didn't buy one second of it!!

"This is Ronald Weasly and Hermione Granger, Bella!!" he told me and my heart sank lower than my feet.

I knew exactly who these two were; Dumbledore had told me all about them; about Harry's best friends!!!! This wasn't good! If one of my godson's most beloved friends, like Hermione Granger, reacted that way when she saw me, I could only imagine Harry's reaction to me!!!

"Children, this is a very dear friend of mine, Bella Swan!!" he said smiling and I could see the instant recognition in Ronald's face. It was pretty obvious he was aware of my old occupations with the deatheaters. Great!!! Now he hated me too!!!

I was so focused on the children in front of me, that I totally missed the soft footsteps behind us.

"Professor Dumbledore, you…" I heard a familiar voice and I turned around to face someone I hadn't seen in long time.

"Remus?" I asked unsure

"Izzie?" he said stunned

I smiled. He smiled back. Next thing I knew we were hugging each other jumping around like five year olds.

"I missed you!"

"Where have you been?"

"How have you been doing?" we were asking each other

"I haven't seen you in like what? Four years?" he told me

"Yeah, I guess I was busy!" I told him smiling and Dumbledore laughed

"So, you came back for good?" he asked me. Remus knew I was doing something for Dumbledore; he just had no idea what or where and why.

"I'm not sure, Remus!" I said looking over to where Albus was standing. He smiled.

"Why don't you two talk about living arrangements somewhere else??? I think you're scaring my students!!!!" he told us very amused. Ron and Hermione were looking at us stunned. I suspected each of them had different reasons. And then I remembered….

"That was the surprise you were talking about?" I asked Dumbledore

"He promised you a surprise, didn't he?" said Remus sarcastically

"You knew?" I asked

"I had no idea!!" he answered

"Well, you played quite a game on us, now didn't you?" I laughed

"Ridiculous!!!" Albus said "How can an old man such as myself play games?"

Remus giggled and I looked at him amused

"Care to see Hagrid??" Remus asked

"Are you joking?? Of course!!!" I said excited

"Alright, you go ahead!!! "Albus said smiling "I think I'll go and help Minerva get Mr. Filts out of the astronomy tower" Remus and I giggled at this

"Come on, Mr. Weasly, Miss Granger! Oh, and Bella?" he told me

"Yes?" I asked

"Watch out for that garlic!!!!" he laughed walking away along with the two students.

Jesus Christ!!!!! He wouldn't stop mocking me, now would he???

************************************************************************************************************

"I can't believe you're teaching here!!!" I told Remus excited

"Yeah, I know!!" he said

"Remus, come on!!!!" I whined

"Alright, alright!!! I'm happy, Izzie!!! I don't think I've ever been this happy before!!!" he smiled

"You love teaching!!!" I smiled back

"I love kids!!" we both laughed at that

"You've met him, haven't you?" I asked anxious

"Yes, I've met him!" he answered simply

"How is he?"

"He's just like James, Iz!! Except for the eyes; he has Lily's eyes!!" he said smiling and I felt a bit sad.

"You shouldn't blame yourself." He said. Remus could read me better than anyone.

"How can I not, Remus?" I told him "If I were there that night, I would have done something!"

"Yes, you would have done something!! You would have died!!!" he told me heatedly

"Maybe! But they would have lived!" I answered in the same tone

"Izzie…" he said

"What am I going to tell him, Remus?? Why wasn't I there for him all these years?" I told him exasperated

"You weren't there for him because you were trying to help him!" he answered

"How am I supposed to say that since I'm not allowed to explain to him

what I've been doing?" I asked

"I trust you!" he said "You'll find a way!"

There was no way!! Especially not after his friends reactions to me!! I looked around me trying to remain calm; we were standing in the bridge that connected the castle with the grounds. I took in a deep breath.

"Does he like you?" I asked

"Yes" he replied calmly

"Does he know?"

"No"

I sighed

"Izzie, even if Harry finds out what I am, his opinion to me won't change!! He said with passion

"Always the optimist!!!" I mumbled and he smiled

"Always the pessimist!!" he replied

"You seriously believe that he will accept a vampire godmother?" I asked sarcastically

"Yes!" he answered "Harry looks like James but he is more like Lily, Izzie!!! He will love you for who you are, not for what you are!" he continued

"This is who I am, Remus!!" I said motioning to my never aging body

"Do you think that the fact that you'll never grow old will stop him?" he asked amused

"It should stop him!!" I said and he looked at me angrily

"Izzie, he needs you!!! He doesn't deal with the situation properly!!!"

"What do you mean??" I asked

"This whole situation has him depressed; and the dementors don't help!!" he sighed

"I don't understand" I told him

"Iz, Harry's sensitive to them because he's been through a tragedy in his past!" he explained and I nodded

"Every time they go near him he can hear his mother..."

"Lily?" I asked afraid to hear the rest

He nodded

"Harry was in the room when she died, Izzie" he said sadly

"I know" I told him afraid to hear out loud what I had already figured in my mind.

"He can hear Voldemort murdering her" he said quietly and all the pain I was trying to shut of for years came crushing me down. Why did Harry have to be tortured like that? When would this all stop?

"And that's not the end of it." Remus said carefully

"What is that supposed to mean?" I asked

"He hears another voice as well" he told me calmly

I looked at him half curious half pained

"That voice calls for his mother! It's pained and agonised but it's there, Izzie!!! He feels safer when he hears it!" he said smiling

I kept looking at him confused

"Don't you understand, Izzie? It's you!!!!" he smiled

"M… me?" I asked stunned

"You were the one who found him in those ruins!! It's your voice!!!"

My voice?? Harry was hearing my voice???

"Are you sure?" I whispered

"Yes! I've been trying to teach him how to cast a patronus charm to repel the dementors, so I know everything about it!" he answered with confidence.

I felt overwhelmed by all these information. It must have been evident in my face because Remus put a comforting hand on my shoulder; like a real friend would. But even that way, I couldn't afford that. Remus was my friend, my mentor, but I was the one who had spent the past twelve years facing hell. I could not afford being weak and sentimental; not with what I had gotten myself meddled in… I stepped away from his touch and put on the poker face that had been my constant companion over all these years.

"Has he figured out who the voice is?" I asked harshly

Remus sighed seeing the sudden change in my posture

"No, he doesn't know." He told me "Yet." He added

"What do you mean yet? Is there any way he could find out?" I asked not changing my tone

"Izzie, what's the matter?? You're back, you're going to tell him yourself!!" he replied annoyed by my attitude

"That's exactly the matter, Remus!!! You see, I have no intention of telling anything to him whatsoever!!!" I answered calmly

For a moment he looked taken aback. The next minute he was furious.

"What do you mean you're not going to tell him?" he asked angrily

"You heard me, Remus!!!"

"Isabella Marie Swan, do you have any idea what that boy has been through all this time?"

"I have a better idea than anyone else, Remus!!! If I had any gaps on the story, you just filled them in!!!!"

"Why, Izzie?? Why doing that to him?? Isn't it enough that he'll learn about Sirius one day?" he asked exasperated with my attitude

"Yes, it is!!! This is exactly why I won't talk to him right now!!! The time is wrong!!!" I answered simply

"The way you see things the time will always be wrong, Izzie!!!" he shouted and I rolled my eyes. Being sensitive was something Remus could do, I had no such luxury!!!!

"Does Dumbledore know about your crazy plan?" he asked in the same tone

"Of course!" I answered

"And he agrees?" he asked incredulity lacing his voice

"Yes!" I told him smugly

"That's nuts!!!" he shouted

"Well, nuts or not, unfortunately for you all I'm the one to make that decision!!!!" I snapped

"No, you're not!!!" he snapped back

"If you don't tell Harry, then I will!!!" he threatened

We were facing each other now, our positions showing exactly the beasts that we both truly were. I was ready to answer back but before I had the chance, I was cut of by a sound that made my dead heart almost skip a bit

"Tell me what?" I heard and I found myself getting lost in the green vivid eyes that I hadn't seen for twelve years…

**AN:**** I know I'm the definition of evil!!!! Now, Bella's clothes are in a link on my profile page and so is the poll for my next story!!! Please visit!!! Oh, if the link doesn't work, please let me know!!!! Sooooo, you know the process!! Hitting the green button = review = sneak peak!!!! Yey!!!! **

**Take care,**

**El**


	15. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, songs etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of each author. The author of this fan fiction is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended, only for entertaining purposes. This story is rated T.**

**IMPORTANT PLEASE READ**

**Thanks to everyone who loves and supports this story through reviews and adds to their fav and alert lists!!!! A big welcome to all the new people who reviewed and just found out about this story!!!! ****So, a few things before we start!!! I'm really proud of myself for finishing this in a few hours time!!! My exams finished yesterday and tomorrow I'm parting on vacation to the Greek islands!!! YEY!!!!! :D!!! Those of you who have visited them understand why I am so excited!!!! Those were the good news!!! The bad news are that this story will not be updated next week!!!! Sorry, guys!!! You'll just have to be patient with me!!! I'll write a new chapter as soon as I get back!!! Now, the link for Bella's outfit is fixed and you can find it in my profile page!!! If you visit please also vote in the poll that I've set up while you still have time because when I get back from vacation it will probably close, 'cause I want to start writing a new story!!!! So, I won't stall any longer!!!! Enjoy!!!!**

Chapter 14 – A new sun

Being a vampire was a reality that took long to adjust. Everything was different; the smell, the noise, the sight, the touch… In my opinion, what took the longest to accept was the fact that our bodies were frozen in time. I, being a vampire for some time now, had accepted my kind's destiny long time ago. However, in all my years and with all my experience, I never believed that I would live that reality in a more extended degree…

Usually, I was the one who was frozen in time forever, but just for this once in my existence, time had frozen as well!

I stood there speechless as I watched Harry approaching Remus with a soft smile in his lips.

_Harry, Harry, Harry….._

I felt low… I felt lower that the greatest pit of hell… How had this happened? How had I missed all these years of his precious life? Why had I abandoned the most important thing that life ever gave me?

Loads of questions with no answers…

_You did this for him!! You did this to help him!!! To keep him safe!!!!_ A voice screamed in my head

Yes, I had done all that to make sure no harm would come to him, but at what cost?

_You knew the consequences when you decided to comply with Dumbledore's plan!!_

Yes, I knew the prize. Still, now that I could face with my bare eyes what I had missed, the pain that came with the realization hit me hard. How had I ever considered telling him who I am?? He was so perfect, my little miracle! How could I ever mess that for him explaining what kind of connection he had with me?? With me!!! A monster!!!! No!!! No, way on earth I would allow that!!!

"Harry, what are you doing here?" asked Remus trying to calm himself down

"I was at Hagrid's" Harry answered and he looked at me curiously. The familiar sound of his voice took me by surprise. He was so much like his father!

"Oh!" was Remus's only answer

"Professor, what is it that I'm supposed to know?" he asked steadily.

Yeap, definitely like James!

"Harry, what exactly did you hear?" asked Remus carefully

"You said that if your friend doesn't tell me, then you will!" he answered honestly.

A rush of affection took over me. He was such a smart kid and now he had grown up to become a very intelligent young boy! If only Lily and James were here to see him…

"Well, Harry, it's true! There is something I need to tell you!" Remus said and turned to look at me

I stood my ground. If he insisted on telling Harry, there was nothing I could do about it. Just face the rejection… I smoothed my features, so none of the two could read my feelings in my face. Harry tilted his head in the side and kept looking at me trying to figure out who I was. Remus on the other hand was not so easy to fool. He had seen me in my most weak state, when I was struggling to go with the vegetarian diet. He knew me too well to be fooled.

"First of all, let me introduce you two! Izzie, this is Harry Potter and Harry this is Isabella Marie Swan!" Remus smiled to him

"Nice to meet you" Harry said extending his arm. Obviously, he had figured out what I was. The question that followed was why wasn't he running away from me screaming???

"It's nice to meet you too" I answered and extended my arm to take his own. I had never been more afraid in my entire existence! Touching Harry would be like finally accepting a reality that I knew that existed for the past twelve years; a reality that had sent me across the world searching. However, even when Dumbledore explained me the nature of my mission and how that would help Harry, I understood what I had to do but still accepting that one day all the things Albus told me would come to pass was something I never really realized.

Considering all this I took his hand in my own witnessing something I never thought that I would see. When our hands touched a bright light spilled from between them and blinded us all. Harry and I both gasped and drew back our hands. Remus was smiling happily.

"Ok! What was that?" Harry asked looking at me bewildered

"Don't ask me! I'm not the wizard around here!" I said turning to Remus who was still smiling

"Don't worry!" he told us "Sometimes, magic does this kind of stuff!" he continued

"But professor, what does this mean?" Harry insisted

"It happened, Harry! You don't need to overanalyze magic!" Remus told him. I said nothing. Harry was smart but he was still a kid! If Remus thought that I would just let it go that easily, he was fooling himself!!! He would explain this to me later! Now we had more serious problems!

"You still didn't tell me what I'm supposed to know!" Harry said stubbornly

Remus looked at me and smiled

"I meant to tell you that Izzie here is your new bodyguard!" he announced calmly

"Excuse me?" Harry and I said at the same time

Remus laughed

"Harry, I know how hard you're struggling against dementors!" he said putting a hand on Harry's shoulder

"And I also know that one day you'll achieve casting the patronus charm! But until then Harry, no one wants you to suffer when you come across them, so Iz is here to protect you!" he finished smiling tenderly at him

_I…. He…. What????_

Harry turned to look at me. I tensed at this and looked away.

_He is going to reject you!! He is going to reject you! He is going to reject you!!!_ My mind screamed in agony

"Thank you!" I heard and raised my eyes to face a smiling Harry.

He was smiling to me???

Yes, he was!!! He was smiling to me!!!!

I smiled a huge smile back at him!! Remus giggled

Remus…. Hmmmm….

"Well Harry, maybe you should go back to the castle." I told him "Dinner is served" I continued and he looked at me curiously

"How do you know?" he asked

"It stinks all the way out here!!" I answered and he laughed

Harry laughed!! I made him laugh!!! Wow!!!!

"If it stinks, maybe he should stay!!" Remus said knowing very well he was in some serious trouble now!!

"No, I think I'll go!! Ron and Hermione will be waiting! Guess I'll see you later!!!" he smiled to both of us and then turned away

I turned to look at Remus.

"Lupin, you're in some deep shit!!!" I told him threatingly

"Come on, Izzie! I did it for your sake!!! You'll get to spend time with him now!!!" he pleaded

No way!!!!

"You told him I'm his personal bodyguard!!! When have you ever heard a wizard having a vampire personal bodyguard, dog?? And even worst, against dementors?? I mean, you know bloody well that dementors can affect vampires as well!!! " I growled and he laughed

"What's wrong, Swan?? Afraid a bunch of poor dementors?" he asked mockingly

"Me??? Afraid???" I growled and he laughed

"You're laughing at me?" I said furious and he laughed harder. I lunged at him pinning him to the ground. We rolled and fought for some time. He was strong but I was much more experienced in combat; my teeth were an inch from his neck when he told me

"Hold your horses there, Iz!! I told him nothing about who you are!!"

"By the way, why didn't you tell him?" I asked curiously

"Didn't you notice what happened when you shook hands?" he asked. At this I sat up and looked at him.

"Yes, is there a chance that you know what the hell was that?" I asked him

"Not a clue obvious!! Except for one thing!" he said sitting up as well

"What's that?" I asked

"Eventually, you'll have to tell him yourself!" he said smugly

"I will, now won't I?" I asked sarcastically

"You just shook his hand and all that light came out. Can you imagine what's going to happen when you start hanging out together?" he asked grinning like the fool he was

"And of course, I can't just try and ignore him because you told him the convenient lie of the bodyguard!!!" I snapped at him

"You must admit that was a convincing one!!" he laughed

"Idiot!!!" I mumbled and he laughed

"You need to learn how to loose, Izzie!!" he said

"I don't do such thing as loose, dog!!!" I replied and he laughed harder

"Alright!!" he said "Truce?"

"Truce!" I told him smiling

"Still want to check on Hagrid? He's going to be thrilled to see you!!!" he smiled

"I know!" I answered

"And you'll get to tell him about not telling Harry!!!" he giggled

"Joy!!" I said. If Remus had reacted this way to my decision, I could only imagine how bad it would be with Hagrid!

We walked towards the little shag

"Ready?" Remus asked and I nodded. He knocked on the door.

Hagrid came out with a huge apron around his waste. Obviously he was trying to cook, which explained the horrid smell around his place. He looked at Remus and then his gaze landed on me.

"Belly!!!!!" he screamed happily

Why me????

**************************************************************************************************************

Remus was standing five feet way from me with his wand aloft.

"Again!" I said and he smiled

"Legilimens!" he shouted and I covered Hagrid with my shield.

"Ha!!!" Hagrid yelled smugly "Not even close, Remus!!!" he continued laughing

"Again!" I said

"Iz, are you sure you can handle it?" Remus asked mockingly

"Shut up!!" I muttered and he laughed.

Just then my sharp senses caught the sound of three heart beats. Remus looked towards the castle; he too had heard our little visitors. Harry, Ron and Hermione emerged from the bridge seconds later. I liked Ron and Hermione. I had been here for about a week and they were both avoiding me, but still this time I got to judge their behaviors by myself and not count on Dumbledore's descriptions.

Hermione was walking in the front looking anxious. She really needed to relax now and then. Ron was walking behind her distracted…. well, by me…! I guess even though his parents must have informed him for my deatheater past, he couldn't overcome my vampire looks!! It was rather funny! And then, there was Harry… My reason for living, my baby angel… Gosh, why did humans have to grow so fast? It seemed as if he was a baby and then I blinked and here he was; a teenager…

I sighed as they approached us

"Kids!!! It's great you're here!!!" Hagrid yelled with all his enthusiasm. Hagrid! Oh, well, he didn't take it well!!! When I told him that Harry had no idea who I was, he almost had a stroke! It took me an hour to calm him down; Remus didn't help because as he put it, in every fight there had to be someone neutral!!! I would have punched him for that, if I didn't have Hagrid screaming that he was dying!!! Anyway, when Hagrid finally quitted panting and holding his chest tight, he threw a fit and kept yelling at me for three hours straight!!! Like I said, he didn't take it well…

"We came to see how you're doing, Hagrid!! You know with Buckbeak and the trial!!" Hermione said

"Oh, don't worry, Hermione!!!! I've memorized everything you told me!!!" Hagrid smiled happily. Maybe, I should tell him a couple of things about ministry hearings; especially, when Lucius Malfoy was involved…

"Are you sure, Hagrid?" Remus asked "We could always help!" he continued

"Nonsense, it's going to be fine!!! Besides, we can't leave practice!!" he answered

"Practice?" Harry asked while I was saying "Hagrid, I don't need to practice!"

Harry and I looked at each other

"What are you practicing for?" Ron asked, waking up from his trance

"Izzie, has a gift!" Remus answered for my sake

"Of course, I've read all about it!!!! Some vampires have special gifts!!" Hermione said excited. I wasn't happy with the attention at all; especially since Harry was looking at me frowning.

"Hermione…" Ron tried to say but she was already bouncing up and down

"Can you tell me about your gift???" she asked me

"Hermione, maybe she doesn't want…" Ron tried to stop her, probably worrying about my reaction

"That's ok, Ronald! It's a bit difficult to describe, but I can show you" I said calmly

"Go on!!!!" she said smiling and I looked at Remus who nodded

"Legilimens!" he said pointing his wand at me but nothing happened

"Wow!!!!!" Hermione screamed "You can block a mental attack? Any kind of mental attack?"she asked bewildered

"Yes, and not just that" I replied and pointed to Hagrid

"Legilimens!" Remus shouted again

My shield was all over Hagrid.

"You can extend your shield as well?" She asked amazed

Before I could answer, I felt Remus putting pressure on the spell trying to figure out my limits.

_You went looking for it, Lupin!!!_I thought and pushed my shields strength to the front. As a result, Remus was thrown to the ground ten feet away.

"How did you do that?" Harry asked this time

"I concentrated my energy in the spot that the spell was touching the shield." I answered

"You see, kids" Remus took over from where I stopped "Izzie here, has a mental shield but when she's pressed a lot she can turn some of the shield's energy into an offensive kind of attack!"__he finished and they all looked at me in awe.

"Still, I can't control that very well yet!" I told them trying to ease some of the tension that I felt knowing everyone was looking at me.

"Isn't Belly great?" asked Hagrid enthusiastically and everyone laughed

"Hagrid, how many times have I told you not to call me that?" I asked in the verge of murder

"But you like it!!!" he said with confidence and the others laughed harder

"Hopeless!" I mumbled while the others kept laughing

"It's getting dark! You're all staying for dinner!!" Hagrid announced and then walked in the shag to get things ready

Ron and Hermione followed close behind. Remus gave me and Harry one last look and then stepped inside as well. I sat in the small steps in front of the shag.

"Won't you come in with us?" Harry asked

"I don't think so!!! You know when it comes to Hagrid's cooking I always feel immense gratitude that I can't eat human food!!!" I told him and he laughed

"Yeah, I know what you mean!!" He said and sat down beside me

"Can I ask you something?" he said after a while

"It depends!"

"From what?"

"From what the answer is!" I told him

"What do you mean?"

"Well, Harry some answers aren't easy! Still I would like to hear your question!" I told him gently

"I just wanted to know why your eyes are golden"

Hmmm…

"My eyes are golden because I feed from animals" I answered simply

"Why?"

"Because long time ago I decided I did not want to be a monster"

"Why?"

"Because there were people in my life that loved me and I loved back and I couldn't bear to inflict any kind of damage upon them" it was a part of the truth; but to me it was the one that mattered the most.

"Where are they now?" he asked me

"They're gone." I said my voice cracking

"I'm sorry" he said

"Don't be!" I told him "They were really nice people!! If heaven is real, then they sure are there!!" I said smiling a sad smile to him

"My parents are gone too" he told me putting his hand on my own to comfort me. I didn't know what I should do. Smile because his gesture showed that he cared or start sobbing for his very parents in front of him.

_Be strong__ for him, Izzie…._ I heard her voice telling me. I smiled. Since the night she died, every time I was in grave danger or really scared, I would hear her voice encouraging me, reminding me she never really left me…

"Your parents were great people, Harry! And they both loved you very much!" I told him my voice ringing with sincerity

"You knew them?" he asked me eagerly

"I had met them a few times" I answered half heartedly. Suddenly, this whole show I was playing to him was a deep burden in my shoulders.

"How were they?"

"Your dad was stubborn and funny! He smiled a lot! He was also a very strong and brave man who was not afraid to show his love and who cared for you and your mum a great deal!" he smiled at this

"And mum?"

"Your mother… Well, there are really not enough words to describe her!" I remembered smiling

"She was kind and caring and she fought hard for the ones she loved!! You and your dad were her world!" I finished

"You said you've only met them, but you speak of them as if you knew them well" Harry noted

"I was always very observant! Besides, your parents never hid their feelings for each other; or for you!" I answered and we sat there silent

"You know there's something troubling me" Harry said

"Tell me"

"I don't know! I think I know you! Your presence, your voice, especially your voice, I think I've heard it before, only I can't remember where" Harry said sighing

"Many people have familiar voices"

"Yes, but yours is like bells in the wind! Perfect! No one talks like that!" he insisted

"Dinner's ready!!!!" Hagrid yelled from the inside giving me the opportunity to avoid answering

"Come on, Harry!! Your friends will probably wonder if I intend to make you my meal!!"

"I'll come! But you're staying, right?" he asked anxiously and I thought that my forever frozen heart had just skipped a beat

"I am staying!" I told him

_I am staying with you…._ I vowed in my heart and turned to walk inside

"Great, Bella!!!" he said smiling

"Bella?" I asked stunned in front of the door

"Of course!!!" he answered "Bella means beautiful!!! It suits you!!!" he told me smiling

"Thank you!" I whispered

"No, thank you!" he told me leaving me completely amazed

"What for?" I managed to ask

"For telling me you knew my parents! For letting me know about them!!" he answered

I turned to look at him and found him smiling. I smiled back at him.

"Want to go inside, Harry?" I asked offering him my hand

"Yes!" he answered and he took it

As we walked inside, I couldn't help but think that the clouds that were haunting my heart for the past twelve years had suddenly been pulled away for a new sun to rise….

**AN:**** I hope you liked it!!! It was rather quick!! Anyway, please give me a review to find when I come back from vacation!!!! I'll most definitely send you the usual sneak peak!!!!!! Now, I give you some love and go finish packing!!!!!!!**

**Take care,**

**El**


	16. Chapter 16

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, songs etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of each author. The author of this fan fiction is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended, only for entertaining purposes. This story is rated T.**

**I'm BACK!!!!!!!!! Aren't you happy? I know I am!!! I had a great time and blah blah blah!!! I could bubble for hours about how great vacation I had and how nice it have been, but because I don't want you to die from boredom, I'll stop here!!! I want to thank all those who have been supporting this story all the way!!! You guys, I don't know what I'd do without you!!!! Also, I'd like to welcome all the new people that just discovered this story!!!! ****First of all, for those who haven't noticed the poll in my profile page is closed and I posted the first chapter of my new story The Past And The Future!!!!!!!! Please check it out and tell me what you think!!!!!!!! The second chapter will be up soon!!! Anyway, I just checked this story's traffic and I should tell you it's got about 1000 hits and 288 visitors!! I get like 20-25 reviews per chapter!!! Come on guys you can do better than that!!!! Oh, well I don't want to whine about it and you probably want to read the next chapter, so I'll stop here!!!!!! Enjoy!!!!!**

Chapter 15 – Sirius Black

I stood in the astronomy tower gazing at the sky. This was the worst time of the day for me; twilight.

Since I woke up in this new life, I hated it with passion. Back then, I wanted to be the creature of the darkest of nights. Right now, I wanted to be the creature of the brightest of days. But in the end, I was always the creature of the twilight. I was still dark and dangerous but now I wished hard that I wasn't trapped in this body… I've never thought like that before but things had changed since I met Harry. He made me want to be better; he made me wish that I wasn't a monster, that I could become the mother figure he needed; the mother figure that Lily would have wanted me to become for her son… For years I kept torturing myself with that thought. For years I kept wishing that things were different, that I was different… But I wasn't…

As Isabella, the deatheater I was vicious and cruel. As Bella, member of The Order of The Phoenix I was harsh and determined. Either way, I was far from giving my godson other than protection and that pained me deeply. Since Lily's and James's deaths I had withdrawn in my shell. I had no essential contact with other creatures except for Albus and rarely Remus and Hagrid, but even they couldn't help me. Deep down I had become again the depressed girl that Edward had abandoned, only this time I couldn't drown my self in depression because I had a purpose, a mission to complete.

Harry was the only reason I kept existing, if that was what I did. The only reason I kept fighting. So, if the Dark Lord was defeated and if everything I hoped for came true, then Harry would grow up to be a healthy happy man with a bright future; he wouldn't need me then. When he was safe and every threat was vanquished, I would be free to rest peacefully. Whether by another deatheater after the Dark Lord was gone or by the Volturi, I would ask for death. I would ask for salvation. I would ask for peace. Because even if I loved Harry, I could not forget the reason I was brought to this life. I could not forget why I was found alone in that alley fifteen years ago by my worst nightmare. I could not forget that somewhere out there Edward Cullen was breathing without me…

I sighed loudly. This really wasn't helping. I'd better go and find Remus.

As I was walking in the long corridor I bumped into something huge. Next thing I knew I was lifted in the air and was twirled around…

"Hagrid, what the hell?? Put me down!!!" I growled frustrated

"Oh, Belly!!!" he laughed happily and kept twirling me

Could vampires get sick? I thought I was about to!

"I said put me down and stop calling me that!!!!" I growled again

"Alright, alright! Here you go, Belly!!!" he smiled as I felt my feet touching solid ground again

"What's your problem today??? And why are you so excited anyway???" I asked angrily

"It's Buckbeack!! He ran away!! Mackner couldn't execute him because he was gone when we got there!!!!! Isn't it wonderful, Belly?"

Right! The Hyppogrif! I hadn't exactly forgotten about it but even if I cared for Hagrid a great deal, I really didn't feel comfortable with him getting emotional while in my presence!! What could I say? Me and my bloody past!!!

"Yeah, it's wonderful, Hagrid!!" I answered half heartedly

"I know!!!! My little love!!! He's so smart!!!!" Hagrid said with a fanatic look of adoration in his face

"Wait a minute! You said he ran away! I thought he was chained!" I told him with suspicion

"Well, he was but he must have cut of the chain!! I mean I wasn't even there!!!" Hagrid said excited

The beast cut of a magical chain?? Hmmm… Why did I have the slight suspicion that those three kids have gone out of line again? Damn, if that was the case I should do something fast, before the minister found out they were involved!

I ran fast ignoring Hagrid's yells behind me. Poor giant, he must have been confused by my behavior but I had no time to go back and explain.

Two minutes later I was standing in the very spot that Hagrid's recent pet was chained. He had some taste in animals, although I had to admit I preferred this one better than the huge spiders. The beast was long gone but its sent remained in the area. I drew in a big breath and focused on tracing human scents. There was definitely Hagrid's scent, heavy and not at all tasty and then there were two more.

"Bloody hell!!" I cursed under my breath

The first was flowery, like lavender. Hermione. The second was more spicy, something like cinnamon. Harry. What were those two thinking, getting themselves in this kind of trouble??

_Look who's__ talking!!!!! _A voice mocked in my head

_Shut up!!!! _I thought back

Just then I caught the sound of footsteps and a familiar scent hit my nose. Severus Snape was running like the devil completely to the opposite direction from where I stood. Where the hell was he going in such a hurry??? And where were those kids?? Why wasn't Ronald with them?? This wasn't good! This wasn't good at all!!! There was a bloody murderer on the loose!!! What was everyone thinking in this school?

I followed Snape closely. He kept walking without figuring a thing!!! The dumbass!!! I can't believe he kept bragging to me about how great he was in defending himself in all kinds of situations!!!! I could kill him and he didn't even know I was there!! When this little trip was over, I would have a chat with him about this!!! He was supposed to keep his eyes open!!!

I kept following him until he stopped abruptly in front of the _Whomping Willow. Next thing I knew he disappeared in a gap between the roots holding a cloak that I haven't seen in many years. _

_What the hell was going on here?_

_I walked towards the gap when I felt a tingle in my side. Oh, right! The tree was attacking me. I extended my arm and held the branch trying not to damage it! God knew what professor Sprout would do to me! I stepped in the gap and found myself in a long corridor._

_Hmmm, obviously it led to Hogsmide. I sniffed the air again. This time there were many scents all over the place!!!!! _

___Snape____,__ I thought_

___Werewolf… hmmmm… Harry, Ron and Hermione…. Right_

_Just at that moment I caught one more scent that I__ hadn't smelled for years. I started running like crazy._

_************************************************************************************************************_

_Snape was lying unconscious on the floor and Sirius claimed that Peter was alive! __Remus for a reason he only knew believed Sirius, Ron and Hermione were scared to death and Harry was seething with anger. As for me, I was standing outside the bloody door trying hard not to barge in there and kill the man who once was my friend. _

_"You shouldn't have done that" I heard Sirius say. "You should have left him to me…"_

_"We attacked our teacher!!" Hermione yelled hysterically_

_I heard Remus struggling in the floor trying to get rid of the ropes that were tying him._

_I had two options. One, stay here, where I was close enough to protect Harry and the other two kids and hear what Sirius had to say. Two, go in there, where I could still protect Harry and listen to Sirius's explanation looking at him straight in the eye. _

_I sighed. I already knew what I was going to do anyway._

_Next second I was leaning over Remus untying him and helping him up._

_The room was very silent now. Obviously, I had managed to startle them all._

_"Izzie?" I heard a pained voice asking_

_"Harry is expecting an explanation, Sirius. Don't keep him waiting!" I said coldly facing my once brother._

_His eyes filled with sadness by my attitude. Remus sighed._

_"Will anyone tell me what's going on?" Harry asked outraged_

_"Izzie and I used to be friends once" Sirius said simply_

_"Sirius maybe you should explain!" Remus said eyeing me carefully. He knew better than to mess with me about this._

_"Alright!" Sirius answered_

_I stood there motionless while he was explaining how he figured out the rat was Peter__ when he looked at the picture of Ron and his family while they were having vacations in Egypt. _

_Harry, however, was not easy to convince at all._

_"Harry" Remus told him "Don't you understand? All these years I thought Sirius had betrayed your parents and that Peter had hunted him down. But it was exactly the opposite that happened, don't you see? Peter betrayed your mother and father and Sirius hunted him down…"_

_"That's not true!" Harry shouted "He was their secret's keeper!!! He admitted it before you came!! He said he killed them!!!"_

_"Harry… what I meant was that it was like I had killed them!" Sirius sighed "I convinced your parents the last moment to use Peter instead of me. It's my fault, I know…" he continued his voice breaking_

_"Prove it" I spoke for the first time and everyone looked at me "If you're innocent, then prove it. The rat is still here!" Harry looked at me and then nodded_

_Ron gave his rat to Remus._

_After that everything seemed to be happening in slow motion; the flash of light and then the turning of the little animal in a human. And then the light was gone and Peter Pettigrew was standing in front of us._

_"Hello, Peter! Long time, no see" Remus said casually. Sirius was silent._

_"S… Sirius… Remus… My old friends!" Peter stuttered_

_"You know, Peter, we were just discussing Lily's and James's deaths!!! Maybe you could enlighten us!!" Remus continued as if there was no interruption_

_"He did it!!!! He killed them!!!!" Pettigrew screamed pointing at Sirius "And now he's here to kill me as well!!!!" _

_For the next hour Sirius and Peter kept blaming each other for the murder of Lily and James Potter. My insides were burning with anger I was trying hard to suppress. If I lost control and snapped now, I could harm Harry; I could harm the other children. I tried to focus in the conversation in front of me and step out of my haze._

_"Pease…" Sirius was saying looking at Harry "Please believe me! I never betrayed Lily and James to Voldemort! I would rather have died than do that to your parents!!!" he insisted desperately_

_Harry nodded. __Inwardly I nodded as well. All these years, I accused the wrong person while the real responsible for this was under my very nose. The guilt and fear overtook me. What would have happened if Sirius hadn't let us know? Peter could have easily taken Harry's life away!!! I was supposed to protect him!!! _

___You were supposed to have faith____ in your brother also!!!!__ My mind accused me_

_"No" Peter screamed and fell in his knees begging everyone in the room to spare his life. First Sirius then Remus, Ron and Hermione. _

_"Harry…" Pettigrew turned to my godson "You look so much like your father…" he started and at that moment I saw red. My anger and pain and loneliness for the past twelve years rose like a tidal wave and left no reason to the surface._

_I growled a terrible growl and moved in front of my godson. Peter moved away panicked. _

_"How dare you?" I hissed "How dare you talk about James in front of his son?" I asked murder on my pitch black eyes._

_"I…. I…. You're a deatheater yourself!!!" Peter accused me like a coward_

_"Shut up!!" Harry hissed at him "You don't even know her!!!"_

_"I don't know her?" Peter laughed hysterically "And you think you do?"_

_"Peter if you say another word, I swear to God it will be your last!!!" Remus shouted angrily _

_Obviously, he could see now what I meant when I said that Harry shouldn't know who I was! This was exactly what I was afraid of!! My past would hurt Harry and that was something I could never allow to happen!!!_

_"Why not, Remus? After all you are going to kill me anyway!!" Pettigrew screamed looking half crazed_

_"I told you to shut up!!!!" Harry screamed viciously _

_"What's the matter, little Harry?" Peter asked mockingly _

_"You can't bear to hear that your godmother is a murderer?" he continued and the room was suddenly very silent…_

_AN:__ The end!!! You know how I like a good cliffhanger!!!!!! Now, before you all start asking about Bella and Snape, yes, they have a connection but it will be long before you get to know that!!!! I hope you liked it, I know it's kind of short but I have some trouble with my writing lately!!!! Anyway, please leave a review to tell me what you think and you'll get the next chapter's sneak peak!!!! Oh, please don't forget to check out my other story and tell me what you think!!!!!! _

_Take care,_

_El _


	17. Chapter 17

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, songs etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of each author. The author of this fan fiction is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended, only for entertaining purposes. This story is rated T.**

**Ok, I know I've been neglecting my story lately and I'm really sorry about that cause I know that there are some people that want me to update pretty badly! I'm really sorry guys!!! I guess life has caught up with me and I have a lot of things to take care of, plus it is summer and I get out a lot!!!!! Anyway, I send you all a big hug cause the last chapter got so much love from everyone who read it and I really didn't expect that!!! So, thanks to everyone who reviewed and added this story in their alerts and favorites lists!!! I really appreciate your support!!!!!!! To all the new people that just found out about this ****story, welcome!!!!**

**I want to do one last thing before I give you the story! Obviously you all know that I answer in all the reviews I get and give you the sneak peak of the next chapter! However, there are some people that are not signed in this site and others that for their own reasons have blocked their PMs. Clearly I can't answer to any of them! And I feel really bad about that so, I thought to try and answer at the beginning of each chapter and see how this plays out… **

**To ****Christina:**** Thank you for your kind words!!!! It was really nice to know that you agree with my way of writing so much!!! I hope to hear from you again!!!! Thank you for reviewing!**

**To ****Yipes:**** Thanks you!!! I'm glad you liked it!!! I can't promise to stop giving you cliffhangers!! I LOVE THEM!!**

**To ****B:**** Thanks! I hope you'll enjoy the new update!**

**To ****ADarkGinny:**** Thank you!**

**To ****hikari mae:**** Thanks!!! It's always good to know!!!**

**There's one more but it doesn't have a name on! Anyway, thanks to the person who left that too!**

**I hope it hasn't been too tiring to anyone but I felt like I had to do this!!!! So, on with the chapter!**

Chapter 16 – Explanations

When I was little my mother used to tell me that sometimes peoples lives collide with fate. At those moments we watch our lives like the spectators in a theatre; we are there during the play but we cannot participate in it. Just suffer in agony until we find out how it ends. Some people like the end of the play, others don't…

Until now I was always part of the second category. My collisions with fate never brought me the result that I wished and hoped for. I never forgot that. So, much to my dismay, I chose to ignore the inner workings of the universe against me. And now here I sat watching my godson struggling to understand what he has just been told.

"W… What?" Hermione stuttered

"You're lying!!!! Harry's parents would never make someone that dangerous his godmother!!!!" Ron yelled to Peter who sat at the floor crying and laughing at the same time.

Sirius was looking to Harry, then back at me, then back to Harry with surprise. Obviously, he had no idea how Harry was raised over these years.

Remus was looking at me apologetically. Clearly, he could see now what I have been going on about all this time.

And Harry… Well, Harry was standing there gaping at me saying nothing.

"Harry, please listen to us" Remus pleaded

Harry just looked at him

"I promise we can explain everything" Remus insisted

Harry turned to face me again.

I could see the pain in those green eyes. The very pain I kept hiding in my heart for all these years. Knowing that I was the one inflicting that pain to him, I wanted to dug a hole and disappear from the world forever. But I knew I couldn't do that to him. I could see he needed an explanation. An explanation that I dreaded to give but I had no other choice but to do so. I would be honest with Harry; more honest than I've been in years. I would explain and then I would expect for the rejection that I was sure would come. The rejection from the most important person in the world for me… Rejection from Lily's son… From my son…

Remus kept pleading with him but Harry never took his eyes of me. He was expecting me to speak to him, to say something.

Damn!! I had to fix this! But before I could open my mouth to speak Peter had lunged at Harry begging him

"Harry please!!! Your father wouldn't kill me!!! Your father would understand!!!! Please!!!"

Sirius moved forth and dragged him off of Harry's feet.

"You should have known, Peter! If Voldemort didn't kill you then we would!!!" he told him aiming him with his wand

Remus stood next to him. I was looking at them feeling numb. Suddenly the room melted away and I was standing in a meadow looking at their eyes.

"_You should have known, Bella! If James didn't kill you then we would!" Victoria said _

"_Victoria, stop playing with our food" Laurent scolded at her_

"_James died on her behalf!!" she growled angrily_

"_Still, she is our food! And I'm thirsty!" Laurent said and looked at me with his pitch black eyes._

_I sat there looking at them helplessly. Who could ever stop them? They were going to kill me. Victoria growled a terrible growl and I closed my eyes._

"No!" I heard someone yelling and I came abruptly back to the present.

Harry was standing in front of Sirius and Remus blocking Pettigrew from their sight.

I was still looking at them doing nothing. The shock of my memory was too strong.

"Harry, what are you doing? He is the reason you don't have parents!" Sirius said angrily

"I know, but he's right. Dad wouldn't do this to him. Besides, if you kill him you'll end up in Azkaban again!" Harry answered

"Harry! Harry!! I knew you wouldn't do this!!! I knew you were like your father!!" Peter screamed and hugged Harry's legs

That did it!! Looking at Peter Pettigrew hugging my godson and speaking for my brother as if he wasn't the one who was responsible for his death, snapped me out of my trance.

The next moment I was shoving Peter away from Harry angrily.

"He said he doesn't want them to kill you, but the dementors are out there waiting for a prisoner. Do you really think they'll leave without one, Peter?" I sneered at him venom dripping with every word that came out of my mouth

Pettigrew started shaking badly.

"I had forgotten about that!" Remus said

"We need to get out of here now!" I said finally starting to act like myself.

They all nodded.

"Remus and I will get him!" I said pointing disgusted at Pettigrew, who was sobbing in the floor.

"What about professor Snape?" Hermione asked seriously

"Sirius can handle that" I answered looking at him casually. He grinned.

"Lets go" Remus said

************************************************************************************************************

The door was guarded.

Bloody hell!!! I had to find a way to get in!

After everything that had happened tonight, Sirius owed me an explanation. So, ministry or not I would bloody get what I wanted!

I cursed my stupidity one more time. How in the world did I forget that it was a full moon tonight? I mean I'm a vampire, I'm not supposed to forget! And now here I was trying to sneak in the room that Sirius was kept until the dementors kissed him goodbye forever…

When they arrested him I was in the Forbidden Forest chasing away Remus in his werewolf form while Pettigrew was running away. I intended to set Sirius free the moment I came back to the castle but Dumbledore beat me on that. He forbade me from doing anything to help Sirius. He told me that if I helped him it would be too obvious that it was me and then the ministry would hunt me down as well. Obviously, that meant that the plan Albus and I were working for years would be blown away. On the other hand, I felt extremely guilty towards Sirius. He had helped me at a time that no one else would but at the first test of honor I had betrayed him.

How could I turn my back on him now?

So here I was trying to figure out a way to help him!

Good job, Bella!! If you think a little slower than this you might get there in time to see him being parted from his soul!

Obviously, it was impossible to get in from the front door.

_Well, I guess it's time for plan B__!_ I thought

I moved on the other side of the corridor and opened the window. It was a good thing that my balance was improved since I was a human. It wouldn't be too healthy to climb in a tower with my clumsiness!

I moved ahead and tapped the window. Thankfully our beloved minister had left his elusive prisoner on his own. Still, I had to be very careful. A wrong move could ruin everything.

Sirius opened the window grinning.

"You know I thought better of you than hanging around like Tarzan!!" he said eyeing me jumping in the room without making any noise at all.

"And since when does a wizard such as yourself knows Tarzan?" I asked mockingly turning to face him

"I used to read muggle books to annoy my parents!" he answered casually and sat down

"You're such a jackass, Black!!!" I answered in the same tone

"And you love me for it!" came the cheesy answer

"It's not exactly love I've been feeling for you all these years!" I told him wanting to mess with his spirits

"Right" he said looking sad

"You should hate me, Izzie! What I did was unforgivable!" he continued

"You're referring to the fact that you and the rat switched places without telling us or the fact that you went after him on your own without telling us again or the fact that you landed yourself in prison for the past twelve years or maybe the fact that you attacked to Ronald tonight just to get to Peter??" I asked him angrily

He grinned

"You always had a way of making me feel bad about myself, I admit!" He told me

"You should feel really bad, Black!! You're in some deep shit!!" I answered harshly

"I know that! You used to be a bit nicer back when we were all together!" he pointed out

"It's been a long time since then" I answered quietly

"What happened, Izzie?" he asked concerned

"The past is not our problem, Sirius! The future is!!! You forget that Pettigrew run away?" I told him angrily

"No, I haven't forgotten!! We are our experiences, Izzie!! I want to know what happened to you!!" he insisted

"I grew up!! That's what happened!! The question is have you grown up, Sirius?"

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"That means that the minister needs a prisoner to put the blame on and since Peter's not around any more, you will be that prisoner!!" I growled

"I'm not afraid of the dementors, Izzie!! Not now that you all know I'm innocent!" he replied calmly

"Oh, really?" I asked outraged "What about Harry, Sirius? He just found out he has a godfather! How do you think he will feel if your soul leaves your body forever?"

He sighed

"I don't have any answers, Izzie! I just did what I thought that was right to do! Besides, no one really explained to me why Harry was shocked when Peter said that you are his godmother!!!"

"Harry will be devastated if anything happens to you! As for me, he was shocked because until this day he had no idea that I was his godmother!" I said quietly

"What do you mean?" he asked looking at me with wide eyes

"Harry and I met two months ago. I hadn't seen him since he was a baby."

"What?" he yelled

"Shhh!! Are you crazy? You want to bring in the guards?"

"What do you mean you haven't seen him since he was a baby? Who raised the kid?" he kept on as if I hadn't spoken

"His only family by blood" I replied finally understanding how difficult Dumbledore's decision was at the time.

"Who…?" he started asking and then stopped abruptly mimicking my expression when I was first told the news.

"No! No! Izzie you didn't!!! You didn't gave James's and Lily's son to that woman!!!" he screamed

The next minute the door burst open and the guards came in.

"What's wrong here?" they asked Sirius

"Nothing!!! I… I'm just preparing my apology" he answered back seriously

The guards looked at each other and then laughed. I only got out of my hiding place after the door was closed safely behind them.

Sirius looked at me

"There was a time that I would bet my life that you wouldn't go hiding when one of us was in trouble" he told me silently

"And to that I hold, Sirius! But now I have to be careful, it's not about me anymore!"

"Who is it for?" he asked coldly

"Harry" I replied in the same tone

"Bella, I don't understand anything!" he told me sighing and sat in a chair.

I took the chair opposite him.

"You need to understand, Sirius! I never gave Harry willingly to that woman!" I told him sincerity ringing in my voice

"Oh, really?" he said sarcastically "And who did?"

"Dumbledore"

"What are you…" he started but I cut him of

"Let me explain! Hopefully your thick head will understand!!"

I explained everything to him. How I had found out and argued with Albus about it, how he had convinced me explaining the blood shield that Lily created with her death. He tried to look composed but after all my years of experience reading the human race, I could see the burning anger right trough his calm façade.

"So let me get this straight" he said when I finished talking

"Harry was raised by Lily's sister because of a powerful magic shield that lied in Lily's blood and you wondered around the world for twelve years doing something that none of us is supposed to know because it's extremely dangerous???" he asked and I nodded

"And the elephants will come out before or after the clowns?" he asked sarcastically

That was it!!! The calm approach obviously didn't work!! The next moment I was leaning across the table my pitch black eyes boring straight into his.

"I have been running around the world like crazy for the past twelve years trying to find something that cannot be found only to keep Harry safe!!!" I whispered dangerously

"Do not doubt my love and devotion to that child, Black!!! I have given Lily's son my life and everything I do is only for his benefit!!!" I continued

Sirius looked at his hands embarrassed

"I'm sorry! I guess I feel a bit left out!!!" he told me quietly

"Believe me if you knew about this, you'd beg to be left out!" I said

"So what's going to happen now, Izzie?"

"We need to find a way to get you out without turning the suspicions on me" I answered

"Iz, that's like asking for snow in the middle of July!" he snorted

"Besides, it's too dangerous! If, whatever it is you do is important, then I don't want to blow your cover" he told me seriously

"I won't leave you here to loose your soul, Sirius!!"

"Don't you think it's a little too late for me?"

"No, I don't!! Think about it! Harry needs to have one of his godparents with a soul!!"

"Both of his godparents have a soul, Iz!!! At least for now!!!" he answered

But before I could answer I was cut of by a knock in the window.

"What the…?" Sirius said

Outside there were Harry and Hermione riding the back of a very familiar Hippogriff.

"Well, come on!!! We don't have all day!!!" Harry said and I laughed

Sirius climbed behind the kids and I felt relieved.

"Izzie?" Sirius asked looking back at me

"It won't hold us all!" I said

Three pair of eyes rested on me

"Izzie…"

"Bella…." Harry and Sirius both started

"Go" I answered

"But…" Hermione said surprising me. She always gave me the impression that she didn't think much of me.

"From the four of us I'm the one with the inhuman abilities! I can take care of myself!" I told to the kids and then I turned to Sirius

"Go save your butt, Black!!! You and I will have a lot of time to finish our little conversation another time!!! You still haven't given me a proper explanation!!!" I told him and he laughed

"For such a serious lady such as yourself you worry too much about my butt, my dear Izzie!!!" he said mockingly and I growled at him

"Get the idiot out of here!!!" I told the kids

Harry with one last look at me that I didn't miss whiled the beast away.

I stepped out of the window and climbed the wall to the other window that I had left open in the corridor. I jumped in and closed it behind me. Then I rushed down the hall. Their chill hit me just in time to hide to a secret passage. I listened intently for voices to be heard.

Fudge and Dumbledore were walking down the aisle with Snape trailing behind them. Two dementors were on each of their sides. I let them pass me and then emerged from the shadows behind them.

"Professor Dumbledore!" I said loudly making everyone jump except for Albus and the dementors

"Ah, miss Swan!" Fudge said

"Minister" I answered with a little bow

"I just finished from the library as you have asked me, professor" I said and held out a bunch of papers for Dumbledore to take

"Ah, of course my dearest, Bella!!! Thank you so much for doing this!!!" Albus answered kindly

"What is it?" the minister asked curiously

"Oh, it's a cure for baldness!!" Dumbledore answered casually

"You see, Cornelius a very dear friend of mine suffers from it and I promised to help him but I didn't have the time to make that research myself so I asked Bella if she could do it for me!!" he finished

"If you don't need me, professor, then I would like to go and see how professor Lupin is doing tonight." I said innocently

"What do you mean?? Lupin is not even in the castle" the minister answered bewildered and Snape looked at me suspiciously

Cornelius Fudge, like many deatheaters before him, thought that I was used by Voldemort because I was an idiot. The fact that for the past twelve years every time he happened to see me I pretended to be just that, an idiot of a vampire that was addicted to her thirst and killed innocent people at first but now had turned good and became Dumbledore's loyal puppy, didn't help our mighty minister to understand that I was far more than that.

"Sir?" I asked him feigning confusion

"Bella dear, you have no idea what has happened, don't you?" Dumbledore asked me and I nodded no….

I had stalled them enough.

Sirius was saved….

**AN:**** I hope you enjoyed the long chapter!!! Obviously, you all wonder where is HARRY'S REACTION!!! Next chapter will make everything clear to you!!! I'm sorry to say but it will take sometime to update again because I'm really busy at the moment! The good thing is that there is one more chapter and then THE CULLENS are in!!! Finally!!!! Please leave me some love on your reviews and I'll show you mine by giving you the sneak peak of the next chapter!!!! Thanks for being so patient with me!!!!**

**Take care,**

**El**


	18. Chapter 18

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, songs etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of each author. The author of this fan fiction is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended, only for entertaining purposes. This story is rated T.**

**Wow!!! Is that me updating??? I believe so!!!! Sorry, for the long wait guys!!! I started exams again in the university and it's really difficult to update!!!! However, I know how much you're looking forward for this so I can't really disappoint you by not giving you the new chapter!!!!! ****Thanks for the great support all this time!!!! I'm sorry if I missed answering some reviews!!! I've been really busy!!! I promise it won't happen again!!! Anyway, I'll stop but please read the note in the end of the story! It's really important!!!!**

**Enjoy!!!!**

Chapter 17 – The most important thing

"Remus!!!" I whined

He looked at me from the other side of the room smiling.

"Izzie, come on!!! I mean, you're acting like an eighteen year old!!!" he told me and landed the last pile of books in his suitcase.

"That's because I am an eighteen year old, you idiot!!!" I growled playfully

"No, you are frozen at eighteen but your real age is…"

"Alright, alright!!! I'm not saying a word!" I cut him of before he could tell the cursed number!

"Izzie!! You seriously need to grow up!!!" he said between laughs

"I think I'm gonna grow up as much as possible, thank you very much!!!" I answered offended

"Really?? Funny, I'd swear that you haven't aged a day since I first met you!!!!" he answered smiling cheekily

The book landed right in his hands.

Damn werewolf reflexes!!!!!!!

"You seriously just threw me a book? Man, you are an eighteen year old!!!!" he roared with laughter

"Jackass!!!!" I huffed angrily

A soft laugh came from the doorway and the next minute I was facing a pair of emerald green eyes.

"Harry!!" Remus said happily

"Professor!" he answered smiling

"Not anymore!!" Remus said smiling sadly

That reminded me, Snape and I would have a talk!

"Yes, so I've heard but professor couldn't you just…" Harry started but Remus cut him of

"No, Harry, I couldn't!"

"But…"

"Trust me I know! I could stay now but when the owls start coming with letters from outraged parents that a werewolf is teaching their children Dumbledore will find himself in a very difficult position!!! I wouldn't do that to him!!" Remus explained calmly

Here we were again. The sad truth of our nature had kicked in again. I, myself thought that Remus should stay in Hogwarts but I couldn't tell him that exactly because I understood the prejudice against him. It was funny how we, werewolves and vampires, were mortal enemies but we had that in common. We were all monsters…

Ah, well! At least, Remus was not a deatheater…

"Will I see you again?" Harry asked sadly

"Yes, Harry! You will see me again!! I can definitely promise you that!" Remus answered with a smile

Harry sighed and nodded.

"I should go! Harry, I believe this is yours!" Remus said and gave him a piece of parchment which I recognised as James's favourite toy apart from his broomstick. The Marauders map.

Harry smiled and thanked him.

"Iz, something tells me that I'll see you soon!!!" Remus half smiled and half laughed

"Of course you will!! Until then, go keep an eye to that idiot friend of yours, won't you? Make him keep his fluffy tail out of trouble!" I answered sarcastically

Remus laughed, waved a hand at us and walked out the door.

Harry turned to look at me.

Right, I owed him an explanation.

"Harry, I…"

"You…"

We both started to speak.

"You first" I told him and he sighed

"You are my godmother" he said. It was not a question.

"Yes" I answered

"Why?" he asked

"Well, your parents decided and I told them they shouldn't but they didn't listen and then I…."

"Bella!!" he said and I stopped bubbling

"Yes?" I replied

"I don't want to know why you are my godmother. I want to know why you didn't tell me!" he said calmly

"Oh…" I answered

"Harry, I…"

"Was it because you didn't want to be related to the boy-who-lived? Or because you thought if I found out then you would be stuck with me for good? Or is it because you're a deatheater and you're on Voldemort's side? But that doesn't make sense cause you could have killed me all this time but you didn't and I…" he stopped and looked at me uncertainty clear in his eyes

The next moment I was standing right in front of him my hands a firm grip at his shoulders.

"Never, not for a moment you must think that I don't love you, Harry!!!" I told him my voice ringing with sincerity

"Your father was there for me at a time that no sane person would ever come near me. Your mother believed in me with a strength that I never deserved. If I am a little better person today, I owe that to your parents!"

Harry shuffled his feet and looked at the floor.

"That doesn't explain why you left me, though." His voice was barely above a whisper

"Harry, please look at me"

He raised his head and I could see his eyes glistening with unshed tears.

"When you were born…" I said my voice breaking

"When you were born I was there. I helped your mother give birth to you. I was the first one to hold you in my arms. That moment I swore to myself that if I had to go to the other side of the world for your sake then I would do it! I would do it, Harry!!!! And until this day I hold true to my words!!!" I told him decisively

"So you're not here out of obligation?" he asked uncertainly

"No" I answered firmly

He sighed and then did the one thing I was most afraid of. He turned away from me.

"Harry?" this time I was uncertain

"It's just so frustrating, you know? All these years I thought I was on my own and in one day I found out that I have a godfather who was in jail for a crime he never committed and a godmother who loves me but left me alone for thirteen years!!!" he said angrily turning his back on me and wiping away a tear.

"I just don't understand a thing!!!" he continued

"Harry, you have every right to be angry with me. I left you to fend for yourself in the most tender years of your life. No child should ever go through what you did…"

"How do you know what I went through?" he asked cutting me of

"I… Well, I asked from Dumbledore to keep a very close eye on you. That was the deal for me to let you go live with your uncle and aunt." I answered truthfully

"I don't understand. If you knew what kind of persons they were then why did you let me go live with them? You said you love me!!!!" he asked accusingly

"I do love you, Harry." I answered calmly "Please let me explain things from the beginning."

He simply nodded.

"You need to understand, Harry. Your parents meant the world to me. No one had ever cared for me as much as they did. Your mother…" my voice broke at her thought. I hadn't talked about them with anyone. I had just buried the pain and moved on. For Harry's sake…

"Your mother, Lily, she had so much faith in me, Harry. She was so certain that I was a good person, that I wasn't a monster…"

"You are not a monster!!" he cut me in furiously

His words caught me by surprise. He had just found out I had abandoned him when I should have stayed with him. He was supposed to hate me…

"Oh, but I am. It's just that now I'm a different kind of monster than back then!" I said and raised my hand before he could speak again

"No, let me finish. I am a monster. Physically, I will never stop being a monster. Of course I can try and prevent myself from harming others and it is possible that I'll succeed. But you need to understand, Harry that the dark side of my nature will always lurk in the shadows. I cannot change that. As I cannot change my past." I said seriously

Never in my whole existence I couldn't see more clear than this what Edward meant when he was telling me he was monster… Never in my whole existence I hadn't agreed more with him…

"You were a deatheater" he stated calmly

"No, Harry, I wasn't a deatheater." He looked at me strangely

"You weren't?" he asked stunned

"No, I wasn't. You see, it is wrong use of tense cause I still am a deatheater." I said truthfully

"I… You… How?" he muttered

"I understand your confusion. Let me explain myself." I said

He looked at me and nodded.

"Before I became a deatheater, well…. Let's just say I had a difficult time. I had just been turned to a vampire and I couldn't control my thirst at all. When Lord Voldemort found me I had no choice but to follow him. You see, Harry he found my gift very intriguing…"

"You're a shield." He cut me of

"I'm a shield. That and my bloodlust earned me a place within the deatheaters. I used to give in so much to my predator's instincts that I was consumed by my need of blood. Before I knew it I had become one of the most dangerous and elusive deatheaters for the ministry of magic. Lord Voldemort was so certain of my faith in him and that was why he assigned me a task; a task that no other deatheater would be capable of fulfilling. Spying…"

"Wait a minute you're a spy?" he asked dumfounded

"Yes, but not exactly as you imagine." I answered

"I suppose it has something to do with the task Voldemort gave you." He said sarcastically

"Exactly, I went to him that day and he asked me to go to Dumbledore and tell him how sorry I was for killing all those people. He asked me to earn Dumbledore's trust and learn every move he was about to do…"

"But Dumbledore didn't eat that?" Harry asked smugly

"No, he didn't. The moment he saw me on his doorstep he knew I was there for a reason that had nothing to do with my will; yet he didn't kill me as I expected him to have done." I paused remembering that day all those years ago; the day that my life changed completely…

"What happened?" Harry asked intrigued by my story

"He told me to join the good forces; exactly what Lord Voldemort had desired. He even assigned me a teacher to help me with my new diet. Animals." I said with a grimace

Harry chuckled.

"So who was your teacher?"

"Oh! Now that's the funny part! My teacher was no other than Remus Lupin!"

"No way!!! Remus is a werewolf!!!" Harry said dumbfounded

"You know that was my first reaction as well, but the truth is that Remus proved all the prejudices wrong!" I answered smiling

"You became friends?"

"Yes but it was something more than that, Harry. My present state has nothing to do with what I used to be. I was a wild newborn who had never experienced any kind of control over her thirst and was always told that monsters can't make friends. You can imagine my surprise when Remus, a werewolf, was kind enough to try and teach me not only how to feed but also how to become a person again…" I told him feeling a rush of emotion

"He had always been my mentor. Always there when I needed him." I continued

"I'm sorry" Harry said

"For what?" I asked surprised

"For everything you went through" he said sadly

"Harry, you weren't even born at the time" I answered smiling

"Still, I am sorry." He repeated

"Don't be." I answered firmly and he smiled

"Now where was I?" I asked him

"To the part that Remus became your teacher." He chuckled

"Oh, yes! Well, we moved in a house close to the forest and Remus started teaching me. And then your parents moved in!!!" I told him dramatically

"What? Why?" he asked half stunned and half laughing

"Don't ask me! All I know was that one day I came back from a hunt and found your mother in the living room trying to persuade Remus and Sirius to change the furniture!" I sighed dramatically and Harry laughed

"What did you do?"

"I stormed in, asked what the hell was going on just to be greeted by your mother as if I was her long lost friend and not the most dangerous predator that's ever walked the earth!!! I swear the woman was crazy!!" I told him seriously and he laughed harder

"What about dad?" he asked me when he calmed down a bit

"He acted sane. Well, alright not too much!" that caused another fit of laughter from Harry's side.

"You know I don't appreciate this, young man!! You parents were a pain in the ass and I won't even start about your godfather!!!"

"I hadn't realized that you knew them all so well!!!" he told me

"I tried to keep my distance from you, Harry. I don't want to get you in danger."

"You know in case you haven't noticed I'm getting in danger anyway!!!" he told me amazingly calm

"Yeah, I know!! Your father used to do that too!!! It infuriated your mother to no end!!!" I chuckled at the memory

Harry looked at me

"What?" I asked

"Nothing. It's just you seem so happy when you talk about them." He said

"Those were the best moments of my life, Harry. You see, up to a point I could understand Remus's friendship. He was the kind monster and I was the vicious one. I think that he took pity of me and he tried to help me…"

"None of the two of you is a monster! And he did help you!" Harry cut me of

"Yes, he did. But you need to understand, Harry. I can never be the kind, caring person that Remus is. My experiences are much too vile for that." I told him truthfully

"I think I understand what you mean, Bella; although I'm not sure what to think of you yet. Now, I'd like to hear the rest of the story." He answered in the same tone.

I nodded and continued.

"So your parents and Sirius had moved in the house for some time. It was difficult for me to be around them without attacking them for their blood; especially your mother. Then a change happened again." I stopped remembering that night

"It was a full moon. I got myself in the wrong place at the wrong time and well, Remus attacked me. I don't need to tell you here how bad he felt afterwards for that… The thing is your father and your godfather saved my life that night. That was how I found out that they were animagi." Harry was looking at me absolutely concentrated to my words.

"Now, in this point I believe I should tell you a little bit more about my thoughts over the matter." I said and he nodded

"Lord Voldemort's task was simple. Get in a spy to figure out what Dumbledore was up to. Personally, I knew that whatever side I chose it would be the end of me because the other side would hunt me down. That was why I was so reluctant to go to Dumbledore at the first place. That was why I didn't want to change my diet. It was a matter of power. I needed to be strong enough to eliminate any threats against me. I needed to survive…" I paused to see the effect of my words. Harry was looking at me.

It was at times like this that I wished I had Edward's or Jasper's gifts. If I did, I would know what Harry was thinking right now and I wouldn't have to taste the agony of his possible rejection…

"As I already told you Albus did not react the way I expected him to. He, Remus and Hagrid tried to get me to open up to them; and they did; up to a point. Still, I never let go. I always tried to keep my distance from them. I tried to make things more formal so when the time would come to betray them, I would not feel guilty. You need to understand, Harry, in my world there was no space for guilt. I was a deatheater. I had an order. I had to kill to stay alive."

"What changed?" he asked quietly

"The circumstances; or at least that's what I told myself." I said sarcastically

"James and Sirius had saved my life so I owed them. I would not betray them to Lord Voldemort." I said

Harry was looking at me unsatisfied.

"They offered to help me with my hunt. I saw it as an opportunity that I shouldn't miss, or again that's what I wanted to believe. The Dark Lord was pleased with me changing my diet or else why would he have sent me to Dumbledore? He knew there was no other way to fool everyone but that. So I took their offer." I declared

"You used them?" he asked with a hint of anger

"I thought I was using them. But the truth is that the more time I was spending with them the more difficult it was becoming to betray their trust."

"I… I don't understand…" he said confused

"Isn't it obvious, Harry?" I asked and before he could answer I continued

"I loved them. I didn't know back then but I loved them. When Lord Voldemort asked me where your parents were, I told him I didn't know." I told him honestly

He nodded.

"I went home and your mother threw me a hissy fit about going to the deatheaters meeting. Can't you see it, Harry? There I was, a vampire deatheater absolutely dangerous, being told of by a mortal pregnant woman half my size and wondering what the hell was wrong with me and why I hadn't turned her in when I had the chance!" I said chuckling

"So when did you find the answer?" he asked amused

"Oh, not more than a few hours later." I answered cryptically

"Really?" he asked curiously

"Your smart of a mother got us locked in a basement with a magical door and forgot her wand upstairs. Not to mention the fact that we were alone in the house." I told him sighing exasperated

"Something tells me you weren't happy!!!" he said laughing

"No, I wasn't! Especially when she went into labor not more than half an hour later!!!" I answered calmly

"What?" Harry asked almost chocking with astonishment

"You were born in a basement, yes!" I answered very calmly

"Of all the things you just told me, you think that's what I care about??? What happened?" he asked anxiously

"Your mother went into labor. Thankfully, it lasted only a few hours and your father was home by the time you were being born." I told him

"But what about you? You were had just learned how to deal with your thirst!! You weren't in control!!! How come you didn't attack mum??" he insisted

"I attacked her. Or at least I wanted to. I was able to control myself and help her."

"Help… her?" he said stunned

"Well, yes!! No one else was there!" I told him in an 'I think it's obvious tone'

If Lily was watching us now, I'm sure she'd find it hilarious!

"But how?" he asked again

"I guess we're back in the beginning, Harry." I said smiling knowingly

"I loved your mother. I thought I could hurt her but deep down I knew differently. And so did she." Her memory brought a wave of sadness

"She was so certain I wouldn't harm her. So sure of me being good. I couldn't even realize why back then."

"So what happened?" he asked

"You were born. The moment I set eyes on you, I knew I could never let anything to harm you." I said and then grimaced

"And then your father knocked down the door absolutely certain that I had killed Lily!"

"But you proved him wrong!" Harry said still a little amazed at my self control.

"Yes! You should have seen the look in that idiot's of a dog's face!!! Ha!!! He really didn't expect me to be more in control than him!!!" I said smiling smugly

Harry laughed.

"Your parents loved you from the first moment they set eyes on you. I think we all did. You were a great baby!" I told him smiling

"Thank you" he said moved

"It was not long after that that your parents asked me to be your godmother. I couldn't believe it! I really couldn't! And I should have said no. You deserved someone more normal than me but at the time I already loved you too much to let you go." I said sincerity ringing in my voice

"But you did. You let me go." He said unconvinced

How could I make him see that I had no other choice?? How could I explain to him that I loved him but I had to let go? For his sake… I had to tell him the truth, which was something absolutely impossible to do. He had been in enough danger as it was…

"It's true. I let go." I told him

"But why? Why Bella? You said you loved me!!! You said you loved my parents!! Damn! It's obvious you loved my parents!! Why did you have to quit on me so easily?" he asked with a mix of anger and exasperation

My actions were faster than my thoughts. Before I realized what I was doing I was standing in front of him with my hands on his shoulders.

"I never, ever quit on you!!!" I said my voice not more than a whisper but with a flat deadly tone in it.

Harry looked at me surprised. In two months time he knew me, he had never seen my dark side.

"Everything I have done since I became your legal guardian were always towards your best interest! Never, ever doubt that, Harry!!!" I shook him lightly by the shoulders

He was looking at me dumbfounded as if he made a new discovery about me. And that he had; because as much as he wanted to deny it, he could now see clearly what I meant when I said I was still a monster.

_He should know, Bella. He should know what you're really capable of!_ a voice in my head whispered

Yes, he should. But I couldn't stand it! I loved him! I couldn't stand that look of fear in his eyes!

_Maybe that was the way Edward felt when you looked at him…_ the voice whispered again

Pain shot through me at the thought. Life was a circle. There was the time I was the human and Edward was the predator; the problem was I couldn't understand him. Now Harry was the human and I was the predator; we had the exact same problem only reversed. Harry could not understand me. So that was it? Boy, if there was a God up there after all then he certainly loved messing around with me…

I looked at Harry's eyes… Lily's eyes… I couldn't do this anymore… This was too much…

I took my hands from his shoulders and turned away from him.

"When your parents…." I tried to say but my voice broke

I turned my back on him and looked out the window.

"I found them… I found them that night… And you were crying really hard…" I said and felt a hand on my shoulder

"I'm sorry" he said

"Don't be, Harry! None of this shit was ever your fault!" I answered angrily

"You need to understand! I wanted to keep you!!" I said turning to face him

"I really did!! But for days I was living between the real and the unreal so I couldn't have you anywhere near me! I couldn't control myself not to grab you and make a run for it!! I was beyond panic!" I continued

"What happened?" he asked with the same sorrow that I felt. Sorrow because we had lost all those years. Sorrow because we couldn't turn back time.

"I came around. Eventually. By the time Dumbledore had given you away on your uncle and aunt." I paused to see his reaction. Astonishment was written all over his face.

"I was beyond furious with him. I was ready to come and get you out of that place the next minute."

"What stopped you?" he asked carefully

"Dumbledore's explanation." I answered

"What do you mean?"

"He explained to me that by the time that was the safest place you could be. For many reasons. He will explain some of them when the time comes for you to know."

"I want to know now!!" he insisted

"Harry…" I started but stopped when I saw his face

"Why can't I know? It's my life!!!" he shouted angrily

"Yes it is. But you need to understand; Dumbledore kept things from you, like my existence and your godfather's, because he didn't want to put more burdens on your shoulders. For a thirteen year old you have suffered way too much. Albus wanted to protect you, he's very fond of you, you know…" I said and looked at him. Harry was looking back to me disbelief clear in his face

I sighed

"Still, I believe you have the right to know my reason." I stopped speaking trying to find a way to explain it to him

"Dumbledore reminded me that newborn vampires that had just learned to control their bloodlust were not appropriate guardians for babies. And he was right, Harry" I told him raising my hand

"No, let me finish! I understood clearly that I could offer you love but I couldn't offer you stability. Many deatheaters were on the loose! It was safer for you to remain an unknown child in the muggle world than be the famous boy-who-lived and stay with me!"

"So you left me" he said. It was not a question.

"So I left you" I answered looking straight in his eyes.

I loved this kid. He was Lily's and James's son. He was my son. I couldn't look at him in the eye and say that I regretted what I had done because it was a lie. I never regretted participating in Dumbledore's plans; not since it meant that Harry would be kept safe. Not since it meant that he would survive. He needed to accept that I left him for his sake. If he did, we would move forward. If he did not then we would have nowhere to go…

Harry sighed

"Where were you all these years?" he asked me calmly

"I was travelling" I answered cryptically

"Where?" he insisted

"Around the world" I replied firmly

"I don't understand!" he said with an edge of anger in his voice

"Harry, I know that you don't understand. But when it comes to that part of my life I don't want you to understand, just to let it go…" I told him truthfully

"Why are you doing this to me?" he shouted

"You talk to me about my parents, you're trying to persuade me that you love me and that I should trust your good intentions yet you leave me for all these years and you deny to trust me with your story!!!" he continued

"Harry, this is not a matter of trust" I answered putting my hand on his shoulder and rubbing him tenderly

"Then what is it?" he asked a little surprised by my motherly gesture

"It's a matter of safety" I answered calmly and continued before he could speak

"All I can tell you is that I was doing something for Dumbledore. You'll learn when the time is right for you to know. Hopefully, that day will never come." I told him simply

"Is it so bad?" he asked looking at my golden gaze

"Yes" was my only answer

He sighed and moved away from me.

"Do you believe me, Harry?" I asked with agony

"Yes, I think I do" he answer and I sighed relieved

"But…" he said turning to face me

"But I don't understand completely why you acted the way you did. And I don't know you. I mean up until two months ago I didn't even know you existed! It's difficult for me to accept that you left…" he said looking at me uncertainly

"Oh, Harry!" I said moving forward and putting my hands in his shoulders once again

"I know I'm asking you to trust me when I still keep things from you. But please try and understand what would you do if you were in my place?" I asked him

"Probably the same. Still, it's frustrating!!" he said sighing

"I know what you mean" I answered remembering all those times that the Cullens left me on the outside without explaining anything to me.

"You do?" he asked

"Yes, but that's another long story, which I will tell you someday." I answered smiling

"I'd like that!" he smiled back

"Harry, all that I ask for is time. Time to get to know you again and time for you to get to know me…" I told him anxiously

"I think I can do that, Bella!" he said and I thought I my dead heart fluttered

"Thank you!" I answered. If I could cry, I would have…

"No, thank you!" he always took me by surprise, just like his mother…

"For what?" I asked

"For loving my parents so much! They must have been really important to you…" he told me looking down

My grasp in his shoulders became more firm

"Yes, they were" I told him my voice breaking

"But, Harry…" I said and he looked up from the floor

"You are the most important thing to me now. The most important thing to me ever!" I declared looking at my son's eyes. At my sister's eyes…

**IMPORTANT AUTHOR'S NOTE, PLEASE READ!!!!!**

**Alright people, I hope you liked it!!!!!! I promise not to take so much time again!!! Exams are really not my best thing!!! Anyway, I have a few announcements to make!!!**

**First****, The Sacrifice has been nominated for the Best Harry Potter/Twilight Crossover at the Twi-Awards!!!!! Yeah, I know!!!! I certainly did not expect that!!!!! I want to thank the reader or readers (I wouldn't know!!!) that nominated my story! I also want to congratulate fanpire.x for creating the Twi-Awards!!! Personally, I think we should all support that kind of initiatives!!! So I'd like to ask from all of you to go there and nominate or vote your favorite stories!!!!!(If mine is beyond them that's even better!!!! Ha ha ha!!!)**

**There's a link in my profile page!**

**Second,**** The Sacrifice is being translated in French!!! Yeah!!! That I definitely did not expect!!!! I want to thank Girl for that because she took the initiative to ask me if she could do it and I most definitely agreed!!!! So far she's done an excellent job!!! So those of you who speak French you can read the French version of The Sacrifice via the link in my profile!**

**The rest of you who can't speak French… well, sorry guys, I guess you're stuck with me!!! Ha ha ha!!! **

**Third,**** a lot of you PMed me about the story's progress all this time!! So just so you don't get anxious next time I'll be gone from fanfiction's face for a long time you can check out my profile page there's a status note there that says what I'm up to at the time!!!! **

**Anyway, that's it!!! I hope you all liked the chapter!! Hopefully, you'll tell me that on a review!!! I promise to answer them all this time and give you the sneak peak of the next chapter also!!!!!! **

**Take care,**

**ElCullen**


	19. Chapter 19

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, songs etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of each author. The author of this fan fiction is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended, only for entertaining purposes. This story is rated T.**

Chapter 18 – Time

_Three and a half years later…_

The night had fallen for good in this God forsaken city. Our footsteps were echoing trough the alley and our dark cloaks were rustling with the wind.

Hopefully, no one here was alerted to our presence. The element of surprise was something I was really counting on tonight.

Tonight…

It had already been three years since I first found Harry and even to someone like me time seemed to have passed way too fast. Harry had grown up way too fast. Things in the wizarding world had changed way too fast…

FLASHBACK

_Dumbledore's office was quiet. The portraits had stopped their usual rumbling as they watched a trembling Sirius Black helping Harry to sit in a chair in front of Dumbledore's office.__ I clenched my fists and watched the moonlight coming from the window sparkling in my skin._

_Albus began to explain the length of Bartie Crouch's plan and the consequences of that plan. Lord Voldemort's return… Sirius was listening to him tentatively but I didn't. I didn't care to know how the Dark Lord had come back; despite all my statements and hopes for the opposite, I always knew he would come back. No, my only concern was Harry. Harry who looked dead beat and crushed with sorrow. Harry who had just witnessed the first murder in a long sere that, I knew for a fact, would follow…_

_Foks flew towards him from his perch and Harry looked up meeting my eyes. He knew I could see right through him. _

"_I want to know what happened when you touched the portkey." Dumbledore asked cutting through our silent communication._

"_Can't we just leave it for tomorrow? He's tired, he needs rest" Sirius interfered_

"_If for a moment I believed that it would help you putting you in to magical sleep, trust me, Harry, I would have done it." Dumbledore said without looking away from Harry_

_Harry didn't look up._

"_Dumbledore, perhaps we should…" Sirius started but Albus raised his hand_

"_Harry, if we stop the pain for now then you'll suffer a lot worse when the time comes to feel it. You've been brave. Braver than I thought you could ever be. I ask you to be brave again. I ask you to tell me what happened." Albus said calmly_

_Harry looked up. He threw a glance at Dumbledore and Sirius and then he looked at me as if asking me. _

_I nodded._

_Harry looked down again and took a deep breath. Foks let out a melodic note. Harry started speaking…_

_************************************************************_

_I was standing in the shadows of the hospital wing. Fudge had just stormed of the room after his heated argument with Dumbledore. Things were going to become more difficult now. What kind of idiot becomes the Minister for Magic when he can't even tell the truth from the lie? Gah, Humans and their sense of reason!_

"_We have work to do." Albus said _

"_Molly, can I count on you and Arthur?" he asked_

"_Of course, you can" she answered certainty clear in her voice_

"_I'll go to dad." Billy Weasley said_

"_Good, but tell him to be discreet in the ministry. I'll contact him soon." Billy nodded and left_

"_Minerva" Dumbledore turned to professor McGonagall _

"_I want to see Hagrid in my office as soon as possible; and Madame Maxim if she might." Professor McGonagall nodded and left too _

"_Madame Pomfrey, please go to professor Mundi's office. There's a house elf there; treat her and then lead her to the kitchens. Dobby will help her." Madame Pomfrey looked a little surprised but did as she was told_

"_Now" Dumbledore turned towards Harry's bed_

"_Sirius, please take your real form." He asked_

_The black dog took the size of my best friend while Molly Weasley let out a terrified shriek_

"_Mom!" Ron whined_

_Severus did not jump or scream just looked scared and angry._

"_What is he doing here?" he asked _

"_I called him just like I called you, Severus." Albus replied_

"_I trust you both and I believe it's time to put your old problems behind. You're on the same side now, so you'll have to shake hands and let the past go." He finished_

_They shook hands with real hatred on their eyes._

"_Good" Dumbledore said satisfied_

"_Sirius, you must leave immediately. Find and alert all of our old friends and allies."_

"_But…" Harry said_

"_I promise to see you soon, Harry. But now I need to help as much as I can, you understand that right?" Sirius said and both he and Harry turned their heads towards the direction of the shadows I was standing_

"_Yes, of__ course" Harry said turning to look at Sirius_

_Sirius squeezed his hand, nodded at Dumbledore and winked towards my direction. He turned in to a dog again and left noisily as usual. I smiled to myself. He really was hopeless._

"_Bella" Dumbledore was now looking in my direction_

_The time had come. I was not ready. I needed more time. But time had come to complete my task, so I stepped in the light and closer to Severus. _

"_You both know what I am going to ask you… I you're ready, if you're willing…" Albus said anxiously for the first time_

"_Yes" Severus said calmly and then walked out the door not turning to face me_

"_Bella?" Harry's voice asked with horror_

"_Harry, I need to go too" I said approaching him calmly_

"_No!!! No!!! You'll… They'll… He said…. And you…" Harry was screaming at the top of his lungs_

"_Harry..." I stroked his hair_

"_Remember what I told you a year ago?" I whispered so that only he could hear_

"_You said I'm the most important thing to you now, the most important thing to you ever." He answered pleadingly_

"_Exactly. You must let me go and make things safe for you." I answered_

"_But you'll die…" he said on the verge of tears_

"_No, I won't." I answered steadily_

"_You cannot promise that…" he whispered back crushed_

"_I can and I am. Harry…" I said and he looked at my eyes_

"_Have I ever lied to you?" I asked him_

"_No" he answered immediately_

"_Trust me, kiddo" I told him and stroked his hair_

_Harry hugged me fiercely and let go._

_I turned away from him and looked at Dumbledore._

"_Be safe" he said as if making a wish for someone who knew was already dead_

"_Come back to me soon, Bella…" Harry whispered silently, knowing that only I would hear_

_As I walked out the door I knew that I had just given my godson a false promise in order to be able to keep the other promise I gave to his mother all those years ago…_

END FLASHBACK

_And now here I am keeping that very promise…_ I thought to myself as we were coming close to the end of the alley.

Until now, there was no sign that our presence was detected. That meant I was right to pick this night out of all of them. Oh, yes… Tonight they would be too preoccupied to keep their defenses high as usual. The only thing left was the plan to unfold exactly as I was hoping. As Dumbledore had planned…

_Ah, Albus… things should not have to be this way…. __You should not have died so soon…_ I thought to him and the deatheaters behind me increased their pace. We were getting closer.

FLASHBACK

"_The curse is working from the inside" Severus stated_

"_How long do I have?" Albus asked calmly_

"_A year maybe less" Severus answered coldly_

"_Why did you put the ring on, Albus?" I asked him stubbornly_

_We had faced many curses like this very one together yet he never did something so stupid. On the contrary, he always saved me from doing the stupid stuff._

"_That is a question I would like to know the answer too, Isabella." Severus agreed_

"_Because as you both love to forget from time to time, I am a human." Albus answered heavily_

"_And that is supposed to mean?" I insisted _

"_That means that I may usually act smartly maybe even wisely but I too, have my weaknesses…" Dumbledore answered_

"_Weaknesses that will kill you." Severus reminded him_

"_Yes, Severus, which means that I have little time and many things to tend to" he answered_

"_What's gonna happen now?" I asked_

"_One of you will have to kill me" Albus declared calmly_

"_Have you gone mad?" I growled in frustration_

"_You go along, convict yourself to death in the most stupid way there is and then you need one of us to murder you?" I went on_

"_I can't help but agree with Isabella" Severus said_

"_One of you must kill me! It is… necessary." Dumbledore insisted heatedly_

"_But you won't tell us why?" Severus fired back_

"_I could explain that to you, Severus but even if I did it would not change the fact that one of you has to kill me." He answered calmly_

"_So you're just going to leave us in the dark as usual, won't you?" Severus went on suddenly furious_

"_Severus…" I started_

"_No, Isabella! You and I both know this is about Potter! His life is in danger too!"_

"_Severus, I have Harry's best interest at heart." Dumbledore stated firmly_

"_Yes, and you only share your information with him! Why can't I know what this is about too?"_

"_Because it's dangerous!" Dumbledore raised his voice as well_

"_My life is in danger too, yet you ask me to kill you without even being decent enough to explain to me why!" Severus said and then stormed out the office_

_Dumbledore sighed heavily._

"_You know, Albus, he is right" I said calmly_

"_Bella…" he said looking at me_

"_No, think about it. You want one of us to kill you without even saying why." I cut him of_

"_Bella, you know very well I've shared all my information with you." He answered firmly_

"_That's what I thought too. But your reluctance to explain why you put the ring on and why now we have to kill you before you die on your own is putting me on thoughts. What is it that you've kept from me?" I asked suddenly worried_

"_I've kept nothing from you!" Albus said his face not giving anything away_

"_I hope so" I answered the threat clear in my voice. I was not going to tolerate anything that would put Harry's life into danger._

"_Trust me" was the only thing he said_

"_I do. With my life. But if I have to chose between you and Harry, Albus, then I'll chose him" I stated calmly_

"_I wouldn't have it any other way, Bella" he replied smiling_

"_Now" he said his tone going back to businesslike _

"_Are you sure you've found it?"_

"_Yes" I answered smugly_

"_And it's there?" _

"_Yes"_

"_Good" he said satisfied_

"_Did you put the plan in motion?" he asked_

_I nodded_

"_Good. I'll have a talk with Severus; he'll have your back." He said seriously_

"_While you'll be trying to convince him to kill you?" I asked _

"_That too" he replied_

_I sighed_

"_Bella, maybe you…" he started but I cut him of_

"_Oh, no! Don't even dare to ask me, Albus!" _

"_B…" he tried to start again but I cut him of_

"_I said I will choose Harry if I ever have to pick. But right now I don't so no, I will not have your blood in my hands. Even if it's impossible to tell, I have a conscience and I will not burden it with your murder. I've already killed enough people." I stated_

_Foks let out a melodic note and Albus smiled and looked at me over his half moon spectacles_

"_You know, Bella, if I ever had a grand-daughter, I would want her to be just like you…" _

END FLASHBACK

We were standing at the end of the alley. The castle towered above our heads. The gates were open and the guards were gone.

Hmm…. I should be careful. It could be a trap.

"Be ready" I said and Mackner, Mulciber and Avery looked at me behind their deatheater's masks

"There are no limits to make mistakes tonight. And keep your eyes open. This is after all Volterra." I said calmly and moved carefully to the inside

It was not at all difficult to find them; the Volturi. The smells, the sounds of the voices of hundreds of people were easy to be found by someone with my supernatural senses. It all led towards a big ball room in the main domain of the castle right above the executions chamber.

I smiled menacingly. They didn't stand a chance.

We reached the entrance of the ball room the moment one of the three men sitting on the thrones at the back of the room, stood up and asked for everyone's attention.

I raised my hand and the three deatheaters behind me stopped dead in their tracks. Much to my amusement, their presence in a castle full of vampires had not scared them at all. Their heartbeats were calm as usual.

We stood in the hall in front of the doors covered by the shadows. This would not last for long; someone would eventually smell the humans behind me. However, I wanted to give the one I presumed was Aro the chance to speak. That way everyone would be distracted and when the time came we would surprise them enough to actually stand and listen.

The room above us was lit by thousands of candles giving it an inhuman light. The crowd of immortals was dressed in every possible color giving the impression of false entertainment.

I knew better. All the ones present tonight, were not here by a false sense of amusement. Alliances would be formed this night. That's what I was here for. To prevent that from happening.

_Divide and conquer… _I thought and the corners of my lips pulled up in a cold smile

"Dear, guests!" Aro's words caught my attention

"We are gathered here tonight to celebrate the three thousand years since this castle was built!" he announced and the audience kindly applauded

"So I want to make use of this festive occasion and make another announcement to you!" Aro smiled and nodded to a breathtakingly beautiful creature to come forth

"I would like to announce to you the engagement of our daughter Cara Volturi, princess of Volterra with no other than our most beloved head of the guard, Edward Cullen!" Aro applauded as a bronze haired man came forth and took his place beside the gorgeous looking woman.

**AN:**** I'm really sorry for not answering any of the reviews but I didn't have the time. Thank you for taking the time to leave your comments. I hope some of your questions were answered in this chapter. Obviously none of you expected things to evolve this way so I'm not really sure whether you're okay with it or you just hated it. Either way please review.**

**Take care,**

**ElCullen**


	20. Chapter 20

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, songs etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of each author. The author of this fan fiction is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended, only for entertaining purposes. This story is rated T.**

Chapter 19 – Volterra

Changing into a vampire means loosing all the memories you've had from before. All the places you've been, all the people you loved, all the moments you lived fade away. Only a very strong feeling can survive the change. A strong love, a strong hatred, a strong sorrow… the list can go on forever.

When the change came for me I could only feel the excruciating pain of the venom spreading in my body. It took only three days. Only three days for my life to change completely. When I woke up I realized I was being punished.

My conviction was to remember.

I held every moment, every word, every thought of my human life intact in my mind.

Like I said, it took only three days.

Three days for my broken heart to grow cold.

* * *

Aro kept talking but my mind had stopped a moment ago.

_We would like to announce the engagement of our daughter__, Cara Volturi with no other than the head of our guard, Edward Cullen…_

My vision was blurry. I could not distinguish the faces in the crowd below me. Pain and anger were washing through me like a tidal wave.

I stood frozen in the shadows trying to understand what I had just heard. My vampire mind was trying hard to analyze what my heart was rejecting with all its force.

_The engagement of our daughter, Cara Volturi with no other than the head of our guard, Edward Cullen__…_

Cara Volturi and Edward Cullen…

Edward Cullen…

"_It's better for us not to be friends, Bella"_

"_I might not give you back, though"_

"_What if I'm not a superhero? What if I'm the bad guy?"_

"_You know Debussy?" _

"_Do I dazzle you?"_

"_I'm tired of trying to stay away from you, Bella"_

"_So the lion fell in love with the lamb"_

"_You were my inspiration for this"_

"_Bella, you are my life now"_

"_Where else am I gonna go?"_

"_Isn't it enough to live a long and happy life with me?"_

"_Bella, we're leaving"_

"_You don't belong in my world, Bella"_

Every memory of him since I first met him until the day he left me in the forest came back to me with full force. Every thought I've made from the happiest to the most miserable was like a huge burden on my shoulders. Every word he had uttered was slapping me hard across the face.

The hole in my chest was open again.

And I knew I just couldn't do this. It was too much. I was not ready. I was ready for everything but this. I had to go. I had to leave now.

I took a step backwards and turned around. The deatheaters were looking at me nervously. They were confused by my sudden hesitation. My acts would cost their lives tonight. That did not bother me. I had many murders in my conscience; three more would not make a difference even if I wasn't the one who would actually commit them. It didn't really matter, anyway. The Dark Lord would kill us all if we failed the little task he had given us tonight.

_What about your task, Bella?_ The familiar voice in my head mocked me

_Wasn't it you who declared that you would do anything in your power to complete the task Dumbledore gave you all those years ago?_ The voice kept on

I had done that. I had promised to complete the mission. That way Harry would be given a fair chance against the Dark Lord and the deaths of our loved ones would not be in vain.

_Yet the moment you face your past you are ready to run… _

_I can't do this! I just can't… Why won't you understand?_ I thought painfully

_Oh, but I understand. It's __the best thing to do. Let's run away now while we still can… _the selfish side of me whispered seductively.

I was frozen in place, incapable of deciding whether to bolt or stay and give the fight I was putting of for about eighteen years when I heard her voice.

She had come, like she always did when I needed her, quietly; her graceful figure standing in front of me. My personal guardian angel…

Her voice was soft like a gentle caress of the wind yet it sounded clear in my ears as if she never left this world…

"Be brave, my Izzie" Lily whispered and her vision faded away leaving me behind

My Izzie… She always used to say that to me… My Izzie as in: my sister Izzie… If only she could take me with her when she left… But creatures like me don't belong in heaven. And I knew for a fact that my sister would be in heaven. No one deserved heaven more than she did…

I hang my head in shame… How could I ever think of letting go? How could I after everything she had done for me? How could I after I promised to look after her son?

My path was set in stone the moment I heard her voice. I would go in there and do what I was assigned to do tonight.

Because it didn't matter. It didn't matter anymore that Edward was in there. It didn't matter that this was the celebration for his engagement. It didn't matter that I could die tonight.

The only thing that mattered was Harry.

I would keep him safe.

Because my sister had given her life for him.

And I had given her a promise.

And to that promise I would hold until the moment I died, if that's what I did…

I looked up and found three pairs of eyes studying me nervously behind their masks. In a reflex move, I straightened mine. I took a deep breath and let the useless air out again. It helped me compose myself. I needed all the nerve and coolness I could master tonight.

When I felt ready I looked up at Mackner and nodded. He took a step forwards. He was the most qualified to watch my back if anything happened tonight.

I turned around gracefully and observed the big chamber in front of me. Aro's last words had echoed across the room which was, even for our kind's standards, unnaturally silent.

_Well, here goes nothing,_ I thought sarcastically and took a step to the light.

Nothing changed. The crowd was too occupied with what was in front of them to turn around and notice me standing in the beginning of the great staircase. I knew that was only temporary. Eventually someone would smell the three humans behind me. I smiled grimly. Obviously, I would have to distract their attention from the happy couple standing on the other side of the room.

I masked my face with my most malicious smile and clapped my hands in applause for the news that Aro had just announced.

Every single head in the room turned towards my direction. I felt before I heard all the vampires in the room gasping in synchronization as they slowly took in the sight in front of them; four deatheaters standing at the grand staircase of Volterra's ballroom.

_Albus would find this hilarious_, I thought and my smile became wider.

The guards recovered from their surprise just as had started descending the stairs. We met at the end. I looked at them calmly. The big one was certainly Felix, the other two probably Heidi and Alec. Hmm… I looked at the other side of the room. Aro was still standing in front of the three thrones. Caius was on his feet too while Marcus just sat there looking at me indifferently.

"The courtesy _of your hall_ is somewhat lessened of late, Lord Aro" I said the moment his gaze locked in mine.

"I don't recall ever inviting you" the white haired vampire in his left didn't give him a chance to answer. Caius.

"Then I suppose we can all accept that both of our sides are rude." I answered thoughtfully

The guards were hovering in front of us but they were hesitant to attack without a straight order from Aro. And Aro hadn't spoken yet.

"Perhaps, I should assure you that we do come in peace" I added

"Ha!!!" was Caius's answer

"Peace, brother" Aro finally said confidently.

"You say you come in peace yet you are certainly not letting our feast to evolve peacefully." He said calmly turning to our direction

He was behaving as if he had the control of the situation yet I could see right through him. His kind words were only an effort to read our intentions. Two could play that game.

"We had no intention of disturbing your celebration. We just felt it would be wiser to come now other than any other time." I answered with the right dosage of respect.

After all this years next to Lord Voldemort I had learned that predators with very forward behaviors were the winners of the battle. Yet they were winners for a very short period of time. Usually, they were eliminated very fast by a stronger predator of their kind. Aro certainly belonged in that category. I, on the other hand, was a very different kid of predator. Like the Dark Lord's beloved snakes I knew how to hypnotize my prey before I attacked it.

Unfortunately for the Volturi I had come prepared. I knew that the only thing that surpassed Aro's thirst for blood was his thirst for knowledge. Perhaps, I gave him the right dosage of events his curiosity would get the best of him. And when Aro ordered, the Volturi followed.

Like I said, they were here to win the battle.

I was here to win the war.

"What exactly do you want?" Marcus spoke for the first time in his deep voice

"A chance to have a fair hearing" I replied cryptically

"We do not associate with criminals." Caius said quickly

The crowd started buzzing from whispers.

"We would like to hear you, but you would have to be vampires to do that" Aro said diplomatically. Obviously, he hadn't figured out yet that I was exactly that.

_A black cloak that covers all of your body and a deatheater mask are obviously not the best way to state that you are one of them, Bella… _I thought dryly

"Oh, but I am a vampire, lord Aro" I answered smugly

I could practically see the wheels in his mind turning.

"Felix, please let them come forth" he said after a moment. Caius huffed.

Our shoes were the only noise in the room as we were approaching the thrones in human pace.

I should have been taking a good sight of what was around me yet I could not bring myself to care. My eyes were fixed on the couple standing next to Aro. Cara was the most breathtaking creature I had ever seen. Her beauty was painful almost like Rosalie's but different at the same time. Rosalie had a soft side that was showing in her face, especially when she was looking at Emmet. Cara didn't seem to have that. Still, she was marrying Edward. She had to be feeling something for him, right?

_There's no love in evil, Izzie, only lustfulness…_ I remembered James telling me

I felt a rush of sadness taking over me as I looked past Cara's face to his. He had not changed at all still he seemed as if he had changed a lot. He was always the seventeen year old vampire with the messy bronze hair but something in his posture was different. His hands were clenched in fists, the lines in his face were more prominent and his beautiful golden eyes were gone. They reflected the same crimson color that mine had. I hadn't killed a human in almost fifteen years though; I doubted he could say the same. He looked as if he would prefer to be anywhere than this place.

What had happened to him? Why was he even here? Where was his family? Where was Carlisle?

Cara's hand touched his. He unclenched his fist and took her hand in his.

_It will be as if I never existed… _

I suppressed my growl the last moment. I hated him. I hated him with every ounce of my existence. Every painful moment, every bitter thought I had made since he left me came crushing my mind with anger. He had taken me, played with me, he had thrown me away when he was done and then my life was destroyed because of him.

The worst part was that he couldn't take it back. Even if he begged for my forgiveness, even if he gave his life he could not take back what I had been through for all those years. And I hated him for that, because I could no longer love him. I could not love the reason for all my suffering.

Edward Cullen…

My personal heaven…

My personal hell…

I stopped a few feet away from him. If I went closer I would lounge at him and I was not sure whether it would be to kiss him or kill him…

_Carefully, Bella… Stay focused…_ my mind warned me

"You are indeed a vampire" Aro said

The deatheaters snickered behind me

Growls were heard from all the directions.

"Come now, gentlemen, be nice" I said calmly to them

"You are not a young one either. I've never even heard of you" Aro said ignoring them

"What's to hear, Aro? This is ridiculous!! Vampire or not she is a deatheater" Caius said loudly and a lot of murmurs of agreement were heard

"A vampire deatheater!!! And it is so ordinary for us to have vampires in our top classes!!" Mackner exclaimed amused

"See, brother? Her human followers already doubt her!!! How difficult can it be to keep them in track?" Caius said mockingly and several laughs were heard

I smiled

"I believe that Mr. Mackner, I'm sure you've heard of him…" at the sound of that name the laughs died immediately.

My smile grew wider

"…only wanted to point out that you might have heard of me before…" I finished with a hint of threat in my voice.

Everyone was gaping at me openly not understanding my words until a single gasp was heard in the whole room.

Aro turned around to look at someone from the guard. Who I could not distinguish other guards were standing in the way.

"My dearest" Aro said and I thought I saw Edward and Cara flinch

"I should have thought earlier that you could help us all. Please come forth." He continued calmly

The other members of the guard opened a path and I saw a small girl wearing the grey robe of the guard coming to stand on the other side of Aro.

"Now, my dear, please tell me what exactly did you see?" Aro asked her with a hint of adoration in his voice.

For the second time in a day I was surprised as my crimson gaze locked in Alice's golden one.

**AN****: Ok, now I know that most of you hate me for not updating in so long! I'm really sorry for that. I'm having serious trouble with my studying because I don't have enough time. Although, you should know I hadn't been neglecting fanfiction. I have the whole chapter in my notebook but it's really difficult for me to find the time to type it and that's why today you got only the half of it… The other half is still in my notebook but I promise it won't stay there for long. I'll type it until next week and you'll get to read what happens next. So, no worries about me not finishing this story… It might take time but I will give Bella the ending she deserves!**

**Now, I want to thank you all for reviewing… I really did not expect you to like it so much… Hopefully, you'll still like it after you've read this chapter too. It's really interesting that some of you guessed correctly about the line of events that would follow! **

**Many of you asked what's gonna happen with Edward and Bella… I'm gonna tell you once again that this is an Edward and Bella story! **

**And I know that the last chapters were very confusing concerning many things like Edward's and Alice's presence in Volterra or Bella's mission… Don't worry, you will get all the answers in due time…**

**Lastly, I'm really sorry if there is spelling or grammar errors. I'm trying hard to give you a well written chapter but sometimes I'm so tired that I can't really catch all my mistakes. So, please forgive me…**

**I hope you liked it, I know it was short but you'll get the rest very soon…**

**Can anyone guess what Voldemort asked from Bella to do in Volterra? Or why Edward and Alice are in the guard?**

**Take care,**

**ElCullen**


	21. Chapter 21

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, songs etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of each author. The author of this fan fiction is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended, only for entertaining purposes. This story is rated T.**

**AN****: Alice's eyes are gold and Bella's and Edward's are red. Edward kills humans, but Bella doesn't. And I know that sounds completely crazy but you'll get to figure it out in a few chapters, I promise!!! Enjoy!**

Chapter 20 – Volterra Part II

"_Grandma, look at me!!!" __the little girl screamed as the swing went higher and higher_

"_Bella, please be careful! You'll get hurt!" she said anxiously and she stopped the swing_

"_Grandma!!!" the girl whined "Why did you stop me? I wasn't going to fall!" _

"_You cannot know that!" she scolded_

"_Oh, yes I can!!!" she insisted_

"_No, Bella!!! No one knows the future!" she answered calmly_

"_But I know mine! Mommy and daddy will get together again and we'll all live happy!!!" the little one said seriously_

"_Bella, when people make plans on earth, God laughs at them in the skies…" she answered wisely_

"_I don't understand" the girl said_

"_I know, sweetheart!" her grandmother hugged her gently_

"_But one day you will…." She whispered in her hair_

I wasn't exactly certain why the specific memory from my childhood came to me at this moment, but it sure made sense. Stubborn and persistent as a little child was, I believed that I could hold the world in my grasp.

When I grew up a little I believed I was the answer to my mother's luck of ability to take care of herself.

When she got married, I was certain I could make my father happy.

When I met Edward, I was convinced that he loved me back as much as I did.

When I met James and Lily, I thought I could love them without being afraid of loosing them.

The night Sirius died, I thought he would listen to me when I told him to stay put.

The night Albus died, I could not believe it because I thought he would always be there to guide me.

This very night I came here with two tasks. One was given to me by the Dark Lord; the other by Albus Dumbledore. Both were important to be achieved, because both would help me to save Harry.

This very night I came in Volterra in order to save my godson. I expected to find hostility, hatred and resentment among the others of my kind. What I never expected to find was Edward and Alice Cullen.

My grandmother was right. God was certainly laughing at me when I made all those plans.

The truth was that I really didn't care. I was here to keep my promise to Lily. And plan or no plan, Edward and Alice or no Edward and Alice, I would do it.

* * *

Time seemed to have frozen in the big chamber. The only sound that indicated life were the calm heartbeats of the three humans behind me.

Seriously, were they ever afraid of anything except their master?

The Volturi snapped out of it faster than the others.

"My precious Alice, it seems to me that you are very upset tonight." Aro said sweetly turning to Alice Cullen.

Alice Cullen…

Pain attacked me once more. Of all the Cullens she was the one I counted as a sister. She was the one that I would have sworn that would never leave me.

_She did though… She got in a car and left without even looking in the mirror… Without even saying goodbye…_ the monster inside me whispered venomously

Everything was a lie. Her promises, her care, her friendship. Lies, lies, lies…

Still, it was impossible for me to process the sight before me. I was looking at her beautiful eyes after all this time, yet I could not believe I met her here of all the places in the world and under these circumstances. I was the deatheater and she was a member of the Volturi guard. What the hell was going on here?

Alice didn't reply to him at once. She looked at me intently as if searching for something that wasn't there. I remembered her doing that before. She was looking for the future.

Well, that certainly made things complicated. My gift worked only with mental powers, not physical. If I acted carelessly, Alice would see what I was up to and that would ruin everything. I slowly emptied my mind from all thoughts. I had seen Severus doing that very often and although occlumensy was useless to me, I could use a few tricks to keep Alice out.

I instantly decided to cancel the plan Macnair and I had carefully set up for tonight. I had to think fast and make snap decisions in order to surprise Alice. Hopefully, Macnair would figure out what her gift was and he would keep the other two goofs from saying or doing anything foolish. With that last thought, I took control over my ragging feelings and looked at her calmly.

Alice immediately frowned.

"Alice, my dearest, what do you see?" Aro said questioningly

She looked at me intensely for a moment and then sighed and gave her hand to Aro.

Ah, of course. The father of the Volturi's happy little family could read minds. I wondered…

Aro's face turned from calm and confident to worried and intrigued at the same time.

"What is it, brother?" Caius asked impatiently

Aro ignored him and turned to Edward extending his right hand

Edward moved past Cara and took it.

Of course! Aro could hear only if someone touched him. Obviously, Edward's gift had a bigger range of action. Hmm… Interesting… I checked my shield in order to make sure that it covered the deatheaters too. Just a moment later I felt a push from another mental power. I had to resist my urge to push back and send Edward flying across the room.

The push stopped as abruptly as it started. Edward and Aro looked at each other and they both turned to us frowning.

"Aro, what on earth is going on?" Caius asked angrily

Aro ignored him and kept looking at us very intrigued.

"Alice? Edward?" a magnificent voice asked and I saw Cara taking Edward's hand again

Every ounce of restraint I had was barely enough to prevent me from ripping her hand out of her body and launching at the lying bastard that was standing next to her.

Macnair sensed my discomfort and moved a step closer.

Caius looked at him and then turned to Alice.

"What did you see?" he asked her venom dripping in his voice

"Nothing" was her only answer and the room gasped in unison

"What do you mean?" Cara asked incredulity clear in her voice

"Apparently there is something missing when it comes to our visitors futures." Aro answered and I felt Macnair stiffen behind me.

Finally, he understood in what kind of danger we were.

"You mean that they haven't yet made a decision when it comes to their presence here tonight?" Cara asked again

"Or that they don't want to make one" answered a smooth velvet voice that I would recognize anywhere. Like in the appearance, my human memories had wronged monstrously Edward's voice. Now that I was like him, I could see that it was much stronger and beautiful than I remembered.

Once upon a time, his voice was the most wonderful sound in my world. After all this time, it was still velvet and warm but to me it sounded more like the rock that smashes the glass; a constant reminder of how my human heart was smashed…

"But certainly you could see that, right?" Cara asked him anxiously

"Apparently there's something blocking me too" Edward answered never taking his eyes of me

The deatheaters snickered again and everyone looked at us; this time with wonder.

I smiled.

"I see you are starting to understand that there are no limits in magic." I lied to Aro calmly

"Who are you?" Marcus asked not being fooled by my calm facade

"I am a deatheater" I answered truthfully

"Vampires do not become deatheaters. They consider us animals. They don't waste a second thought on anyone who is not a pureblood wizard!! That's why we don't want anything to do with them." he answered gesturing to the three men behind me and a murmur of agreement rose from the crowd around us

Macnair laughed and Alice growled.

"Alice?" Aro said questioningly

"Am I the only one in this chamber that knows who she is?" she asked astonished

A sudden rush of anxiety took over me.

What if she figured out who I was? How would I explain myself to the Dark Lord when he found out?

Well, if she had figured me out it was pointless to try and stop her from telling, I would just have to think of a good cover story… Damn! That was not part of the plan!!!

"Alice?" This time it was Edward's turn to ask

"Vampires don't make deatheaters!" she paused and looked at me

"All vampires, except one." She finished harshly

"What do you…?" Caius started and then stopped abruptly to look at me

This time the room fell silent by a very different emotion.

Fear.

Absolute fear.

Caius lifted a trembling hand and his crimson eyes shined with wonderment.

"You are the Ruby of the Darkness?" he asked with a breath

"That is how they call me, yes" I answered calmly

"Red for the colour, precious for the stone and beautiful as a ruby." Aro whispered

I chose not to answer.

That title was given to me by the wizarding community when I first became a deatheater. It represented a time in my life in which I was the essence of what every human's nightmares were made of. The problem was that I never committed murders because I wanted to make my master proud or become a famous deatheater. I was angry, scared and I had to survive in a place where everyone else were a step ahead of me. Not because they were smarter or stronger, but because they were wizards and I was not, because they were purebloods and I was a creature of the night.

A vampire.

When Albus first explained me my mission and I took the first search trip, I really understood what that meant. Even as a good vampire with my eyes shining golden from following the vegetarian diet and my whole attitude peaceful and tamed, wizards and witches of our world did not seem to be able to stand near me more than ten seconds without cringing with fear when hearing that title.

Since then, it had been really lonely for me…

"The ruby of the darkness…" Aro seemed lost in thought as he took a step forth in order to give me a closer look

A minute passed but he could not distinguish anything. I was never more thankful about wearing a mask that was sealing my face from his penetrating gaze.

"I was always curious to meet you." He stated giving up

"Curious to meet her?" Cara yelled outraged

"She massacred many mortals without any kind of control. She has exposed our kind countless times yet you were curious to meet her?" She continued moving forth too

"Cara, your disrespect is out of line!" Caius said harshly

A tall guard stepped closer to her as if trying to protect his princess from her father. Edward growled angrily at him. The guard glared right back. Everyone was left speechless to watch the two strong males ready to fight for the beautiful princess.

"Enough! Demetri remember your place!" Marcus said with authority

Demetri hesitated for a moment then bowed his head and went to stand next to Marcus.

Macnair laughed behind me.

"You find this funny?" Marcus asked calmly

"I find you funny. You call yourselves kings, yet your court is full of drama and no action at all!!" he replied and Mulciber snickered

"Your leader does not seem to be amused" Marcus commented still calm

"The drama never interested me, lord Volturi." I answered in the same tone reigning over my hatred

Cara growled

Aro laughed happily

"My dearest Cara, can't you see?" he asked delighted

"No, I certainly cannot!" she answered glaring at me

"Look at her. She stands there, as you correctly put it before, having broken all of our society's laws, yet she speaks as if we're the ones with the wrong behaviors and not her! It's astonishing!!!" he exclaimed happily

"That is not astonishing, it's arrogant!" Edward said taking Cara's hand in his

"That is a crime!!" Caius growled angrily and most of the guards growled with him

"How could a vampire who only gave in to his predatory instincts become a deatheater? What did he see in you that made you so special?" Aro asked me greedily

I saw my opportunity the moment he had finished uttering his question. Aro was intrigued by me. He wanted to know what I had that Voldemort needed so much. I remembered what Macnair had told me when we were planning this trip to Volterra.

"_This is the leader of the Volturi, Aro" Macnair said handing me the picture he had drown_

"_The one that can read minds?" I asked _

"_Yes" he answered _

"_Obviously, reading our minds will not be a problem since you'll have your shield upon us but you must get him to listen to you, Isabella." Walden Macnair continued_

"_Because his decision weights the more?" I asked again_

"_Yes. If we win him then the other two will agree." He said looking at me_

"_Remember, Aro is most of all a collector. He cannot resist when it comes to new talents. If he figures out what you can do, he will definitely try and collect you." _

"Perhaps my talent cannot be seen, lord Aro" I answered smiling cryptically

"So you have a talent?" he asked with a fanatical gleam in his red eyes

"Lord Aro, with all the respect" Macnair started and Aro nodded

"Since the first moment we set foot in your castle you are interrogating our group's leader for almost everything, yet you have not given her a chance to explain to you why we are here. It seems hardly fair to me that only you get to take all the answers." He finished. Macnair had read Aro's greedy expression as well as I had and he was playing along with me.

Aro looked taken aback while Caius growled looking ready to explode.

"You insolent human! How dare you?..." he started but Aro cut him of

"Peace brother! Our guest is right!" he said

"Guest?" Cara asked incredusly

Aro ignored her and turned to me

"Please do forgive us! We will all be very happy to hear the reason for your visit" he told me

"Aro have you gone mad?" Marcus asked outraged

"We come in peace." I said before they could start fighting again

"You know as well as I do, my lords, that each and every one of us is bound to the magical world. A world which is about to change. You must all know that the Dark Lord is back and more stronger than he has ever been before. What you don't know is that as we speak the Ministry of Magic is passing under the deatheaters control." I said simply and the whole room gasped in unison

"The Dark Lord calls you all to join his side. The giants did already, the werewolves too." several hisses and growls were heard across the room

"And if we decline the offer?" Marcus asked and the deatheaters behind me raised their wands

"Anyone who is not in the Dark Lord's side, he is against him." I stated monotonously. That was not an option. I needed them in England. I could not carry on with the mission Albus had given me if they were not there. Besides, even if I hated Edward and Alice, I didn't wan them to die. Not like this.

"Join us or die? That's you option?" Cara spat at me

"My lords, I have been told that diplomacy is a virtue you all posses greatly. It is not wrong to use it right now. The werewolves can become very greedy." I ignored her only looking at Aro

"Your request is worth thinking of." he answered surprising me; I didn't think he would make it so easy

"But may I ask for a favor?" he asked and Caius growled

"You want to ask a favor from those intruders?" he hissed venomously

"Brother, calm down! We must think of this. I doubt you would like a werewolf attack in Volterra!!!" he insisted

"They don't have big armies!" he answered

"Actually, when I last counted, they were enough to attack this castle and conquer it in very short time!" Macnair said politely

Marcus hissed

"Peace, brothers!" Aro said sternly

"Your favor, lord Aro" I said quietly

"Yes, of course, my lady. You are obviously being very honest with us but I cannot but notice that you still keep something from us." He said eyeing me very carefully

"And what is that?" I asked

"Your faces." He answered in the same tone and everyone looked at him curiously

"I would like to know who I am talking to." He insisted

"Lord Aro, you know who you are talking to." I told him

"I am not hiding my face behind a mask. Besides since none of our gifts is useful with you, I would like to be able to see your faces when I'm talking to you." He replied

Damn it!!! Damn Aro and his requests!!!! My mask was keeping me safe! If I took it out Edward or Alice could recognize me!!! That was not something I could face right now!!!! I had no excuse as to how I knew them and the Dark Lord would see everything trough the deatheaters minds when we returned to England! How would I excuse myself to him? What would I tell him? If he ever suspected that I had betrayed him, he would kill me that instant. That was not an option! I could not die just yet; Harry needed me to open the path for him before he could fight with the Dark Lord.

On the other hand, I had no obvious excuse for not doing as Aro had asked me. I had to take of my mask or else Macnair would get suspicious and if he got suspicious the Dark Lord would get suspicious too. I did not have that luxury. I did not have the luxury to loose the Dark Lord's trust or the Volturi's help. Damn it!!!!!

"Very well." I whispered

I raised my right hand and waved once in front of my face. I could hear the deatheaters behind me doing the same.

My mask vanished and I raised my eyes to look at the Volturi. The room had gone silent except of a tiny gasp that was almost inaudible.

I turned my head to that direction and watched horrified the Cullens standing with the guests looking at me carefully. The way you look at a monster that is ready to pounce.

One of them took a step forth towards me.

"Bella?" Rosalie whispered

**AN****: Thank you for your wonderful reviews!!!! I still can't believe you liked the last chapter so much!! **

**I also enjoyed your guesses very much! I must say that some of you got really close to what's gonna happen as you have seen!!!! Anyway, thank you very much for reading and reviewing! Please let me know what you think about this chapter too!!!**

**Anyone interested to guess what's gonna happen next?**

**HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!**

**ElCullen **


	22. Author's Note

**IMPORTANT AUTHOR'S NOTE, PLEASE READ**

Hello people! Now I know this certainly doesn't make any of you happy, but I felt that I had to explain to you my luck of updating especially since you all bombard me with PMs asking me about the next chapter.

The thing is that just after New Year's Day one of you, a fanfiction reader whom I want to thank very much, informed me that someone has stolen this story. I checked it out and it turned that indeed there is a story out there which is surprisingly similar to mine. Needless to say, I got very upset; not only because I have worked really hard to make my idea a story that many people would like to read but I also found it very unfair to all of you who had faithfully read and supported me for all this time. I did report the author of course but Fanfiction hasn't really done anything, at least not yet anyway.

The problem is that now I don't feel like writing! I mean how am I supposed to go on without even knowing what's gonna happen. It's one thing for someone to use my idea and write a different story and it's another to see scenes of my story posted in a very badly written way!!!! It's clear that I have to calm down in order to be able to produce a chapter that you'll all like to read than make Bella kill everyone and then commit suicide! Yeah, I'm that bad!

In addition to all that, I have some major exams since this Monday and I'm starting my internship soon, so the writer's block could not have come in a worse moment than this!!

I know how disappointing these all are! Still, I want to thank you for the huge amount of support you have given me for the last chapter!!! And I want you all to know that this is not me saying goodbye and giving up!!!!! No way!!!!! I'm just taking a small break from writing! You should all feel free and PM me if you need to ask me something and there is a status note in my profile page to keep you updated on what I'm up to… Hopefully, this very unpleasant issue will be solved soon and I will be back! Until then take care of yourselves!!!!

Yours,

ElCullen


	23. Chapter 23

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, songs etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of each author.****The remainder is my original work. The author of this fan fiction is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended, only for entertaining purposes. Copyright 2009 by ****ElCullen****. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without my expressed written authorization. This story is rated T.**

Chapter 21 – Volterra Part III

Watching thunderstorms is a fascinating thing. To feel the wind hissing angrily on the roof, to see the lightnings dance among the clouds, to hear the thunders roar furiously in the skies…

You can experience thunderstorms with all your senses. You can hear their sound, smell the wet ground, watch the sky darkening, taste the rain, feel the cold window beneath your palm.

Like I said, thunderstorms are fascinating to watch.

The scary part is the one before.

Before they start.

Because a thunderstorm, like any other storm, begins after a big breath.

Almost like a relationship.

Great silence that seems like great love.

And then all hell breaks loose.

* * *

I counted.

My mouth was shut, my eyes were glued to Rosalie's and I counted.

It took ten heartbeats.

Ten heartbeats that all my memories of Rosalie Hale passed in front of me slowly.

This was not her fault. Of all the Cullens, Rosalie was the one I never blamed for anything. She never cared for me. Never showed anything but resentment for me. Yet surprisingly, she was the one to recognize me after all these years.

Not Edward.

Not Alice.

Rosalie.

Unbelievable. She was looking at me with such certainty and longing in her golden gaze that I almost took her hand and said to her that yes, I was Bella Swan. Not the Bella she once knew, but still Bella.

And then that moment passed and reality settled in once again. Yes, I was Bella Swan, Harry Potter's godmother, generally known as Ruby of the Darkness, who was here to convince the Volturi to join Lord Voldemort's side and secretly to set in motion the plan for his destruction. And right know she had revealed the secret of my past which I kept very well hidden for all these years and I would just have to figure out a way to deal with the Dark Lord's suspiciousness as to why I never explained this to him and try to convince my ex-family and the love of my life that I was not their old pet, Bella Swan, but someone who just happened to look like her.

_Crap_, I thought as I was counting the tenth heartbeat.

After that everything happened very fast.

Rosalie moved forth grasping my hand as Macnair moved from behind me with his wand aloft pointing at her. I also heard Alice's voice whispering "Rose".

I turned to look at her the same moment that a terrible growl was echoing around the room.

The sight was scary even for my fair share of experience with scary things. Four guards had moved forth in order to contain the vicious monster that was ready to pounce on Rosalie Hale.

Edward was absolutely livid. His eyes were pitch black and snarls and growls were ripping from his chest as he was trying to find his way to his sister.

"Father!" Cara screamed as Edward tackled the two of the guards.

Aro nodded and more guards came forth. Soon they had formed a circle around him. He could not escape. Yet he did not settle in. He continued moving to the front looking at Rosalie and trying to get to her.

"Master, perhaps I could help" said a man who looked more like a boy coming forth. Alec.

"No!" Alice said quickly and Aro looked apprehensive

"That is not necessary!!! He'll come around!!!" she insisted and turned to look at Cara who was completely frightened

"Yes! Yes, of course he'll come around" she whispered hesitantly.

Well, well, well… The almighty princess was not as brave as she wanted us to believe.

"Edward, please!" a voice whispered and I saw Esme reaching out to Edward from the other side of the circle.

The other Cullens had moved forth too trying to convince him to calm down and stop fighting. He did not acknowledge any of them. He kept attacking the guards that circled him, his eyes set on Rosalie.

"Jasper, help him!!!" Carlisle asked frantically

Jasper nodded coming forth looking at Edward and probably assessing how he could help.

Edward growled and Jasper doubled over, probably feeling whatever Edward was feeling.

"Jasper!" Alice yelled but Caius stood next to her putting his hand on her shoulder preventing her from rushing to his side.

"Let his coven help him!" he ordered her harshly

"But I am…" she answered back

"My dear Alice" Aro said watching Carlisle who had rushed to help Jasper up and was supporting him with his hands

"You are no longer his wife. Your marriage is over." He finished faking sadness

Alice lowered her gaze to the ground and Cara took her hand in hers as if trying to console her.

I was beyond surprise. Alice and Jasper divorced? Why? Clearly she loved him as much as she always did. I couldn't believe they were divorced.

I mean I didn't even know that vampires could get divorced!

How had I missed this? How had Macnair missed this? He was supposed to be keeping a track in the vampire world for years. Possibly even longer than I had. How come he didn't know that Edward and Alice were members of the Volturi guard? And why in the world didn't I find out that Alice Cullen and Jasper Whitlock Hale were divorced? I mean, in our world that kind of unusual news traveled fast!

The scene in front of me had not changed. Edward kept attacking the guards trying to find a gap to get out. The only difference was that Alice and Cara had moved forth begging him to stop along with the others. Behind them the Volturi waited. Caius was angry. Marcus looked pained. And Aro was watching Jasper with a calculating expression on his face as he was standing on the opposite side of the circle sending calming waves to Edward the pain evident on his face.

The only one who kept her coolness was Rosalie Hale.

She barely turned her face to look at her brother. Instead of that her eyes were fixed on me examining my every feature, my every expression.

If I claimed to understand anything at that moment, that would be the greatest of all my lies. And I had said a few over the years.

How in the world did this happen? Rosalie recognized me. I understood that. But why did she acknowledge me? Why didn't she just flip me of like she always did? And how could a single word uttered from her mouth cause such a huge reaction?

_It wasn't any word she whispered! It was your name!_ My mind sang to me

Yes, my name…

Bella…

But why did Edward Cullen react like that? Why did they all react like that? It had been almost twenty years since the last time I saw any of them! They had just left without even saying goodbye…

I let my gaze wonder at them again. They had not changed at all yet, like Edward and Alice, they had changed a lot. They all looked the same. Still, the look of tiredness in Carlisle's eyes, the lines of pain in Esme's face, the loneliness in Emmet's expression and the utter misery that Jasper radiated was enough for me to understand that the change was internal. Their feelings had changed. They were no longer happy.

Hell, they were no longer a family.

Even Rosalie seemed to understand it and that fact alone lost her some of her arrogance. If someone looked beyond the beautiful exterior, he could see the person inside.

On the other hand, when it came to Rosalie, I always saw the person inside.

Yeah, well! Last time that didn't help me much…

Edward's growls started to die down and I knew without looking that Jasper's calming ability was starting to get into him. Aro started to say something but Alice beat him to it

"Rosalie Lillian Hale! How could you?" she screamed her eyes peach black from fury

Rosalie winced but she held her ground only turning sideways to answer to Alice, her grasp in my arm never loosening.

"How could I what, Alice? Not acknowledge Bella when I see her?" she asked calmly

Edward's growl was back full force. This time Alice growled with him.

"Rose, God knows how much I love you, but if you do not stop this now…" Emmet bellowed furious but she cut him of

"Emmet McCarthy Cullen!!! Don't you dare threaten ME!!!! After all our family has been through, after all the time we thought she was dead!!! Don't you tell me to stop! Don't you dare tell me to stop!!! She is here now!!!!" she bellowed her calm façade gone

The room had fallen silent.

Well, my mind had fallen silent too. My emotions were a very different thing however. It was like having an undetermined shower. First cold, then hot, then again cold, then again hot and so on in an unbreakable circle that I hated.

Confusion, anger, self-loathing, pain, love, more pain, anxiousness and then again confusion from the beginning… I had to tame this. It would not be long before Jasper turned his emotional antenna towards me and I could not afford to be discovered. Not now.

A rich velvety voice broke through my concentration.

"How dare you? To me? To your brother? How DARE YOU insult HER memory like that? How DARE YOU compare HER to that murderer???" he said choking with disgust.

The walls rang from his voice making almost everyone in the room wince.

Almost everyone.

The coolness I was mastering just a moment ago was now gone.

So I was a murderer?

So for once again I was not good enough for Edward Cullen?

Somewhere in the back of my head, a voice whispered to me that I had to stick to the plan.

I shut it of.

So he thought he had the right to be angry. After everything he did to me, every lie he had uttered, every bad thing that had happened to me since HE left me, he honestly believed that he could accuse me of being a murderer??

Edward Cullen???

_He doesn't know it's you!! You have to stay focused!!!_ My mind whispered urgently the moment Jasper had started turning towards my direction with a look of disbelief at his face.

I knew that. I just couldn't find the strength to do it. The famous self-control I had built since I've met Remus Lupin had started crumbling away like the pieces of a sand castle and I hadn't even talked straight to the bastard standing opposite me!

I could now see Jasper through a red cloud of anger having turned his whole body towards me and looking at me worriedly. But just as I was about to pounce, a voice whispered to my ear

"Izzie, my sister, you promised." Lily said and I found myself disconnected from my feelings. From the situation in front of me.

So for some reason Edward Cullen reacted when my name was being uttered in front of him. Why should I care? He did not. He did not care at all for me when I needed him.

Lily on the other hand was my sister. My family. And I had given a promise to her. A promise to keep her son alive.

My godson.

My little miracle.

Harry.

And I would do it. Even if I had to light up all the fires of hell. Even if I had to kill myself in the process.

No one would stop me.

Not even Edward Cullen.

So I snapped out of it. The veil of the anger was lifted and my emotions were on check again. However, when I locked eyes with Jasper I realized immediately that just those moments that it had taken me to come to my senses again was all that he needed to understand that something was very wrong.

Oh, the irony!

Edward and Alice, who claimed to love me, considered me the worst kind of vampire that ever walked the earth whereas Rosalie and Jasper, who hated me and almost killed me in two occasions, recognized me even behind the deatheater façade!

I suppose if Sirius was watching me from somewhere up there, he would find this hilarious!

I heard the rustling of clothes and I realized that Aro had come forth again. Something was not right.

"Let us all calm down, shall we?" he gestured in the guards around Edward and they all took a few steps back. They had now formed a gap between him and Aro.

Suddenly, I realized what the problem was.

The noise had stopped. No growling and no fighting were coming from Edward's side. On the contrary, he was standing very still and he was looking at Jasper intensely.

I turned to look at Jasper who took a few steps forth having completely forgotten about Edward and trying hard to assess the mood around me. I could tell he was confused by my sudden control over my feelings.

_So, let me get this straight!_ My mind whispered to me

_You almost snapped in the middle of Volterra's ball room, Jasper Whitlock Hale was __there to witness your instant loss of control and now Edward Cullen, who almost had a heart attack when he heard your name, is probably reading his mind. Well done, Bella!!! You certainly surpassed yourself this time!!!!_ The little voice continued sarcastically

Before I could think of a way to act, Aro spoke again

"Rosalie Hale" he asked intensely

Rosalie turned to look at him but didn't let go of me. Clearly she didn't like him.

When Aro understood that that was all the acknowledgement he was going to receive from Rosalie he spoke again.

"May I ask why you called her Bella?" he motioned to my side with his hand, his tone full of authority

"Because her name is Bella. Bella Swan to be precise." She answered her gaze returning to me

This time it was Esme who reacted.

"Rosalie, I cannot believe you are doing this to your brother!!!" she hissed

"Doing what, Esme? I'm just saying what I see!" she insisted looking at her

"And what exactly do you see, miss Hale?" Cara asked surprising me. I didn't expect her to recover so quickly.

"I see Bella" she answered simply her eyes catching mine again

"You can't possibly be seeing her because Bella Swan is dead!!" Cara answered realistically

So that's what had happened to me. I guess it was to be expected. I knew that after my sudden disappearance my father would have searched for me but clearly he would never have found me. So they would have listed me as dead. Even if Charlie didn't wish to do it, the wolves would have taken care of it.

Every time I thought of my father it was like a misted veil was covering my supernatural sight. The only thing I could remember clearly from him was that fierce determination he had whenever it came to protecting me. Protecting me from sorrow when he and my mother broke up, protecting me from pain when I lost Edward and the Cullens…

_Not strong enough_, I thought

No he wasn't strong enough yet I always hoped that he would be able to overcome my loss and go on with his life.

Rosalie's growl gave a new direction to my thoughts.

How did the Cullens know that I was dead? They would have to keep in touch with Forks when I knew for a fact that they had left without a chance of turning back as long as Bella Swan was alive. So, how had they found out? And what did Cara Volturi and her coven know about Bella Swan? Clearly, many things if not all.

The question was why did Edward found it necessary to fill them in about his mortal toy? Was it to brag? Was it to show off his self control? I couldn't really know why. Still both of those potential answers did not satisfy me. Almost as if I was missing the point.

"Perhaps" Aro spoke snapping me out of my reverie

"We should ask the lady herself to explain Miss Hale's confusion to us. She has been awfully quiet." He continued looking at me the thirst of information evident at his face

I took a good look at the vampires in front of me. Some used to be my family; some were obviously my enemies and some I would have to use in order to achieve Dumbledore's plans to help Harry.

Then I turned to look at Rosalie. Her grasp was still firm on my arm. Why had she done this? Why did she acknowledge me after all the trouble she went in just to get rid of me? Her gaze was something between sadness and hope.

Unfortunately for her, I did not have the luxury to play nicely.

I took a step back withdrawing my arm from hers. Her eyes were pained.

"I apologize, Lord Volturi, but I really don't see how I can help you." I said serenely looking at Aro

"You mean you don't understand what they are talking about?" he asked me calmly

"I'm afraid not." I replied coldly

"Of course, she doesn't!!" Alice snapped and everyone turned to look at her

"My dear Alice, is there something you would like to share with us?" Aro asked

"If Bella was alive, I would have known!!! I would have never missed it!!!!" she answered with confidence

Should I have laughed?

No. Probably not.

But I did anyway.

Everyone turned to look at me again.

"Is something funny?" Alice snarled at me.

Jasper took a step forth.

"My Lords, I believe this conversation is out of order. We are not here to solve your coven's problems. And we are certainly not here to discuss our pasts with you." Macnair intervened coming to stand next to me

I took a glance at him. His cold façade could mock everyone else in the room but not me. He would want to talk about this later. And whether I convinced him or not, he would talk to the Dark Lord too.

Just great!!

"So you admit your leader _is_ Bella Swan?" Marcus asked

"The Dark Lord welcomed her in our ranks and offered her a place in the Circle. That is all you need to know." He answered calmly every word he said dripping with finality

"You insolent little human…" Caius growled but Aro put a hand on his shoulder

"Peace, brother! That is not the way to figure out the truth!" he said

"Lord Volturi" I said coldly

"I believe I asked you a question before all this drama occurred. Do you have an answer for me?" I stepped forth

Before Aro could utter a single word, Jasper gasped loudly.

The next moment I felt pressure in my shield. But that wasn't Jasper, it was Edward. He was standing exactly opposite from me; his eyes were intense, his expression focused as if nothing else mattered in this earth than seeing in my head.

Well, I guess I would have to let him down once again.

I concentrated on the point of pressure in my shield and I pushed back until the point of the elastic which he was pushing returned to his place.

Edward went flying across the room.

Everyone gasped. The guards came forth standing in front of the Volturi. Edward got up and looked at me intensely.

"I suppose that will teach you a lesson, guard." I said talking straightly to him for the first time in almost twenty years.

"Teach me a lesson?" he answered back arrogantly

"Not minding your business is dangerous, Mr. Cullen." I replied calmly

A single gasp echoed across the room and Carlisle came forth

"You are a shield!" he exclaimed

Before he could go on Caius intervened

"Jane" he said

After that everything happened very fast. A girl who looked like Alec's twin came forth and looked at me. Before she could do anything she was on her back screaming

Macnair was standing in front of me, his wand aloft.

Alec growled and fixed his gaze on him. My shield was pushed again but this time I did not push back. Revealing too many things about my gift was not a good idea.

When everyone understood that nothing would happen, whispers burst across the ballroom while Alec was snarling furiously and Jane was screaming from the pain of the cruciatus curse. I did not envy her.

"I believe this is enough." Aro said calmly and Macnair stopped

Jane stopped screaming and Alec helped her on her feet. If they could rip us apart they would. However, Aro did not pay any attention to them.

He was looking at me.

"How did you do that?" it was Marcus who asked

"I told you before, my Lords. There are no limits in magic." I lied casually

"Now I believe I asked you a question. Do you have an answer for my master?" I insisted

Carlisle spoke again ignoring them all.

"You did this. And if that's the case then your mind is _private_…" before he could go on, Edward's now familiar power was pushing on my shield once more

Persistent, I should give him that.

Still, he went flying across the room once more.

Cara growled angrily.

"Perhaps, you want to stop doing that!" I pointed out ignoring her

"Perhaps not." Was all he answered to me

The deatheaters took a step forth to stand next to me and Macnair their wands raised

"My lady, please let your master know that we do not have an official answer for him. This is something that we must consult to decide." Aro announced officially obviously realizing that this little game would have a bad ending.

Marcus looked at him disbelievingly, Caius growled and several hisses echoed around the chamber. However one grim look from Aro and they all shut it up.

I looked at Macnair and then took a step forth.

"We understand. We will leave now. However, I must warn you, my Lords. If you do not stand with the Dark Lord, then you stand against him. The ministry of magic will fall tonight. The war for Hogwarts will follow soon after. I suggest you pick a side before that very war knocks on your door as well." I answered coldly

I turned to look at Cara

"I suppose the royal wedding is off." I said venomously and with that we disaparrated from Volterra.

**AN:**** Yes, I am alive! And yes I know you are all furious with me! It became clear after all the reviews and PMs I got! Honestly, this chapter was due to come out a lot sooner that this so I suppose you can blame it all on my PC that decided to stop cooperating with me!!! Next time people, check the status note in my profile, that's why it is there!!!!! For those who wonder, no news on the fanfiction front, which is just sad… Hopefully, this chapter was worth the wait and you'll leave me a review saying how happy you are that I am back and to let me know how you're doing!!!**

**I can't promise to update soon but I will try! My life is crazy at the moment!**

**Special thanks to ****lunarwing who likes to remind me why I started writing this story at the first place!! **

**Take care,**

**El**


	24. Chapter 24

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, songs etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of each remainder is my original work. The author of this fan fiction is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended, only for entertaining purposes. Copyright 20****10**** by ElCullen. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without my expressed written authorization. ****This story is rated T.**

Chapter 22 - Revenge

I found life in the darkest of the midnight

I had no luck, just my eyes wide open

Oh, night!

Now I realize you must love me

Who was it that declared it is bad in hell?

* * *

The circle was complete. Noone was absent this evening. Not a magical creature, not a plain wizard and certainly not a deatheater.

Noone.

Not one.

Except perhaps, the Volturi.

The vampire kings that I was supposed to have introduced to this meeting but I had failed miserably to do so. Maybe that was why I was in this position right now. Or maybe _I_ was the reason for my current state because I couldn't reign over my terrible excuse of a life.

Why of all the times I could live in this cursed earth had my past to come back and haunt me now? And even worse, why couldn't I just turn my head the other way and pretend it never existed?

Obviously I had to do it. Harry's life depended on it!

The Dark Lord towered above my kneeling form on the stone floor. He was angry at me tonight.

Damn, _I_ was angry at myself! How could have I failed?

Bellatrix snickered behind me.

The cruciatus curse hit her with such force she didn't even have the time to blink. She was immediately on the floor screaming from the excruciating pain. After a few minutes it was stopped.

"Macnair" the Dark Lord ordered calmly

Macnair took a few steps forth and kneeled next to me.

"Tell me" he started "Do you still insist that the head of the Volturi guard knows, Isabella?" the Dark Lord asked

"My Lord" Macnair answered looking at him "It is not I, that claims they know anything, but the guard and his old coven" he bowed his head

Hmmm… Macnair, in his own way, was trying to help me or better, help himself.

Like the vicious person he was he had quickly become a deatheater. However, his natural savageness towards any other creature was considered less noble by the rest of the deatheaters.

Killing was one thing. Killing without class was another.

Of course the fact that he had half-blood relatives from his mother's family did not help things. Walden Macnair felt excluded by the rest of the deatheaters.

Myself, as a creature of the night was excluded because I couldn't match their blood demands. Quite funny, if you thought exactly how much blood I had consumed since I had been brought to England.

Macnair strangely saw an ally in me. Someone he could use in case the others turned against him. The fact that the Dark Lord valued me a lot seemed to give him more motives to try and take me on his side.

And why not, really? He had nothing to lose.

However, even Macnair could not come up with a convincing explanation about what had happened in Volterra.

"My Lord" I interfered immediately

"The head of the guard did not claim to know me and neither did his old coven. It was just one vampire." I clarified

"Macnair" the Dark Lord requested although he had surely forced Macnair to give him his memory and was certainly already aware of all our answers.

This charade was only a test to my reactions.

I knew better than that though.

"Indeed" Macnair answered "He did not claim to know her. I believe it was his "sister" who called her Bella." he motioned to me

"A short for Isabella, I believe." Malfoy spoke from behind me

The Dark Lord looked at me quizzically

"Indeed" I answered calmly

This was my moment. If I let it pass I would lose his trust forever. Severus looked at me from beside him. His face was a mask of indifference but I could feel the nervousness emanating from him in waves. If I died tonight…

Oh, no this would not be the case! Noone could take me down so easily! I was the Ruby of the Darkness and a fucking Volturi guard would not get me killed without even being in the room! Even if his name was Edward Cullen!

"Bella is a short for Isabella. Bella used to be my name in another life, Lucius." I answered calmly

"Human?" Macnair asked simply and I nodded my agreement

"I believe that there is something you would like to share with us, my dearest Isabella." The Dark Lord told me

"Yes" I answered in the same tone "I never explained to you master how I ended up like this" I motioned to my never aging body

"I believed that your plans and wishes were always more important" I finished humbly

"Ah, so much loyalty!" he exclaimed "I always knew I had done the right thing adopting you as one of my deatheaters, Isabella" he continued and I heard Bellatrix's low growl of hatred and insult

_That's right, bitch! You're done for!_

"Your words are a great honour to me, my Lord" I lied profoundly

He smiled pleased

"Now tell me" he continued "Why does this vampire believes that she knows you?" he asked

"Because she does know me, master" I told him calmly while everyone in the room inhaled sharply

"Or at least she knew me when I was human" I clarified

I could see the puzzled look in the Dark Lord's face; however I knew I had to get over with this now. It was better to reveal a part of my past than have him believing I lied to him just because I could.

Exposure I could afford, lack of trust no.

After all, the Volturi had not come. Obviously that meant they had decided not to join the deatheater's side in this war. And despite the problems that that fact alone created for Dumbledore's secret plan, I wouldn't have to face anyone's uncomfortable questions about my past.

"When I turned 17 years old I moved in with my father" I told only looking at the Dark Lord's face

"And that was where?" he asked me

"Forks, Washington" I said monotonously

"Never heard of it" Macnair murmured to himself

"Well, I seriously doubt anyone has! Which will be a problem because we need to make sure you're giving us the facts right!" Malfoy interfered harshly

"Leave us" the Dark Lord commanded dangerously and everyone looked taken aback

Bellatrix recovered first

"But, my Lord, surely you cannot wish…" she started but Severus didn't give her a chance to finish

"Bellatrix, we were ordered out! Surely our master knows what his wishes are better than you do!" he said playing my game

The Dark Lord's angry look was enough to stop any response she was about to give.

Severus wordlessly motioned for everyone to move. He was the last one to leave the chamber. Silence reigned after that.

"On your feet, Isabella" the Dark Lord's voice ordered me calmly

I obeyed immediately.

"Let us have a seat, shall we?" he beckoned me pleasantly to the dinning room of the Malfoy Manor

He took his position at the head of the table and I sat calmly to his right.

"I ordered them out simply because I am not willing to share, Isabella. I am your master and I want to know what happened in Volterra. However, since you've always been so eager to trust you life in my hands, I felt that it was not necessary for everyone to know one of my most precious deatheater's past. It would lose you all of their respect if you appeared weak in front of them. You have never failed me, Isabella. That, and that alone is the reason you have the chance to explain yourself. " He said confirming all of my suspicions

If it was any other than me, except perhaps Severus, he would not have heard a word. And just because I wasn't a pureblood witch, he would not give me a second chance. That meant that if my explanation tonight was not convincing enough, I would die immediately.

_Talk about playing your cards right!_ I thought

The good thing was that the minute he realized something was wrong, I had come clear and admitted I knew Rosalie. I could tell he liked the fact that I hadn't tried to keep my secrets to myself. All I had to do now was to keep my cool and say the right words.

"Thank you, my Lord! I am very grateful for this chance that I most certainly don't deserve!" I told him very humbly

"However, it is you out of everyone else that I believe will understand me and support me, master!" I finished pleadingly

"We will see" was the only answer I got.

"Like I said before, I was 17 years old when I moved in with my father in Forks, Washington." I started narrating again

"I had just started going to school there when I met a certain family." I said remembering every second of that first day

"The Cullens" I declared

"They were the most beautiful people that my naïve 17 year old self had ever met. I was impressed easily back then." I told him with a chuckle

"Children" he exclaimed

"Indeed" I agreed

"I had no idea why one of the sons, hated me with passion."

"The guard?" he asked

"Yes, him. He seemed to despise me for no apparent reason since the first moment he set his eyes on me." I explained

"I was not fazed at all! He was too handsome and I wanted him. Little did I know back then about his and his family's nature" I said

"How could they attend human school? Weren't they eager to massacre the mortals?" he asked genuinely curious

It did not slip my attention how he referred to the other humans.

_The__ mortals_

"I suppose." I answered calmly

"They were not ordinary vampires, however. They drank animal blood instead of human. They considered the rest of the vampires criminals!" I chuckled

He looked amused too.

"Now, master, as you know I have my own experience from the "vegetarian" diet." I told him

"I recall you weren't happy at all!" he chuckled

"No, but I will always be eager to satisfy your wishes, master! You wanted me to learn how to feed from animals." I explained as if I had no clue for the real reasons behind that request

"Yes, and you had done greatly at the time. I know how you fooled the old man!" he said and we both laughed maliciously

"Anyway, I had no idea what they were at first. Of course eventually, I figured it out." I explained

"But they didn't kill you?" he asked

"No, you see their son was very attracted to my blood. He wanted to savour me slowly." I told him and he looked at me puzzled

"They thought they were nobler than the other vampires, but not that much in order to spare me. They couldn't kill me because of all the stupid rules they set to themselves, so they decided to play with me." I clarified

"Their son pretended he was in love with me. No need to say I bought it. I was a stupid child who believed in true love and all those ridiculous things!"

I had his complete attention now, I could tell. He sat very still looking in front of him, expecting to hear the rest. This was very good because unlike him I had my facts straight. I knew his story like no other person ever would. I just had to push the right buttons.

"His family pretended they accepted me, even that they loved me too. I believed them. I thought, why not? Why wouldn't they love me?" I explained and I saw the hatred in his eyes

"Needless to say, master, that one day they got bored. They told me how they were playing with me from the beginning. How I could never become part of their family because I didn't much. Because they thought they were superior to me. Afterwards, they left." I smiled

He looked at me puzzled

"Who turned you?" was his only question

"A vampire who happened to pass by. You see, I realized that getting over them and moving on with my life was not an option. I wanted revenge! So the first step was to become a vampire myself!" I told him maliciously

"I found the stranger one day in the forest and I realized I could have my revenge. I convinced him to change me. He sat with me while I went through my change. When I woke up, I remembered everything and I understood immediately that he would be a burden. So I killed him." I said harshly and my eyes reflected the same hatred with the Dark Lord's

Oh, yes! It was a good idea to set him of with the family thing. He had a bad experience with family too! This was getting easier!

"How did they end up in Volterra?" he asked me

"I really don't know, master." I answered truthfully

"It was unexpected. I always hoped that when you would conquer the world and all your wishes would be fulfilled, you would help me to avenge myself." I answered humbly

I had convinced him. I could see it in his eyes. Good. He wouldn't get on my way. Now I really had to figure out a way to bring the Volturi to England.

"You have done well, Isabella. You are superior to them now! Not only you feed from humans but you are also a deatheater. One of my most precious possessions! Yes, when I'm over with this I will help you avenge yourself! We will ruin Volterra to the ground!" he laughed harshly and I kneeled right next to him

"Thank you, my Lord! You don't know how important this is to me! I am so grateful that I have met you and I get to be a part of your great plan for England and all the wizarding world!" I exclaimed happily

"Rise" was all he said

"I am not disappointed in you, Isabella! You deserve your revenge! Especially since you have served me well all these years…" he said but before he could continue there was a knock on the door

Severus Snape walked in the room looking pleased.

"My Lord" he bowed "I believe you have some visitors" he said looking at me

Before anyone could utter another word the Volturi had walked in the room with the Cullens hot on their heels.

**

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**AN:**** Please don't shoot the author! I know you hate me and all but really I couldn't help it all this time! I am so out of time, like I work and study 12 hours a day-out of time, but I felt really sad for not updating all this time so here you go! Please be kind and leave me a review, even if you don't want to have anything to do with me!**

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**I'll Fight For You**** by ****Hazelmist**

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**Till the next time,**

**ElCullen**


	25. Chapter 25

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, songs etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of each remainder is my original work. The author of this fan fiction is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended, only for entertaining purposes. Copyright 201****1**** by ElCullen. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without my expressed written authorization. ****This story is rated T.**

Chapter 23 – Roommates

Somewhere, sometime the silence

Without anything to say,

Says a lot.

And so, sometime the laughter

Appears only like laughter,

And yet,

It's a cry.

* * *

This had happened to me before. This helplessness feeling had me trapped not even a day ago, in Volterra. However, this time things were different.

They were here. The Volturi had fallen right into my trap, just as Dumbledore had hoped for. Just as I had hoped for. Hoped… with a little exception.

The Cullens.

Their presence was just as unwelcome as mine had been in Volterra. And even worse. Their presence was putting the entire plan that I was working on, at terrible risk. I could not afford their presence near me, while they would be trying to test my defenses, discover my weak spots.

Then, I could not have them near the Dark Lord either. Him deciding to trust another vampire than me would be the equal of a destruction. Like a tower made of cards. A wrong move and they would all collapse in Harry's head.

No, the Cullens were unwelcome and they had to go.

Immediately.

Besides, now that I had explained my part of the story to the Dark Lord, he would not want them around. Right? I mean he had heard me with a lot of attention before they interrupted us…

_!_

_Well done, Bella! Very well done, indeed!_ The voice in my head whispered

Damn it! How much had they overheard? Had I blown my cover so early in the game?

I searched the people's faces in front of me for signs that they had just overheard my confession to my master, but I couldn't find anything. Aro, Marcus and Caius were curtseying politely and so did the guards. The Cullens, were standing at the side but they weren't doing anything. They were just watching the scene in front of them with a mix of disgust and fear. None of them seemed to have listened a word I had uttered and I knew for a fact that even though the walls of the Malfoy Manor were as thick as they could be, nothing could have stopped them from hearing us while they were approaching.

So what had happened?

I noticed Snape looking at me with my peripheral vision. Was that him? I fixed my gaze at the wall behind him and I raised my eyebrow in question. I got a slight inkling of the head. In everyone else's eyes, even the vampire eyes, these movements we so slight so unworthy of attention, that they ended up being completely ignored, as if they had never happened. However, we were communicating that way very often lately. Discussions were not suitable in the Deatheaters Circle, especially when everyone hated us both for holding such high places in the hierarchy. Snape and I were watching each others backs though, especially since we weren't just the profond assassins, but also the traitors. Exposure meant death and it wouldn't only be our death. Severus remembered that as well as I did and that was why he was now letting me know that it was him who stopped them from hearing.

So, if my cover was intact, then why were the Cullens here? Had I raised their suspicions? Definitely. I had lost control in Volterra. That was a mistake that I would now have to find a way to fix.

I watched as Aro was talking the parole and was thanking the Dark Lord for his kind invitation, to join his side. I had to admit, even Voldemort could be amused by the way Aro was describing our little field trip to Volterra. He was looking at him with satisfaction for his compliments. Aro, on the other hand, was giving him a calculating look, obviously trying to earn his trust. The other Volturi were silent, almost unmoving like statues. Apparently, Aro was going to do the talking tonight.

And the Cullens? What the hell were they thinking coming here? How did they ever believe they'd survive this place without killing anyone? Their eyes were shining more golden than ever.

And then it was the Alice and Edward issue. They were standing with the guards as Aro was introducing each guard and his respective power. It was impossible for me to even consider a universe where Alice and Edward Cullen would choose to be away from their family and yet now here they were in front of my very eyes and I still couldn't wrap my head around it. The Volturi were now their coven, a rejection that apparently the other Cullens had not taken so well!

So what now? Vegetarian vampires were not supposed to be part of the equation. All my power with the dark Lord was that I was the only vegetarian vampire around here. He didn't even know that there were others. Others that had a much cleaner record and stronger self-control than I would ever master.

Vegetarian vampires were going to ruin everything for me and I just couldn't let that happen. I had to find a way to make them go. Would I have to kill them? I hoped not. _Could_ I kill them? Did I have the nerve? The same coldheartedness that they had shown to me all those years ago, when they abandoned me to die alone? Before I had the chance to answer that question to myself, the Dark Lord noticed the odd ones out after the introduction of the guards was completed.

"And these are?" he asked Aro

Carlisle beat him to it though.

"I am Carlisle Cullen and this is my family." He stated calmly

Voldemort observed him with his cold, snakelike eyes

"Are you a guard?" he asked after a long pause

"No" Carlisle answer steadily

"Then who are you?" Voldemort asked again

"I am their father" He motioned to Edward and Alice

"Edward and Alice joined our coven years ago. By their own free will." Caius pointed out

"You mean after you blackmailed them into it?" Rosalie asked

"My dear girl, noone blackmailed anyone. They wanted to stay." Aro answered looking over at them. Cara moved to Alice's side and took Edward's hand. He intertwined his fingers with hers and Alice smiled at her. Jasper sighed. The Dark Lord looked at me. He had realized who they were and he had the same greedy glee in his eyes with the day that he told me that I should go and spy the Order of the Phoenix. Things were not good.

"You" he told Edward and he came forth

"Can you hear my thoughts?"

Edward looked at him intensely for a minute, then he motioned "no" with his head

"And you" Lord Voldemort turned to Alice

"Can you see my future?" he asked and I emptied my mind of plans immediately

She frowned

"I am not sure" she answered in the end

"What does that mean?" screamed Voldemort and raised his wand. Alice's screams echoed around the walls. The Cullens growled. The Volturi watched with great fear. Jasper had to be restrained by both Carlisle and Rosalie. Emmet was ready to pounce as well. Edward growled and Cara moved in front of him.

"My Lord" Snape had appeared right next to him and was now whispering in his ear, as if anyone in this room couldn't hear him

"The creature does not know that you do not wish to be told half facts. Perhaps we should explain that to her and make her tell exactly how to answer you questions. Her gift is powerful, we must find a way to use it to our advantage." He suggested

Voldemort nodded, lifted his wand and then turned around to me. Alice stopped screaming. Demitri helped her up.

"She is your responsibility. You will make her tell you everything, Isabella." He stated harshly but everyone's short intakes of breath drew his attention

"Oh, yes! Her name is Isabella. She is third in command!" he said venom dripping in his voice

"I was just being explained how one of you thought she was someone else, when you came in. Another Isabella." He smiled mockingly to Carlisle

Everyone looked at him unable to answer anything to that. Edward seemed ready to rip his head of and play ball with it.

"I have a request" Carlisle said coming forth. We all looked at him as if he was crazy. Even the Dark Lord seemed surprised.

"Like I said before" Carlisle continued before anyone could cut him of

"These are my children. They did not leave willingly. I don't care about the Volturi and their laws. I don't care about your war either. I just want my children back and then we'll leave in peace." He said calmly

Well, who could have thought? Carlisle was a brave idiot after all!

"That is completely out of the question! They answer to me now! Edward is engaged to my daughter! They will not go anywhere! I forbid it!" Aro said raising his voice

"Enough! You both forget your places! You can't either request or forbid in the Dark Lord's dominion!" Snape answered angrily

Silence took over the entire chamber. Everyone was looking at Lord Voldemort as he seemed not to have noticed what had just transpired in front of him. I knew better than that though.

"Isabella" he said finally

"Yes, master" I answered automatically. Why did it always have to be me who was in trouble?

"Ah, Isabella. You have always been such a great comfort to me!" he said

"Noone of your kind, not even one, can ever claim that except you. You must be proud of yourself as the rest of your kind should be jealous of you for receiving such an honor!" he exclaimed

"But now, my dear, I must ask one last sacrifice of you. One that I have asked you to make before but fate had different plans for us." He finished and I bowed my head. What the hell did he want this time?

"You" he turned to Carlisle who was looking at us carefully

"You will teach her how to abstain from human blood. You will make her a vegetarian" he said the word with disgust

"If six months after her eyes have turned golden she can be in control around humans as much as you are, then you can leave, and you can take them with you" he motioned to Edward and Alice. The Volturi inhaled sharply but noone dared to oppose, apparently they had realized that death was the most possible punishment around here.

"If, however, you fail to teach her, then you can say goodbye to the rest of your family, as you call them." He said to a horrorstruck Carlisle

Then he turned to me

"Do not fail me, Isabella" he said warningly and then motioned for us all to leave him

I bowed deeply and exited the room with Severus Snape on my side and everyone else hot on our heels.

Talk about being fair, then again this was Voldemort. He had achieved many things in just one simple order. He had tested the Volturi's new founded allegiance. He would test my loyalty, my bloodthirst, my devotion once again, through my way of dealing with the Cullens. He would test Alice and Edward's bonds with the Volturi through the threat of the death of their former family. And lastly, he would test the Cullen's patience and endurance while trying to teach me how to be a vegetarian. Would he keep his word to Carlisle at the end of my training? Ofcourse not.

How was I supposed to deal with this? How was I going to handle it? The truth was that I would prefer to start drinking from animals again. Red eyes really didn't work well for me, especially if you threw Harry in the equation, although he had handled it perfectly all this time. Harry… Where was he hiding now? The past weeks it had been so difficult to contact him and after the deatheaters crashed Billy and Fleur's wedding, noone knew where he, Ron and Hermione were. Hopefully, somewhere safe.

I noticed Alice's gaze falling to Jasper's back then over to me. When she realized I was looking at her, she gave me a look full of hatred. Cara moved to her side and they intertwined their hands. She was playing with the golden locket that was hanging around her neck with her other hand. Her beautiful face was full of hatred too, as she looked at me but her moves revealed that she was stressed. Apparently the princess didn't have the self control that the princess of the Volturi should have.

As if I didn't have enough problems, now I would have to take classes in hunting animals. How the hell would I convince the three hundred and something years old, Carlisle Cullen that I was new at the vegetarian diet. That I had no self control? Talk about trying to remove them from Voldemort's presence. Not only would I see them on a daily basis now, but also my moves, my behaviour would be monitored by each and every one of them. Here we were, after almost twenty years and our lives were intertwined once again. Only that this time my attitude would affect their living or dying.

And here I was again, in front of the same question. Could I kill them? Did I have the resolve, if I didn't have another choice? I honestly didn't know anymore. I noticed Rosalie, with my peripheral vision, looking at me hopefully and I became even more confused. There was a time that Rosalie gave me all the hateful looks and Alice was my friend; my best friend or at least that was what I thought. Now the roles were reversed and although I didn't want it, although I didn't need it, I was affected. My vision was clouded, my thoughts were going in every direction and that angered me. It angered me because Harry was always coming first. He should be coming first. A wrong place of my judgment would cost him his life and I knew that if that fact ever occurred, my life would be just as meaningless as it was without Edward.

Edward was like the stars, eternal, blindingly beautiful, impossible to touch. Men were wasted away looking at them, just as I was wasted away after he left me. Harry… he was like a rainbow after a storm, full of colors, full of life, full of hope. Hope for a new life, a new world, a new family. Harry was the future, Edward was the past.

How could I decide who to save?

I quickened my pace and left Severus behind to deal with them.

After almost two decades of losing them, of losing him, I knew that I would have to lose them again.

**AN:**** Believe me when I say, I had no idea it would be more than a year since the last time I gave you something. I realize that a lot of people were disappointed and dropped out of this story and I totally understand that. For those who didn't, thanks so much for sticking around people! And for the new friends that joined the ride, welcome on board! I don't like making excuses but the truth is that it's been a difficult year in real life for me. I don't have the time or inspiration to write often anymore. I'm trying to change that now! So, I know it hasn't been a big chapter but I thought it was better than nothing! Tell me what you think, this time! And I will update sooner, you have my word on that!**

**Take care of yourselves out there,**

**ElCullen**


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